In November I met , online, the most wonderful man on the planet, we got together and fit like two peices of a jigsaw. It was bliss. he has now returned to Iraq (private security) and he is mainly out of communication due to the nature of his job. It was not so bad for communication when he was there before. So this time its a bit strange not hearing so much from him.
He recently said he will be out of the UK for most of the rest of the year..He thinks it may be better for me to find someone else, due to his work commitments. Thing is I knew what his job was when I took him on so thats not an issue for me. Communication IS.. Should I wait and keep the faith for a wonderful , lovely, honest , genuine man or give up and move on as life is very short and I really do want to settle down now??
At the moment I am waiting unless someone can put up a good reason not too.
2006-06-15 04:13:37 · 14 answers · asked by super_star 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He is not a soldier.
He has been but not for several years. He is does private close protection and works in remote areas. I do know for a fact that he is in Iraq. 100% he is.
He didnt just come out and say " go find someone else" .. it came out after I asked him when he is likely to be home. He then told me most of the year now, so maybe it I should find someone else.... He said he misses me and likes hearing from me also.... Talk about confuse me!
Its a bit of a "mixed" message to me.. I am not sure what to make of it.
Some good responses here though, thanks guys.
2006-06-15 12:38:37 · update #1
Hi Kerry
I've been in Iraq myself and spent half the year there and i know first hand what it feels like and what goes on in your mind when you are over there.
Your desired man works in security in Iraq where he is faced with real danger,im sure you av seen from the news and everthing else,the rest isn't for me to say.I met someone when i came back on leave and it was the best thing ever to happen to me but in my head i had this feeling what will happen to her in case i dont make it back or if something happened to me will everything still be be same with us.I survived all that and my days were hard to get by.
In your case im sure this guy is thinking along the same lines and probably feels that he should not make you wait in case he never makes it back or if something happens to him will it still be the same between you guys,more like a state of mind to get you through that time,but im sure deep down he hopes you will wait for him and as long as you have the will power to wait for that long and expect anything to happen afterwards, i think you will have given yourself the best chance with him and who knows were it will take you.
2006-06-15 11:17:03 · answer #1 · answered by toonuetral 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
If it sounds to good to be true it normally is.
Dont wait. He even told you to find someone else... although I suspect that it has nothing to do with work commitments. How do you really know he is where he says he is???
Say I was him... and I felt the same as you feel (jigsaw puzzel and whatnot) and I had to go to Iraq. I would ask you if you would wait for me... and when Im over there I would write/email/call you every single moment I could and tell you how much I love you... and how much I look forward to seeing you next. Especially in such a dangerous environment/warzone as Iraq! I could die at any moment. I wouldnt be tellin you go meet someone else if you were the love of my life.
I know its difficult, but sometimes you just gotta move on.
Good luck hunny.
2006-06-15 04:32:02 · answer #2 · answered by ne0teric 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is where your heart is than wait for him, don't make your self miserable by sitting at home. Go out and have fun, hang out with your girlfriends, do things that really make you happy. Sometimes they are able to check their email, even if they can't reply, so send him some emails to let him know how you are doing and telling him how much you miss him. Love knows no boundaries. If it is meant to be it will be, so unless you think you have found someone who has absolutely stolen your heart away from your military man, then maybe you should think about letting him go, but until then, keep hope alive. Even though he says find someone else, you can't help who you love, so if you love him, give it a chance and maybe one day it will be possible for you to be together. I am in the same situation, bc I have daughter, and there is no army base around me, so I can't just up and move when I want, but I feel it in my heart that I don't really want anyone else. I can't talk to my friend in Iraq, but I still email him often, sometimes I actually get emails back. I know he still cares about me, maybe one day we'll be able to be together, until then, I'm just playing things by ear, having fun while I can taking care of myself and my daughter, and if its meant to be it will be. Hang in there!
2006-06-15 04:22:50 · answer #3 · answered by lissa_lou22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't mean to be funny or stereotypical but and it is a big BUT he is a squaddie Hun and no matter how sweet he is, and says the right things all of it is bull **** he's probably said it to hundreds of girls! don't mean t piss on your camp fire u may think hes the best thing since sliced bread but so did one of best friends, she had supposedly been with him for 2 yrs! she ended up pregnant when she was in labour she couldn't reach him and this was after 2 car crashes he had had whilst she was pregnant so u can imagine she didn't just have to think if was gonna come home alive from Iraq but if he was safe driving his car! well it ends up he has admitted that he was staying on some birds sofa the night she was in labour! and if u believe that you'll believe anything she still not sure but just playing along at the moment i think being a new mother is taking it out of her! but please don't put yourself threw what she is going threw!
squaddie r good for a few things the shag and looking good in uniform! yummy love a man in uniform!
good luck and don't fall for the tricks i live in a town where we have an army base so we have hundreds of squaddies coming and going left right and centre and believe me they are all the same!
2006-06-15 04:32:28 · answer #4 · answered by blondebirdcrazy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen girlfriend. A man who wants to be in communication with you would BE in communication with you...whether in Iraq or somewhere else. There is such a thing as telephones, and an old fashioned pen and paper. If he was truly INTO you he would make it a priority to contact you and let you know you are valued. So I say get on with getting on....also he said maybe you should find someone else.
Do you need a turnip dropped on your head?
2006-06-15 04:22:40 · answer #5 · answered by rachel_waves 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you even have to ask this question? It looks to me like you have answered your own question. You love him and you have great chemistry (your making it seem this way) so if you knew about his job in the beginning, why even doubt it. If he loves you back and still wants a great relationship when he returns home, don't even doubt your love. If you think your going to get an answer on Yahoo Answers that is going to change your mind, maybe you have bigger beef to grill.
2006-06-15 04:18:53 · answer #6 · answered by Pork Chop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one since he specifically told you you should not wait. So the question is, did he say it because he doesn't want you to wait? or because he would feel bad that you waited so long. I would wait, and hope that when he gets home, he's happy you waited for him and if something happend to him maybe he had a premonition(vision of things to be).
2006-06-15 04:50:11 · answer #7 · answered by locutus 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really like him that much you should wait...but if he's telling you to move on maybe you should listen...it will be very hard to continue with a relationship were you cant even talk. I turly advise for you to see other people...not go sleep with anyone of that sort but go on dates, go out with friends, when he comes back if its meant to be you'll get back together.
2006-06-15 04:19:26 · answer #8 · answered by yeah yeah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh girl i know how you feel,i was seeing a turkish boy years ago and he was called up for his national service,he had to go for 18 months
i was tearing my hair out not hearing from him but i knew that it was keeping him going,me waiting for him to come home.
we had very little contact,i waited for him but when he came home he had changed,we decided to split up but we are still friends.
i think he may be trying to offer you an easy way out,but if you love him and want to be with him in the long run i think you should wait for him,it's not easy but love never is. good luck.
2006-06-15 04:26:05 · answer #9 · answered by Bird 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel you me and my ex went thru the same things but he would want me to be there when he was away and when he came home he would act different i say dont put your life on hold for anyone because he is not your husband!
2006-06-15 04:20:20 · answer #10 · answered by princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋