2006-06-15 01:59:47 · 16 answers · asked by watdhell_2287 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NO! If it is ONLY for the children it will not work. In fact, the children will suffer more - they will sense the problems with the "rocky" marriage and it will create even more trauma for them
2006-06-15 02:03:45 · answer #1 · answered by MS L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What kind of hurt do you think that will cause the kids when it dosen't work again. No I don't think so. My parents tried several times for the sake of the children and everytime it would change for a month then it would be the same old ****. When the children grow up & are gone all you have is each other, make sure the feelings are still there before you go back for the sake of the kids. Remember you teach them how to love and if they grow up to live in a loveless marriage then they will think that's what they should settle for. By thinking you are helping them you may be hurting them
2006-06-15 09:43:25 · answer #2 · answered by boredgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I applaud your effort for the child's sake. However, it will only make it harder on the child when you decide to leave again. It takes 2 complete people to make a marriage work. Not children. I disagree with anyone telling a person to stay in a marriage for the sake of the children. Parenting is the key to the success of a child. Just be the best parent that you can be. Move on with your life
Hang in there
2006-06-15 10:06:22 · answer #3 · answered by crystal l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with most of the posts. If there is any kind of abuse in the relationship then this is not the ideal situation to be in with kids. I have been in this situation and it is not good for children to hear fighting all the time or see physical abuse going on. If abuse is the case, then by all means, it is time to leave and if he loves you like a marriage is supposed to be based on, then he shouldn't be abusing you to begin with. I have stayed in an abusive relationship because of this and many more reasons, and it has a lasting effect on the children to witness this kind of behavior. If there is no abuse involved and both of you are willing to go to counselling then by all means, that would be the ideal option. Even if you are not together, the kids will be fine. It will be rough on them at first, but show them love and understanding. If they are old enough, sit them down and explain to them that sometimes two adults just can't be together and are better as just friends but that you both still love them the same. Also let them know that your breakup isn't their fault. Children sometimes have idea that it is their fault for the breakup. Stress to them that this is not the case. Good luck to both of you and hopefully it works out well either way.
2006-06-15 09:26:56 · answer #4 · answered by °o.O ìVîLΧH_ÅÑGËL O.o° 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not if that is your only reason to go back. Trust me it never works (this is experience talking...did that exact thing). If it is all onesided you will only get hurt more and it isn't healthly for our child to see and hear you fighting all the time. If it has to end try and do it on friendly terms, so that you can both still talk about your child and show him/her that you both love him/her. Me and my ex are better friends now than when we where married, we both care for the kids and they are happy teenagers. Remeber young children copy their perants, what they see at home is the most normal thing to them, this can have a bad effect on them in their future relationships if they grew up see you fighting all the time. Think long and hard, talk with your partner(if you can) and make sure of your desicion ......... it effects the child as well. Good luck
2006-06-15 09:13:44 · answer #5 · answered by sin27 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! Who are you kidding? Do you think the kid isn't aware of what is going on? If you go back, your child will grow up to beleive your marriage is a normal one. How would you feel later when your kid gets married and lives as unhappily as you are? Not a wise choice my dear.
2006-06-15 09:05:54 · answer #6 · answered by Firefighter EMT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the circumstances.
It depends if you are both committed to counseling to adjust and learn of what happened .
Do you still love each other?
How old is the child. You shouldn't be miserable for 16 years (assuming 2 yrs old) just to have a "family" unity.
2006-06-15 09:04:30 · answer #7 · answered by Robert Miller 95670 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what were the reasons you left ur spouse? if it's because he hits you or physicall or mantally abuses you then don't. or for whatever reason that is, as long as it can still be solved, or has bigger chances of getting it solved then go.
as for the kids, i know a lot of kids who grew up in a broken family but are still good at their chosen fields..it's u[p to you to explain to your kids about the situation you and your spouse are into. but then again, always shower your kids with love,care and attention.they need it more than you do.
2006-06-15 09:06:39 · answer #8 · answered by warrior is a child 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't do it for the kids...Do it for yourself,dont use the kids as a excuse..They are the one who suffer, you may not see it..But like my kids, they told me it was the best thing that I could have done, was get divorced..because they tired of seeing the fighting,aruging about the little things...
2006-06-15 09:26:40 · answer #9 · answered by wildleo129 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i was in the same boat, i thought my son needed a father so i stayed, but it didn't work out we are now divorced for ten yrs, now my son is having problems with his marriage, the same as we did, if there is abuse, verb. phys. mental, stay away, i'm speaking from 22yrs. experience.
2006-06-15 10:06:34 · answer #10 · answered by Lady J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋