My husband has been ill with cancer for 2 going on 3 years and I have not had sex in all this time! I love my hubby but he is not able to accommodate me at this time. I never dreamed that I would be in this situation. What should I do? I've already tried masterbating.
2006-06-14 15:36:51 · 46 answers · asked by Oracle 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I should also tell you that there is someone that I am attracted to who has been trying to put the moves on me but so far I have been resisting. This guy is definately all man and sexy as hell. He definately fits the description of tall, dark and handsome. He a little on the rugged side, but, that's how I like em. He reminds me of my husband. He has a physique like a basket ball player. Hard lean muscles, and beautifiul blue gray eyes, but he is african american. I don't know how long I can resist. He is so yummy! I know it's wrong but would it hurt to dip out just this once?
2006-06-14 15:42:50 · update #1
as you say you have tried masturbating am assuming that this was not enough for you.
Maybe you should look at buying some toys, vibrators or the like, as these might help you achieve more during your masturbation.
The other thing that you can do is have sex with somebody else - i am not saying have an affair, as this would entail an emotional commitment to the person that you are having sex with, but just to have sex with somebody to release the tension and the need that your body has.
AS long as you take care so that your husband does not find out and you take precautions like using a condom, in my opinion it would be OK.
I know a lot of people will disagree with this, but at the end of the day if you are caring for the man you love, but need this for yourself, then do it. It is better for your husband that you are happy and emotionally sound as this will allow you to care for him better.
If you are frustrated all the time then the care that you are providing him will not be as good, you might even consider leaving him due to this frustration that could turn into depression etc.
At the end of the day it is just sex and if you really need it go out and get it.
Good luck.
2006-06-14 15:51:54 · answer #1 · answered by kel 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
In your other question, you mentioned your husband is ill-tempered and he's cheated on you. Also, you mentioned your difficulty with your hard headed mother-in-law. I think you should just cut him lose. Why not get a divorce instead of dealing with all these problems? Cheating is not an option. My only advice to you is that you leave him since you're facing so many problems in your marriage already. You can't just be in a relationship out of pity. You have to love him with all your heart. So ask yourself if you truly love him or if you only feel sorry for him. The way I see it, if you loved him, you wouldn't have considered cheating. So better to save the hassle and get a divorce.
2006-06-14 15:50:56 · answer #2 · answered by * TeXaS cHiCk * 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remember the part where you said...in sickness and in health? Where is it written that the vows you took are only for the good parts? If the shoe were on the other foot and you had cancer how would you feel if while you're suffering and going through a lot of crap he was out there getting it on with someone else? Masturbate more often.
2006-06-14 15:43:59 · answer #3 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know were u are coming from here and while masterbating works for a little while but then you need more the real thing it is hard i know going so long with out it can drive a person crazy maybe u should find a sugar daddy but that is your choice best of luck in this and i will pray that ur husband gets better
2006-06-14 15:43:14 · answer #4 · answered by white_wizard 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My parents were in a similar situation. Mom wasn't able to perform, so they joined a polyamorus(latin for many loves) group. Now they live together with a really weird woman but they all get along and I guess dad gets some every now and again. They joined the group and "dated" several people before they found one that they could all make it work with. Its really strange at Christmas and other family gatherings because all three of them show up.
2006-06-14 15:41:17 · answer #5 · answered by jwelsh1021 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I feel so sorry for you and your husband. My sister was in a similar situation she had breast cancer and her husband cheated on her. Sad to say she was still having sex with him and he gave her AIDS. Although she died from the cancer her husband couldn't live with his self so he committed suicide. This haunt me even now and its been ten years. This is a true story and you have to think of your vows.How would you feel if your if the tables were turn. What happens if you fall in love with the other person or they fall in love with you. What if you get pregnant or a STD? I wouldn't do it if I were you ?
2006-06-14 15:50:59 · answer #6 · answered by shelia j 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well is this terminal cancer. Is he going to die from cancer and your just waiting for him to pass on. I am not saying that is wrong I am asking because you might want to ask him if it is ok for you to seek sexual satisfaction from someone else. If he is understanding and he has terminal cancer he will say for you to go ahead. If he is not going to die from cancer and he is just not getting any better than he will say no. Unfortunatly this can kill your marriage. Well I say for you to ask him and a statement. question. Run it by him as a WHAT IF question. Look at his body expression and the way he talks to you. If it is negative then do it behind his back. If positive then seek someone that will understand the situation you are in and GO FOR IT.
2006-06-14 15:47:05 · answer #7 · answered by jonathang79 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK...I just read your question from yesterday! If he is abusive and has a terrible temper and you were separated for 4 years already and he cheated on you numerous times...You are in this relationship out of pity? I'm sorry,but you should've divorced him when you had the chance. What are you waiting for now?
2006-06-14 15:57:11 · answer #8 · answered by zoya 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend who was dying of cancer about 10 yrs,ago.He did not want to die and leave his wife alone.He also could not take care of her sexually.She and him talked about her need.He told her to go out with girlfriends and find someone, but he wanted to meet him to make sure that when he died,she would have some one.
She found a man and the last 3 monts of her husbands life they took care of him.
2006-06-14 15:45:38 · answer #9 · answered by asmikeocsit 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your husband has other body parts that work. Make some suggestions. This is the" worse" part in for better or worse and in "sickness "and in health. You made vows so you should stay true to them.
2006-06-14 15:46:18 · answer #10 · answered by wishorstish 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋