i cheated on my man when i was pregnant with our first kid. my man didn't care about anyone but his friends he didn't care about me.his kid nothing,i felt very alone so i did sopmething stupid,well we got over that and then he went to jail for15 months and i cheated again i told him right off and he still decided to get back with me that has been over a year ago, i feel really bad about it, but now he says he wants to split up for a while b/c i had a chance to explore and he hasn't but he new i cheated and he still took me back. what should i do?
2006-06-14 18:05:46 · 25 answers · asked by mother of 4 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let him go. Whether you let him go or not he is more than likely to go "explore" other options. It will be better for you if you are unattached while he does this.
If he really cares for you, honestly, he will come back to you. He apparently loves you. You are married with 4 kids and he has taken you back after the mistakes you have made. Just give him his time.
~Gypsy~
2006-06-14 18:09:28 · answer #1 · answered by Gypsy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you said, you cheated on your husband twice and each time you has a reason. There will always be reasons to cheat. Will you always give in to them? It hurts very much when someone you love makes you feel like they don't care about you. However, you have to make a decision to do what you know is right no matter what he does. You have to be confident and sure of your self. Your husband has told you that he wants to split up for a while so he can explore. I think it is good that he is telling you, However he may have already cheated (he is a man and you were with someone) Men can't take it when there ladies has been with someone else. Talk it out with him, let him know your feelings- if he wants to leave he will. maybe he really hasn't forgiven you. Change what you can within your self and things will fall into place. Remember for every action there is a reaction.
2006-06-15 01:56:45 · answer #2 · answered by candlelight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been the one cheated on and at times I feel that I should cheat on him or if an opportunity to cheat came,I would have every right to go for it because he did. I know that it's wrong to think that way, but I'm hurt and I want to show him how it feels. Again,it's the saying about two wrongs...
Your right,he did take you back on is own free will,so this is my thought: He never really got over what you did and never truly forgave you OR he now wants his freedom and is using your past to make it,"ok" for him to,"explore."
Talk it out,and basically,the ball is in his court.Once he decides what he wants to do,take it from there. Best of luck.
2006-06-15 02:49:51 · answer #3 · answered by gucciandlouis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go, and when you speak of him to the children always say something kind about him. He will probably come and take the children out. You should be cooperative. There are things you will learn from all this experience that you need before you can ever be in a really loving marriage relationship. This husband cannot possibly feel appreciated; it is inevitable he should go his way but because of the kids you will remain in eadh other's lives so be kind. Don't take dad away from the kids, or the kids away from dad. You married too young already. Don't complicate things by rushing into another marriage.
2006-06-15 01:18:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
from my experience with the spouse being incarcerated they feel that they have missed out on life and you got to roam at free will but if they would really look into it they shouldnt have done something to get put away and leave ua for so long, im not saying that its right that you cheated but i know how it feels to be lonely when their gone and you feel you need some kind of attention, hell just to be held. Atleast you were woman enough to tell him the truth and if he feels that he needs to roam cause you got to then i would have to tell him this is the way it is ," you leave me again dont think theres not someone else out there that will love me someday and i will get over the pain that you keep causing me, so if you need to go then go but dont turn back cause the door will stay closed. ...... I wish you the best! Dont let him make you fell weak keep your strength cause remeber one thing you have them precious children and they will give you lots of love.
2006-06-15 01:14:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes!all the above would cause one to turn to another for that inner which they aren,t receiveing!Yes! indeed very stupid(cheating)there are things such as a finger,dildoe,vibrator!just sayin!then you did it againe!WoW!!You couldn,t hold out for 15months?then you confess!1year ago!came back!now he has flip the script saying to you he wants to explore the horizons?with him knowing this,cool at least you are honest!but he hasn,t?now he wants too?Girl!sometimes it,s hard to swallow or own ****!when we make mistakes in our life!As this man who really do love you no doubt!was a real man for you and ya,lls kids returning back,let him go,don,t be ignorant and try to fuss are talk crazy with him,let him know you understand how he felt when you did that!and if he decides to go out there too,doing the same thing,his heart will tell it all,if he loves ya,ll like you say he do!he will return and possibilities for a better,his way of all the yaers of knowing F***!that i,m gonna do something about it!that,s the devil working hun!that point!something got between you two!that messed up yo happy home ever allow that to happen now look what you have to go through!more drauma?but be a woman and swallow it all,let him go ,then too he may not get envolved with another?just being a man!and when comes back he will sit and talk to you about it!let him go!
2006-06-15 01:27:11 · answer #6 · answered by sheena s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband feel that he has something from you that he won'nt have in someone else and he made you believe that does not matter what you do he will be there with you, my advice is to be careful, because he will be back on you. He need you now, but he might be thinking how to get the revenge and you never know how he will react when he does not need you.
2006-06-15 01:14:01 · answer #7 · answered by flowermieses@verizon.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he may be searching for your "blessing" to go out and play the market, have some "fun", and then come back home. Have you had a good heart to heart with him to see if that is all he wants? Maybe it is his way of wanting to split up for good. I think you have been very honest with him, and you should ask him to be honest with you and tell you exactly why.
2006-06-15 01:09:59 · answer #8 · answered by ba_tche 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with oaklandkc1.
You never thought twice about cheating on him, more than once, why should he stay with you now?? Obviously he can't get over the fact that you've cheated on him repeatedly, and you don't really deserve for him to stay with you. Let him go. He deserves better.
2006-06-15 01:25:02 · answer #9 · answered by smurfette_au2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him exactly how you feel about his leaving, but also tell him you understand why he feels the way he does. Things happen for a reason, and if BOTH of you dont want to be together, nothing will keep you together. Good Luck
2006-06-15 01:17:01 · answer #10 · answered by greenyeti06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋