my friend died last monday !!! could u help me ?

Question

she died last monday because she thought she was fat and went enerexic (i know i probly dint spell that word right) i knew she was starving her self and she told me if i was her friend i wouldnt tell !! well i dint tell and i knew it was getting bad and stuff and i told her i told some one wich i did because it got really bad she was so skinny !! and when i told her i told she sarted eating again because she new she would be in big trouble but i guesss she couldnt keep the food down and just passed away !! now i feel like i dint tell in time and i was the one who killed her how do i convence my self i dint i feel so bad

please put nice answers im almost crying write now

Answer 1

Omg I'm so sorry. I know how that feels.

Well lets think of it this way, even if you had told her, it would have already been too late. Not to mention do you really think she would have listened to you? I doubt it.

Don't blame yourself. There was nothing you could have done...it's a psychological disorder and to be honest her other friends and family should have noticed there was a problem too.

Don't take the weight of the world on your shoulders. It wasn't your fault.

This too shall pass. I hope I've helped you. I'm sorry for your loss.

Answer 2

Sweetie, it will be okay. Stop beating yourself up over your friend being dead. I know you are hurting, you miss her, and you wish that you would've said something but you did exactly what she wanted you to do. You kept a secret and that's what true friends do. I don't understand why the parents didn't notice even if you told them or not. When someone is doing that, you can tell if they look normal or not and nine times out of ten you can tell it. I want you to know that everything will be alright!!! You might not think so but it will. You are doing the right thing by talkin to someone about how you feel...continue doing that. I pray and hope that everything that is said to you really help you to cope and heal. It is hard losing a friend or love one for any reason. All I can possibly say to you is pray, seek counseling, and talk to your guardian too. (Whether that be your parents, grandmother, etc.) I wish you the best of luck and I hope your heart heals soon. Let me know your update, please!!!! There are still people in this world that cares and I'm one of them:) Hang in there.

Answer 3

Oh sweetie, you did not make the choices that led to your friend's death, she did. I am certain that you feel a responsibility for her death because you did not tell but she put you in a really bad position. You wanted to tell but you wanted to keep her confidence. Its not your fault. Trying to place blame now will not help you or anyone else. All you can do now is to learn from what happened to her. Don't let yourself fall into the same "fat trap" she did and if you see any of your other friends doing it, love them enough to tell... even if they get mad at you. In the end they will still be alive and they will understand. As for your friend, losing someone is so hard, especially a friend (my best friend died on my brithday eleven years ago. He had AIDS.) just try to remember the good times and know that, even though they are gone, they loved you and you are not to blame.

Answer 4

Sorry to hear that story and thanks for sharing. You are doing all you can, be a true friend. Guilt is a natural reaction. Her condition is a mental disorder and she probably needed professional attention many months (years) before her death. What she needed is way over your resources.
This is the reponsibility of her parents to provide health care.
Actually, you were lucky to make a connection with her. I'm sure there were major issues she had which you were not prepared for and she needed professional care. Only a handful of people in this world are able to save her.

For one thing she needed in-patient care with a feeding tube. Why wasn't she in the hospital?

Things like this happen and we like to think back, (hind sight), to solve this problem. I hope this helps you to be aware of the things people are going through.

Answer 5

listen, first and formost it is hard to reach someone who feels the way she might have, you prob felt that you were respecting her by not telling anyone, but that burdon of her passing shouldnt fall on your shoulders, always remember that life is crazy and it deals alot of blows to which things may go unanswered.
I believe that there is a reason for everything, and everything happens for a reason...she might not be here in the physical form, but she is still with you. cherish the time you did have with her, and know that no matter what, you both crossed paths for a reason, whether it was to teach you or even to pass a message on to others that might be experiencing the same as hers......always try to find a positive out of every negative regardless of how bad it is or might be and pass that message on to others and you might begin to feel better about her passing

Answer 6

You need to seek professional counseling. A teacher or pastor, and yes, your parents. Talk about it. Your friend was very determined not to eat. You were not the only one who knew. Her parents should have noticed something. Don't beat your self up. See what you can do to help others who might be doing the same thing to themselves. Honor and remember your friend that way.

Answer 7

I understand the discomfort (3 friends that i have huge-spread because that elem and center college previous away lately yet at diverse cases). in the starting up, it really is going to look like it really is her calling and also you're merely going to imagine of her and for all time you spent with one yet another. yet you even could relax. perchance listen on your in demand music or get your thoughts off of it in any relaxing way that you may quiet down. that's alright to grieve about this stuff yet you even could appreciate that you may't stay commonly used mourning her death as to it may reason severe melancholy and bring about the worst. The discomfort will decrease as daily passes and he or she will continuously be on your heart - always remember that!! i desire different individuals's advice may also help =)

Answer 8

Don't blame yourself! Sometimes things happen for a reason. I don't really know how to help you myself, hun, but I think you will get your BEST ANSWER from someone close to you like a parent or a good friend. You should always try to talk your problems out and eventually things should turn out just fine. But you have to learn that acceptance takes time.

Answer 9

you didnt kill her. she made her own desission on wether to starve or not. don't feel bad. i had a friend that was anerexic and she also couldn't keep the food down. she is now in a hospital and has been there for a really long time. almost 6 months. the doctors say that she might not make it out and that they would be surprised if she did.

Answer 10

I'm so sorry to hear that. I have an anorexic friend and it's really painful to watch her hurt her body. I have to remind myself that what she does with her body is her business; if she wants help she go looking for it. It's a painful time but be strong now you can be more helpful to the next girl you meet with such low self-esteem. It's OK to be sad; being sad doesn't mean you're guilty it just means you loved your friend.