How can I make my boyfrind understand that things he sometimes says are unacceptable.
2006-06-15 01:20:31 · 13 answers · asked by adrienne r 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You just need to correct him, and right then. Don't let it fester, don't let it marinate. If he knows that you are going to correct him every time, he will stop saying stupid stuff. My husband and I had that same problem once. I started calling him on it every time he said something and now he thinks before he speaks. He thinks about possibly getting out in front of a crowd of people and saying something stupid and getting corrected. I never correct him in front of people, but i will politely as him to step over to the side or somewhere away from the group at that very instance and say, "I didn't appreciate what you said just now", and name what it was. Then let him know if he can't be more appropriate, to take you home, or if you are home ask him to leave your home. If you live together, say what you must and then walk out of the room, give him time to think about it. Don't yell and be all in his face. Ask him to give you the same respect that you give him. You do show him respect, don't you.
It's all a matter of respect!
Clarissa
Sylva, NC
2006-06-15 01:32:39 · answer #1 · answered by mrschloerichardson 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tape or video record him and play it back.
If he truly cares about you, that will stab him
and he'll recognize how he is sounding to you.
Sounds like he is a controlling person.
If you have told him that his words bother you and he
hasn't stopped then it may be time for you to try the old
"you can't change anyone but yourself" argument.
It takes two people to argue or stir conflict no matter
how small, so don't respond when he speaks
to you disrespectfully. Some people think it is their
job to FIX everyone and everything but themselves.
Best wishes to you. Dysfunction like this is defeatable. I
know:
2006-06-15 01:39:17 · answer #2 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't what sort of things he is saying or to who but here are some things you can do:
1. If he says things in public that embarress you, let him know gently that was kinda weird and ask him why he would say something like that.
2. If he is saying things to you about you, then tell him to quite it because you deserve to be respected.
3. If he says things about you in public, tell him to get screwed and leave.
2006-06-15 01:24:31 · answer #3 · answered by Doodlebug 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him so. If he doesn't stop, when he says something unacceptable again, completely ignore him or something to sort of "punish" him for what he's done. Or just leave the room or something.
2006-06-15 01:26:38 · answer #4 · answered by goshimwaycool 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him. If he really likes you and is truly your boyfriend he will understand. I'm sure he doesn't realize what he is saying is unacceptable to you.
2006-06-15 01:24:15 · answer #5 · answered by Jason 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's a good question, I have the same problem. mine gets mad when hes doing maintenance work at our apt. complex and starts in with me. he says terrible things to me then latter he at least says "sorry" but it don't really help my feelings. I always try to tell him that he can't talk to me that way and think that saying sorry makes it better, BUT HE'S A GUY AND THEY WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND, so I say to you, give up. they just don't get anything.
2006-06-15 01:33:53 · answer #6 · answered by NS42day 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume you've just said so and he doesn't get it? If not that is where you would start, just tell him and explain yourself. If you've told him and he don't care, dump him, it won't get better. If you told him, he gets it but does it anyway because he doesn't think. You may have to train him in what is acceptable and what is not. If he still don't change, change yourself. Love his goofy side too or dump him. Don't be a nag.
2006-06-15 01:28:54 · answer #7 · answered by Love is the principle thing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show him the door and tell him you don't have to put up with that and you're not going to. He might get by with saying those things to other people but not you.
2006-06-15 01:27:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is saying things just to hurt you then you need to go get yourself a new boyfriend. and if he just isn't thinking before he says certain things the you need to let him know how he makes you feel. if it is him just wanting to hurt you, remember, you deserve happiness. no one should ever make another person feel bad about themselves.
2006-06-15 01:33:54 · answer #9 · answered by calgal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication communication he wont know if you dont tell him and then he should respect your feelings re the matter. If he keeps doing it then time to go
2006-06-15 01:27:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋