SPANKING YOUR KIDS (OR Swatting them, whopping them with a belt, getting a switch from a tree, whatever form)?

Question

do you believe this to be effective in teaching kids today discipline?
Or is "Tough Love" a better form of instruction?

Answer 1

3 rules
1. ask them
2. tell them
3. make them

Answer 2

Although I spank my son sometimes when he's getting too unruly I still don't think this is the most efective way to discipline kids. I can only remember once in my childhood that my dad spanked us kids,, My dad would talk to us seriously in the dining table alone if we do something bad. He will make us explain the details of why and how until I don't feel talking about it anymore. This has made me realize that if I would do bad then I would get a "round table conference" again. This kind of disciplining has really inculcated in my mind up to now.

Answer 3

well I have a 5 year old and believe me I have swatted and popped his butt a few times. I have studied some child psychology a few years back and I try to use some of the tactics I learn there.
I personally believe it depends on the child and situation.
Is the child wanting attention so much he/she does something to get it even though it's negative attention. Does the child possibly have a behavior problem, sometimes they are more rowdy so spanking would not be a good form of punishment.
I have learned taking my sons trains or computer games away and making him earn them back works great. Because he covets both, and to take them away is worse than any whopping.

I don't believe in beating your kids or more than a pop because it seems to satisfy the anger in the parent than it does teach a child a lesson. So sometimes the less violent punishment is best.

Answer 4

"Tough love" is a type of discipline that would only apply to older children (teenagers and above) who are engaging in seriously bad and dangerous behavior (heavy drugs, selling drugs, extreme truancy, theft, assault). The tough love means that you dish out the adult consequences that the serious bad behavior would get if they were an adult. Such as, kicking them out of your house, turning them over to the police, cutting off all financial support, refusing to let them drive your cars, etc.

The spanking, swatting, whopping discipline is usually administered to younger than teens. I guess it's because a teenager is large enough to turn around and beat you up. As a society we're generally beyond this type of barbaric discipline. Generally most children do not really benefit from being hit. Gentler discipline such as grounding, time out, and gentle separation from the family (5 minutes) in a separate room can be done without anger and quite effectively teach the lesson.

Answer 5

there is no school like the old school, unfortunately, people forgot the rules of engagement and it did degrade into abuse, but kids are far not better off today because they are not disciplined at all and parents are miserable failures at preparing their children for their own futures...teachers cannot teach, there is nothing important or any sense of a higher social responsibility regarding actions or comportment instilled in children...because we all thought the beatings our parents gave us was wrong...waahhh...

many things too are linear, not circular in the ways of mankind..we have way crossed the line of what was good in the "good ole days"..they must be a marker and and example but not the pattern now...we do need new patterns of behavior, because as a world, we have all well yes, evolved socially, from the past (not necessarily in the better ways...so then, what can we do to make this better and why haven't we?)

Answer 6

We got spanked (more of a swat) and we turned out okay. Too many childs rights and human whatever groups want to get involved in parenting when it's the parents responsibility. They get into everyone's business.
They should be involved if it's regarding an abuse case but as far as discipline they should stay out of it.

Answer 7

I spank my toddler, if he doesn't get his act together by the count of three he gets a hand across the behind, i only ever have to spank him one out of every 20 three counts, tough love for my adolescent... spanking him stopped working at around age 10, he is a good kid & I hardly ever have to use it, but tough love is pretty darn effective...so is spanking for the toddler (3yrs old) works really well, keeps him out of trouble and that 3 count sure gets his attention QUICK!

Answer 8

Mild forms of corporal punishment are fine.
When my sixteen year old did something really foolish with a car, I actually paddled him.

He is now 22 and tells me it was the best thing I ever did for him.
And it did change his attitude.

He had probably only been spanked once or twice in his life, but when he formally got punished with a paddle, it sent a message.

Answer 9

To me I don't really think that spanking your child is effective if you're trying to discipline them because your kids may get angrier and they won't stop doing bad things or they're bad habits will get worse. If you haven't already, try talking to them about why they do the things that they do. In my opinion tough love is a better form of instruction because it teaches them why or why not to do the things they do and they are more likely to not do those things again than if you just spank them.

Answer 10

First, anything used other than your hand is abuse, pure and simple. That is guidelines in most states in the US. Secondly, most studies bear out it doesn't work well. If it worked you wouldn't have to keep doing it. There are other forms of punishment that work much better but they take 'work' and 'commitment', you have to stick with them. Basically all hitting a kid teaches is if you're bigger or the parent it's OK to hit. If it worked SO well adults should be allowed to do it to other adults instead of being charged with assault and battery. If it improves discipline why can't bosses and other people in power use it? Obviously it doesn't work well. As for that biblical verse and using it as justification, 'rod' was a unit of measure, not an instrument.

Answer 11

Depending on the Action of your child. If your putting johnny in the corner for the12th time and he still won't learn. well i think it's time to move the discipline up a level. I did not die from a spanking i learned not to do what was wrong. when words fail, cornersand time outs fail, them sometimes firm discipline is needed. Don't get me wrong, beating a child deserves jail time to the full extent of the law.
To many times we let society tell us how to raise our kids. Now law tells us if you spank, well DCYF Or DYS can take them and you go to jail. But if left unchecked and your child hurts someone or damages property you lose your child and go to jail for negligent in lack of discipline. we as parents have our hands tied.
All it takes is a phone call from our kids to get state involed in our lives whether we did anything or not. To much power in the wrong hands makes chaos.
We need to go back to when we had communities wroking together for the better.what happened to it take a village to raise a child? ......Messenger