why is it so hard to live with an Indian man as a spouse?

Question

I am seeing so many cases where my indian female friends are having troubles to stay in marriage with indian men. Those man are very controling, demanding. not showing any love to their spouses but definately shows their anger, lazy to offer help to do house work but they do need wives' salary. why is it like that? serious answers pl.

Asian indian men married to asian indian women

Answer 1

It has a lot to do with the culture and the role of men in Indian society. They are raised in a certain way, and expect their wives to treat them the same way their mothers treated their fathers, but they don't want the same responsibilities that their fathers had (to be faithful, be a good provider, help raise the kids, etc).

Also, they know the women can't leave them, so they can abuse them as much as they like, and her parents will always tell her to go back to him.

It's very sad, but not all marriages end up like this. I've seen some arranged marriages wind up with much love and happy children. It depends on the couple and how much they are willing to accept the responsibilites of marriage.

Answer 2

The culture they come from does not value women. When a girl is born they will ignore her, but when a boy is born they throw a party! They are taught that this is normal behaviour. It is the European culture that teaches men to be gentlemen, and to treat their women as ladies. As the decendants of these people it is hard to understand other cultures.
I have seen women go through horrible abuses at the hands of men like this, but they cannot leave, they usually lose the children and can even be hunted down and maimed. Their in-laws will also treat the women horrible. These women need to be encouraged to call a shelter or crisis line, even if it is only for an empathic ear and counselling.

Answer 3

I'm Indian and I will never marry an Indian man for that same reason!!!
Majority of Indian Men are like that ...

Thank God I was not brought up in India (I'm from Trinidad, although my culture and upbringing was the same).
My parents aren't racists(Thank God society in Trinidad is mutiracial, so they did not have a racist attitude (marry an Indian man or you will be disowned kinda thinking)... they had allowed me to marry someone who is White American and had accepted him the moment they met him.
I think my mom really didn't wanted me to have a marriage like hers!!! So I'm considered LUCKY!

Too Bad Indian people from India are that way though!!! They have alot of strange ways in their beliefs and not to mention how controlling they are, they are also EXTREMELY RACISTS!!!
I think the most racists than all other racists.
They use their culture as an excuse to be that way!!!
That's Sad!!

Answer 4

I was married to an Indian man - (from India). He immigrated to London as many of them do. I knew that Indian men were controlling and this is a cultural issue because of their upbringing in India. Women are considered dirt and are required to be seen, not heard. My ex and I got along fairly well until we were married - at that point, I became his "possession." Our marriage was troubled a year into it. His mother and sister flew from London to "straighten me out." What they didn't realize was they were in America and they were guests in MY house. So, I promptly told them that they would need to respect my rules or hit the road. They packed their bags and went to a hotel (I had done everything to be hospitable to them until they disrespected me in my own home - my sister-in-law slapped me in my house!!). Needless to say, we divorced - the marriage became very violent and the root of it was control. My ex was also a master at mind-games. He was abusive physically, emotionally, and financially. I kicked him to the curb and never looked back because of the abuse. No one, regardless of nationality or cultural upbringing deserves to be abused. Unfortunately, in India, they just don't know any better because that is how they have been raised. I do have Indian friends that I adore, but I would never marry an Indian man again due to the scars from my marriage.

Answer 5

I am in a relationship with a Native American man( I assume you mean this and not someone from India). I have experienced many positive and negative times in our long relationship. Alcohol is a factor in my mans anger and control issues. It seems that the more alcohol the more problems and if this is present in these women's relationships, it can be a tough problem. There are Native websites that have links to support groups and these have helped me. Good luck.

Answer 6

Well its obviously a cultural thing. i'm not indian, but from what ive read it seems that men are raised to be dominant and controlling in a marriage, while women are meant to obey their husband and focus only on the household work and raising children. but among upperclass families, i hear that its not the case anymore, and that theyr infact more liberal and westernized, so mabe you should find a man from such a backround.

Answer 7

Well, I'm not "Indian", but I believe its a cultural thing. Their up bringing is different over there than it is over here. That kind of behavior is considered "The norm" I'd imagine. Its just when they come over here, and see how empowered American women have become over the past century, it puts things in perspective for some women, who in turn, questions the arrangement if she has weak religious ties.

Answer 8

not all the indian man are as what you said. i think your indian frens made the wrong choice. I know many indian husband who are opposite of what you have said. they are caring, loving and even treat their wife like princess. it's all depends on the individual itself not the race. Ask ur frens to slowly tell their husband that there are not happy with the way that they have been treated.

Answer 9

Because they saw there moms getting treated this way, or there just jerks. But it's not just Indian men. I work for a white couple and he is the same way with her. I feel sorry for them.

Answer 10

I think you just answered your own questiong. Its hard because they are so controlling. If im right i think it's cuz in the olden dayz remember everything was a man's world. Men had property over women. Maybe those guys are living in the past