girls always want to date me and it sucks because it just makes me depressed. i consider myself non flamboyant but obviously gay yet i get hit on by ten girls for every one man. it's seriously depressing! what am i doing wrong???
2006-06-14 21:33:56 · 17 answers · asked by freudian~slip 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Well you probably have one of a couple problems.
1) sampling problems. Where are you trying to find dates? Are you going places where openly gay people congregate? Because you're not just going to have the perfect gay guy drop out of the sky.
2) are you openly gay? I mean really openly gay. Because once it is common knowledge that you are gay, then most women will stop hitting on you.
3) are you a loser? That sounds harsh, but I'm serious. It is so critically important, in my opinion, for a guy to come to the point where he is happy with himself and his life and is secure and confident in who he is BEFORE he tries to get into a relationship. If he enters a relationship without being confident and secure, then he is only going to dump his problems, his insecurities, and his self pity on the person he tries to end up with. I believe that it is self-pity, lack of self-esteem and lack of self-respect that people find unattractive and hence make some people unable to get dates
2006-06-15 04:13:13 · answer #1 · answered by dani_kin 6 · 7⤊ 3⤋
Yes girls are going to want to date you because you are safe and comfortable. It's just comes to the territory. Obviously gay doesn't work on most people (especially desperate females). Unless they have Gay-dar, it doesn't help.
Where are you going to meet guys? Are you putting off an air that you are already with someone? How involved with the community are you?
Wherever you are there's a gay community. Do you know who's in it? Do they know you are gay too? I'm not saying you need to pass out leaflets or go to protests, but find out who's in it. Find out where they hang out. Once you are a bit more in the loop it may be easier to find a date.
I know when my gay guy friend get frustrated with the dating pool (which happens alot) they all tend to turn on-line. Which gives one lots of options, (if you can stay away from the dodgy blokes). A couple of my friends have had real successes with it.
Good Luck, Cheers
2006-06-15 06:01:09 · answer #2 · answered by Margarette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not necessarily doing anything wrong at all. It't human nature to want what we can't have so if these girls know or think you're gay then you may appear sexier to them. I'm the same way with straight guys, I might know that I can't have them but that just makes me want them even more sometime. You obviously wouldn't have the same effect on gay men since you are obtainable, again just on first impressions I'm not usually as attracted to gay men as straight. Don't beat yourself up . . . just take a deep breath muster your confidence up and go out. Look at it this way you're not going out meeting people for all the guys that don't want you, but for the one that does if that makes any sense.
2006-06-15 08:48:39 · answer #3 · answered by sooziebeaker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your not as "obviously" gay as you thought. You can't always rush into a relationship just because you want to be with someone, but maybe you should put yourself out there a little more, put some personals out, even ones asking just for friends, hang at some gay clubs, or find some gay friends / aquaintances to introduce you to their circles.
2006-06-15 04:45:20 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. FairyLove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should be a bit flamboyant not too much just a bit. Also see about going to a gay bar or gay social gathering.
2006-06-15 04:37:05 · answer #5 · answered by gwad_is_a_myth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you should spend more time with gay pals and go to places where other gay men are. Stay away from straight clubs because it's east for a straight woman to assume you are straight and hit on you.
2006-06-15 05:42:03 · answer #6 · answered by AnthonyPaul 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find some like minded gay to keep the girls away.
2006-06-15 04:39:59 · answer #7 · answered by vijay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you be "obviously gay" if women are hitting on you? Rethink whether or not your perception of your image is accurate, and if you want to be sure that women get the message right away, it shouldn't be too difficult.
2006-06-15 04:38:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol, if you are gay - no wonder girls love to date you. They don't find you threatning cause you probably don't demand anything from them.
If you want to date other men, you must seek them out and be more active for yourself.
People only see what they expect to see, you know.
2006-06-15 04:35:24 · answer #9 · answered by Tones 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I guess if you don't look gay, gay men won't hit on you. Go to gay bars maybe, or gay clubs so your orientation is more obvious.
2006-06-15 04:35:58 · answer #10 · answered by bobo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋