My wife admitted to me she is bisexual and wants me to be ok with it..am I closed minded to object??

Question

My wife admitted to me she is bisexual and wants me to be ok with it..am I closed minded to object??
honestly I suspected as much..but we never talked about it seriously...she mentioned it was a fad and she only kissed her gf's as a goof.... I always said before that I didn't think it was a bad thing..so maybe she felt I ok ed it...can my marriage include this part of her....I am not jealous but I worry she isn't morally valid and what about children if we have them....???

Additional Details


it makes me sad..I love her and she loves me, and when I am with her I am at peace...I would only share her with women, preferably only one....I could live and love her with this

Answer 1

I don't think it's a good idea to want to share you partner with anyone.. when u get married or in any relationship, i think that we have made that commitment because we want no other. Some people are open to it and stay happy but others it just causes way too many problems. I have fantasies but i would never expect my partner to have to have to participate in any of them and neither would he but we are like minded. I don't know what you should do really, if you love her and she loves you you both need to agree on what to do and what not to do, i think she should not have married you if she's bi, she should of just stayed single cause being Bi in a marriage is kinda like having her cake and eating it too, it's just not fair on you .

Answer 2

This is cheating just as sure as you were cheating with another woman or man. Marriage is designed to be monogamus. That doesn't include another woman or man. It is possible to continue to love her even though she has been unfaithful because she has been regardless of her excuses. She has hurt you and as long as these other relationships go on the hurt will continue and she needs to know this. Experimentation before marriage while not OK is certainly less traumatic than you situation. You both need counseling to continue your marriage because this situation will probably end your marriage in the long run. I'm sorry, but being unfaithful with a person of the same sex is just as hurtful if not more hurtful than an affair with a person of the opposite sex. All I can say is I wish you the best and I hope a lot of folks will pray for you.

Answer 3

This is a tough issue. First, she should have shared this with you before the marriage, then you would have been better prepared to make a decision about marrying her. Now that you are married, it is always best to try to work out your issues if you can. When sexual issues are present, both parties should agree. One party just going along to preserve the marriage only ends in disaster.

Also, a marriage is between two people and when you bring other people into the marriage bed you open yourselves to a whole world of weird issues not meant to be dealt with by two married people.

I think you already know the answer to the question of if it is morally okay. If you have to ask the question, then I think you probably know the answer. You know that it is not okay for children to be a part of this type of relationship.

Answer 4

If you are in California, the divorce rate is over 60%, if you are anywhere else in the USA, it's over 50%. Think of it this way, either way, man or woman, your wife just told you she is attracted to another person or persons! Anytime a person in a relationship admits that, it's not headed in a good direction!

My answer is try to get counseling to see if it is just a phase, fantasy...but if she doesn't want to or she says the feelings are to strong, the majority wins. I wish you luck but there are millions in your same boat, just remember you are not alone.

Answer 5

My good friend experienced the same thing as you, his wife suddenly annouced she was bi - and then introduced her lover and the three of them were happy for a while, but the more intimate she became with the other woman, the more it hurt my buddy... and now they are seperated!!!

If you can handle it, good luck to you, Bra!!! But be honest with your wife, don't hide your feelings!

Good Luck!

Aloha!

Answer 6

You're opening Pandora's Box my friend. Infidelity is infidelity. If you are unsure going into this, it will only end like the movie "Indecent Proposal."

Answer 7

girls with girls is very common; don't take it personally, as many of us have thought about this at one time or another

you can't tell me you secretly don't find this hot??

it's probably just a fad/phase...curiousity