What do you do when your man says he's over his ex-wife but can't fully submit to you?

Question

Everytime he see's his children from the ex-wife I see that his heart misses his family. She has a live in man and they only speak when it comes to the children. Should I let his go until he is ready to fully submit to me or should I hold tight and let him go through this emotional rollercoaster. He says he doesn't want to be with his ex-wife, but when he see's his kid's he misses his family. HELP!!!!!! What do I do?

Answer 1

Im kinda going thru the same thing as your guy. He feels bad that he is not with his family. To have to sit there and watch another man provide for his family. It hurt, He is regerting all the things that he should have done but didnt do in order to make his family situation work. If you have childreen (Not by him) he probably feels bad because he see'd your childreen more than he see's his own. Just stand by him, Its hard to be in this situation for him. He needs your support and to be comforted. He may be scared to submit because he doesnt want the same thing to happen again. Its probably best that he dont submit while he is going thru this phase in his life, Because that can cause problems between you all.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Divorce is a very tough thing to go through! For so many years you get used to a lifestyle OK then when your divorced that's stripped all away from you!! I'm sure that hes being honest with you when he says he doesn't want her back! You just have to realize that he misses that lifestyle. Then when it comes to the kids it must kill him to know that some other man is there helping raise his kids. from time to time when you see that look in his heart that he misses his family he does but in the way you think! It can take people many months even years to get over a divorce!! i would try to let him go for a little while to see how he does! it could be just to early for him and if that's the Case don't put yourself down because when you get a divorce you so badly want to get back out into the dating scene but realize many times that your JUST NOT READY and it hurts to know that its just a very hard thing to do!! best of luck and God Bless Nikki

Answer 4

You need to do some soul searching. I have been married to my husband now for 13 years. When we first got together he was recently divorced and had one child. It took a long time for me to adjust to that. (I did not have any children yet and did not fully understand how hard it was for him to not be with his daughter everyday/night. I tried to be very understanding, and stood by his side through a lot. Even though he would tell me he loved me and not the ex I would feel like I was holding him from his before family. I was not. There was no love there between him and his ex, only a baby that they both loved very much. If you really love him then be there for him, make an effort to get along with and love his children. I am thankful everyday for staying with my husband. I could not ask for a better mate, and father for our children

Answer 5

I know that you can't do anything to change the fact that she's the ex and those are his children. I'm a "baby-Momma" myself and I know I will never hold top position because there's a Momma before me and after me. At first, I gave a care, but now I could care less. I had to realize that I was only in control of me. If she has a live-in man then her relationship is over between her and your man. Don't worry so much about his feelings for her(because he will always have them for her) You need to worried about how he treats you.

Answer 6

He could very well be telling you his true feelings about not missing his ex. Unfortunately for you, his children will always be a bond to his ex. Maybe there is some left over feelings that he has not sorted out yet. Have they been apart for a long time? I think you confront him about it and if he doesn't improve than yes, you should get out of that situation because you will just continue to get your heart broke.

Answer 7

Just hang in there with him and be prayerful.
Seems like you all are normal: having a hard time
with the fallout of a broken family - I can relate.
He feels guilty and bad that it didn't work: men see
that as FAILURE. Good news: that is the RIGHT
feeling. He sounds like a good guy and you sound
like a good woman. He'll come around just believe
that he will and believe that GOD is in there with you
all and on your side.
And remember: it is YOU who submits as a wife
wisely following his lead, but knowing that as HE
is the head, you are the neck, influencing the general
mood of your relationship and encouraging him to GROW
into the man he can be: your well-adjusted lover for life.

You'll make it girl!

Answer 8

I'd say he is over his xwife & misses his children. One question you've not mentioned is - is he in love with U - U with him?
If its yes - then hang in there, hold/help him - ride it out together. A man needs a woman and a true loves hard to find. You'll make it / make it together - and thats the bottom line.

Answer 9

This very common, you just need to try and mend his heart. Its hard to leave a Whole family behind and start a new knowing that your kids are still thier. Try to make a new family...TO make him forget. But if he can't, then i would say let him go. Or try to work it out.

Answer 10

If you love him enough to ride out the emotional roller coaster with him, then do just that,, you can't force him to be with you.
I know from experience, be there for him but I suggest you keep some emotional space of yourself while you do it, that was my mistake, giving my whole heart and world to him. I wound up feeling used in spite of good intentions.