Should pathological liars be confronted?

Question

An associate of mine lies constantly. Even when it dosen't serve him to lie. I feel that if I confront him about it he'll explode - but I can't stand to keep letting him manipulate people based on his lies.

When I say explode - he is 'wound very tight' so to speak and whenever slightly challanged on his outlandish web of lies, he gets edgy and talks constantly so no one can get a word in edgewise. I've watched him cycle through friends over the past year. As soon as they realize that he's a liar they stop comming around. I do believe that his is a developed mental illness. It makes is extremely difficult to work with him. Sometimes I think I should just cut my losses - but I do work with him and he is good at what he does.

Answer 1

there's absolutely no point on confronting him because he'll just lie about it, that's what they do, in stead try letting everyone around him know that he is a pathological lier that way whenever he says whatever he wants to say they'll know what to do...

Answer 2

Confronting A Liar

Answer 3

I dated a guy who was a pathological liar. I'd known him for five years before we dated, and I found out that everything he'd told me about himself and his life was a lie. He turned out to be the kind of person who would lie to you if you asked him the time of day. I don't think he could help it anymore - he'd just become so wrapped up in the false life he'd made for himself.

When I figured it all out, I did confront him. I didn't make a big scene about it. I just told him that I knew he was lying (along with a few other choice words).
My advice is to tell other people, discreetly, the truth about what he says. Or to try to catch him in his lies.

Good luck. I know what a difficult situation this is.

Answer 4

He will explode, but he needs to be confronted, think of it as an intervention. My old friend was a pathological liar. I've known her since sixth grade. She used to lie about everything. One time in particular she lied to everyone about having some boyfriend named Jake. She even went as far as cutting out a magazine picture, putting it on her binder, and telling us that it was a picture of her boyfriend. That time wasn't so bad. Normall it was just stupid and made her look like an idiot, but there comes a certain point where it's gonna hurt someone in one way or another, or just cause harm in general, so you should definitely consider confronting him, just be careful how you go about it or you'll accomplish nothing.

Answer 5

I wouldnt say confronted, but one must face up to them. When someone is a habitual liar either to you or to someone close to you, the lies cannot be ignored. Confrontation almost always turns out bad, so if it can be avoided, do so. That doesnt mean continue to take the lies. If a person is a liar avoid contact with him/her. When they lie, let them know you know it. It can be as easy as saying "yeah right", or "whatever". You can smile when saying it, but look the person in the eye and let them know he's a friggin liar.

Personally, I think there is nothing lower than a liar, except maybe a thief. I don't hang around liars.

Answer 6

You need a witness when you confront this person. And when you do, please let it be something that has been conjured by him.

In other words don't set him up for failure. He seems to have a problem, and you seem sincere about your confrontation. Always give people the benefit of doubt when they are sinking themselves.

If he's manipulating people with his lies, that means they're aware of his problem as well. Find someone who will be as sincere and as kind as you are and take him aside.

Do not let him out of the lie that you catch him in, and don't let him manuever the conversation. Stay at the helm and control the flow of the communication, but be civil not rude.

Make sure you have direct eye contact and no chance of interruptions.

Good luck.

Answer 7

the issue should be addressed, but cautiously and compassionately. If he is a pathological liar, it could have psychological implications of his mental well being. If you find his story contradicts what he told someone else, let him know that you are aware of what he said to someone else and that both versions of the story can't possibly be true. He may have a good explanation, you may have misunderstood/ misheard him/ he may actually need to speak to a therapist. Many people go to therapy with this particular problem, pathological lying is a symptom of a greater psychological issue that needs to be worked out. Good Luck.

Answer 8

We know a pathological liar and she lies several times a day and even makes up stuff. We confront her all the time but it does not faze her at all. She will just stare at you for a minute, then just go on lying as if nothing happened. She will not (explode)!

Answer 9

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RE:
Should pathological liars be confronted?
An associate of mine lies constantly. Even when it dosen't serve him to lie. I feel that if I confront him about it he'll explode - but I can't stand to keep letting him manipulate people based on his lies.

Answer 10

I don't understand why everyone feels the need to "confront" other people. This smacks of arrogance and condescension to me. You have made a clinical diagnosis of this person and are now will to "confront" (re: attack) this person based on your diagnosis.

Unless this person's lies (assuming that they are lying) are dangerous to other people you should just stay out of it. You are not the moral police and really you have no right to go around and tell other people what to think and say. You will only cause problems that you won't be prepared to handle.

BTW, why do you feel like you are going to explode because of the actions of another person? Just ignore them. Get a hobby.

Answer 11

I know the kind you are talking about. But it is useless confronting him. I have known people who lie and when confronted they just come up with more lies to cover the lies they've already told. They end up trapping themselves in a web of lies because they dont want to own up to it so they keep lying and lying to cover their a$$. Or they just close up and say, 'I'm not talking to you' or something pathetic like that. I guess if you have to work with him, you just have to try to not let his lies get to you, as long as it doesnt interfere with work.