Melissa is Catholic & I'm a disassociated Jehovah's Witness. I still firmly believe in my faith, but my family is giving me the 3rd degree. Melissa wants a Catholic wedding and my family will not attend unless its throu Justice of the Peace. Even then, only 2 members of my family will come. My father is not. On her side 70 people may show. (mostly family from Trinidad). I explained this to her and she still insisted on a Catholic wedding. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
2006-06-14 16:44:49 · 11 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It seems strange that you claim to believe in your faith, yet you seem to have chosen to disassociate yourself from it. Generally, "disassociation" means that a Jehovah's Witness has written a letter formally renouncing his identification as a Witness. Perhaps you became disassociated by joining the military, however. Perhaps you still recognize that Jehovah's Witness practice true Christianity, and you hope someday to become reinstated as a Witness. That is a commendable goal, but you should be working in harmony with that goal even now while you are separated from the organization.
My brother, it seems to be crossing a huge line to willingly participate in a false religious service performed by a "man of lawlessness" in a Babylonish stronghold. Please reject that idea.
I strongly recommend that you insist upon a civil service; you can blame your family if it's easier than discussing your real reasons and eventual plans with your Catholic fiance. Remind her that you would never force her to get married at a Kingdom Hall or even to set foot in a Kingdom Hall. Really, a civil service is the compromise between you two.
Tell her frankly that the idea of the Catholic ceremony gives you the heeby-jeebies (doesn't it?) and you honestly couldn't guarantee that you wouldn't pull out of a church service at the last minute, something you're sure wouldn't happen with a civil service.
Jehovah's Witnesses do want you back in the truth, and you and I both know that if your fiance is a godly person she will certainly recognize the truth of Jehovah's Witness teachings someday. Years from now, when you are both active members of a JW congregation, how will she feel that you permitted a church wedding?
2006-06-14 19:39:12 · answer #1 · answered by achtung_heiss 7 · 1⤊ 6⤋
You're lucky not to have been stuck between two hard rocks which would make you decide whether to marry her or give her up for your faith. At least, it's just a problem between you and your would-be wife at so what church you should get married.
I believe that if you really want the marriage to materialize, you have to give in to what she insists about. That way, there will be no feeling of resentment against your attitude coming from her family members and friends. On the other hand, even if some of your family members will not attend your wedding ceremony, at least you are assured, that they have not asked you to call off the wedding and your engagement with her. Thye just won't attend but they did not ask you not to marry her.
At the end, for as long as your relationship with your wife is at its best, having her to be a responsible wife and daughter-in-law for your parents, this present problem will no longer have a bearing on the kind of relationship that will exist among you.
Happy marriages, after all, are not based on the places where the wedding ceremonies were held. Love and support are the bases for love to survive and that's what you should be more concerned about. Congratulations in advance and all the best for both of you!
2006-06-15 00:01:06 · answer #2 · answered by Ruzzo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A Catholic wedding? If you are not a Catholic, then going through with the ceremony is just spending about an hour inside a church and play the part. Catholics believe (as your fiancee should have told you) that getting married means receiving the grace of God thru the sacrament of marriage. If your fiancee knows that you do not believe this and still wants to make you go thru the ceremony, she may end up with an invalid wedding!!
She needs to talk to a priest about this, and you need to figure out if you really love this woman and if she really loves you.
The problems with your family seem related to her being Catholic (you mentioned that even a justice of the peace wedding would not be attended by your family) so you need to find a middle ground with them. If you love your fiancee, you will need to explain this to your family,
2006-06-14 23:55:50 · answer #3 · answered by Erick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always follow love...and remember that minds are like parachutes; they only function when open.
As for the wedding, you have a number of options you may not have considered.
You could have a civil ceremony with the two members of your family present as witnesses, then a Catholic religious ceremony with her family.
You could participate in the Catholic wedding your love wants so much and allow her family to celebrate your union, and then ask your family to spend a weekend with you after the wedding, telling them that your bride would appreciate having the opportunity to hear family stories from them and learn family recipes from them.
You could have a private, Catholic wedding ceremony, but not tell anybody in either family that your marriage had taken place in a church, and you could invite both families to either a wedding reception (the next day), or if your family is against receptions, call it a "meet-and-greet" in which members of both families can have a chance to meet one another.
You could even surprise your family (even when confronted with unpleasant surprises, most families will try to be polite in front of strangers) by asking them to meet you at a certain address, then taking them to the wedding, or taking them to a park where her family is assembled and having a Catholic priest marry you outside. (This strategy already worked for two friends of mine, when one set of parents were against the marriage)
2006-06-14 23:57:58 · answer #4 · answered by Elspeth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make the wedding as simple as possible and have a second ceremony more to ;your families liking and also as simple as possible. If she will not agree to this then it is time to wait and really get to know just where you stand. Is she going to tell you what to do for the rest of your life. Marriage has to be a compromise or it will not last.
2006-06-15 00:29:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey everyone is the same in the eyes of God, If you really love her and she really loves you then she will be willing to comprimise and if your family loves you then they would be happy cause your happy, you dont need to do something cause someone told you to, you was born with your own mind and no one should be stubborn when it comes to your life cause honey it is your life and no one elses, you do what makes you happy.
2006-06-14 23:59:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I couldn't marry someone who had opposite beliefs than me. The wedding is only the beginning of the struggle between your family and hers... between your beliefs and hers.
Best of luck to you both.
2006-06-14 23:50:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to find fullfillment in the One and Only true person you'll ever find in this world and that's Jesus.
You need to pick up a bible for yourself(not your new world(changed)translation and learn that Jesus is the Son of God and He is the only one who can fullfill you. regardless of what you've been peddling to others ,this is the truth.
I dare you to believe
2006-06-14 23:53:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it causes this much trouble now --- just think of all the problems that'll come later on --- find someone who is of the same faith as you.
2006-06-14 23:51:50 · answer #9 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
follow your heart on this matter ?
2006-06-15 00:09:28 · answer #10 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋