My husband had an affair last year & I cant get it out of my head. is this normal?

Answer 1

it's like a jigsaw puzzle where you haven't finished the picture, except that putting all the pieces back in the box is harder than completing the picture.
you have to finish it, no matter how long it takes.
what that means is that you have to sort through every part of the problem and reach an answer.
find a picture that lets you stay in the marriage or one that lets you leave.

Answer 2

Very sorry about it. In fact ONLY you know how much it hurts.
Something to note here is when you love somebody and in this case your husband/wife, know they are on the " inside of you". As such when they do something misplaced, it will hurt much more than when one is doing it from outside;or from another person.
Love is the strongest of the human emotions when touched the damage is major. So it's normal for you to feel such.Diagnosis of a problem is however not enough, a cure/solution ought to be worked at.
First accept there is a problem and trust has been betrayed. Instead of weighing you down use it as a platform to lift you higher. This requires the will power as it has it's pains.
In your question, you did not state if that was the first time or if he has been having such tendencies. (Without sounding supportive for him in any way) may I say men have a likelihood of straying if things at home seem unwelcoming (that doesn't justify their straying however).Ruling out an eventuality try to establish what could have resulted in such a thing. An affair is not a one stop/random thing, it develops over time;the results are fatal. You may not fully forget, but the healing can be effected in such a way that, though you remember, it'll not be hurting.
Caution should however be taken that a repeat of it doesn't follow. among other things, please check if there be a loop hole. Hope this helps.Thanks

Answer 3

Darling,its not easy to get over this problem.I personally believe this is the biggest hurt a man can cause for the women.I know what you going through,You have to be strong,build the trust back its not easy,I hope your husband do everything he can to help you to heal the marriage and build the trust .If he really love you,(well he should not cheat on you in the first time )but if he really sorry what he did and want you to stay with him ,you give the second chance to him.But it will takes year to heal the pain.Yes this is normal,its not something you can just get over it.But if its still hurt very much and you think you cant trust him ever again,well try some marriage cancelling,if nothing help maybe you better off with out him.If you have children,than for they sake you must work it through.God bless you and wish you a very happy,joy full marriage.

Answer 4

It's very normal to keep going back to 'by-gones' especially when they have to do with intimacy. Once a partner cheats, we cannot brush it away with a simple act of forgiveness. Just like a wound leaves a scar once healed, your brain cannot shut out the memories regarding that affair- after all, I assume you love him, and so how can your brain then forget an affair that occurred only last year? I am currently dealing with a similar issue and haven't figured out my next step. I guess all I can say is 'all the best!'

Answer 5

Yes is normal and it will take a long time to heal and to regain trust in him! Just thank God that a baby wasnt born to them during the affair! It happened to me and it made it very hard to forgive him and I lost all trust in him and when he leaves the house I start thinking he's on his cell phone with her and when he's gone for hours I start thinking shes meeting him at the park or some where! And this is destroying my marriage I already went to get the Divorce papers and he knows I have them and when I get to that point I just cant take it no more I filling them!!!

Answer 6

Very normal, but it can become an obsession. If you're constantly thinking about, worrying what he's doing as soon as he leaves your sight, then you're probably not dealing with the parts of your life on which you should be concentrating. Your trust in him has been broken, and it's not something that just re-appears. You should probably find a good counselor because there are things in the relationship which obviously need work.

Good luck!

Answer 7

It takes years. Mine had an affair 10 years ago. I have never trusted him since. Took a few years for me to get over it but I still bring it up in arguements and we're having problems again now. I can't let it go im afraid.

Answer 8

Perfectly normal. It has changed the way your relationship will be forever.
That you decided to stay with him after finding out is surprizing. Were it me in your place I would be long gone, and, I would not be fretting over the fact he had an affair either, he would have been forgotten.

Answer 9

Perfectly normal!

But you do need to deal with it and talk it out with him even if it means going over the same questions over and over until your satisfied with the answers he gives you. This will not be easy so just take your time and go with your feelings. Maybe a bit of time out space may help the situation too. But remember don't ever compromise yourself and feel second place in his life or then you will really be in trouble.

Good luck!!

Answer 10

It is normal i have just found out that my partner has had an affair, and i totally understand i cant get the pics out my head wondering what she was like and what he liked about her was she better in bed than me everything drives you mad but what we have to remenber is that they stayed with us they didnt leave us for them.

I feel for you i know just how you feel how hurt and betrayed you are if you need to talk feel free to mail i know how much it hurts x