2006-06-14 15:14:57 · 7 answers · asked by socal4jeani 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
From what I have learned in life and volunteering at a Women's Resource Center is that humans will go to what they know/are comfortable with. Example: if you were abused physically as a child, you will typically end up with physically abusive guys as you don't know what the signs of an abuser are. It is the only thing you have ever known, so it is what you are attracted to. I lived with this for many years. I married an abuser and was with him for 20 years (thank goodness it wasn't physical abuse, but the verbal abuse can be worse as the bruises do heal, but the emotional aspect doesn't heal so easily as it can take years to repair the damage of it).
I think that you need to look at your past and see where this attraction of abuse comes from. Were you abused growing up (parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, or anyone else that may have done this to you)? Counseling may help you with this. You may need to go to a support group to help you learn what is and is not ok in a relationship, what the signs are to look for, etc (I have been thru them and they teach you a lot; call your local women's shelter to find out about these classes or if you have/get a counselor, ask him/her about them). While you are doing all of this, tho, do NOT get involved with another guy. You will need to change your ways of thinking and doing things, know what the red flags/warning signs are for an abusive guy, build up your self-esteem etc.
I do wish you luck. There are a lot of guys out there that are NOT abusive (my fiance is one of these awesome guys), but you have to have good self esteem and know the warning signs before having one attracted to you and for you to be attracted to one (I am still having to teach my 36 year old sister all of this).
2006-06-14 15:59:22 · answer #1 · answered by honey 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of the trailer park and look for a guy with a little class
2006-06-14 22:19:42 · answer #2 · answered by aspecialfred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are just as many good ones as bad ones. You probably ignore or are disinterested in the good ones and like the bad ones. You know I'm right.
2006-06-14 22:18:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you have to change yourself to find yourself attracted to a different type of guy. We tend to choose the same person over and over again... the only way to change that is to look within and change yourself.
2006-06-14 22:20:30 · answer #4 · answered by Confused 1 Man Lover 77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your bad luck, lil sister!!
Not all men are like this, I promise!! You need to find other places to meet men, like the beach, or the park, etc.
Good Luck!
Aloha!
2006-06-14 22:20:46 · answer #5 · answered by gabriel_demus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
then the problem has to be with you all mens are not abusive
2006-06-14 22:20:23 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry for you misfortune but i'm not into that hiting thing totolly wrong
2006-06-14 22:26:21 · answer #7 · answered by wilco254 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋