Why do some gay men act so feminine and some lesbian women act masculine?

Question

I was wondering if maybe they wish they were of the opposite sex - which is why they act the way they do and hence are attracted to the same sex - are they trying to be more feminine or masculine to validate what they are doing?? SERIOUS QUESTION - just curious....

Answer 1

For the most part it is just the mannerism from their personality. There are a small number who do wish they were the opposite sex and will then take on such traits, but eventually they pursue the transgendered course (they then start dressing like the opposite gender, taking an opposite gender name, take hormones, and then eventually have surgery to change their gender). However, the vast majority of who display their mannerism that are interpreted as feminine and masculine do so because of their personality. I know heterosexual men whose personality grants them what people define as feminine mannerism and heterosexual women whose personality grants them what people define as masculine mannerism. So I've learned that such mannerisms are based upon one's sexual orientation, they are just a reflection of personality. Mostly enviromental. Most of the male heterosexuals I know that have feminine mannerisms tended to be very close to their mother, prefered to spend time doing "women's work" like gardening, cooking, etc and didn't like working on cars, etc. While they had male friends, most of the time, due to their mannerisms, they primarily had female friends (they would be taunted by masculine mannered males). The same for the female heterosexuals who have masculine mannerisms. They tended to be close to their father, prefered to spend time doing "men's work" like fixing cars, building things, etc and didn't enjoy things like cooking, gardening, etc. They tended to have more male friends than female friends (females would taunt them for not being feminine). Most people don't realize it, but the vast majority of people tend to be balanced between "masculine" and "feminine" traits. Consider the guy that enjoys gardening, cooking, working on cars, and building things and the same for the girl. Most men are only slightly masculine and most women are only slightly feminine. There are of course those who become the 'stereotype' of feminity and masculinity and there are of course men who are hypermasculine and women who are hyperfeminine. But all of this is based up personality and even enviroment (I have a friend who is a girl who was raised by her mother to be very very very feminine and while her personality does have some masculine tendencies, the hyperfeminine still dominates...and yet the mother was not all that feminine, so in a way she made her daughter more of what she thought she lacked based upon what society defines as feminine).

And that's my honest answer (and I do have some transgendered friends so my statement about transgendered people is also based upon my friends and not just an assumption).

Answer 2

No, as a lesbian who is masculine, we do not want to be another gender. It's just how we are comfortable. There are people who want to be the opposite gender. But that's not always the case. And actually it has nothing to so with hormones either. For medical reasons, I had all my hormone levels tested, and initially my hormone levels were all within normal ranges, tho my testosterone was in the high normal average and estrogen in the low normal, but I was put on a birth control (go figure lol) which decreased my testosterone, increased my estrogen and progesterone and I loox, act, think, feel the same as I always have.

Additionally I have met really femenine guys and masculine girls who were not homosexuals. They just are who they are.

Answer 3

Why do some straight men act so fem and some straight women act so butch? Why do you ignore the obvious...is it more convenient than to think a question through? People are people, regardless of their sexuality. Many men REFUSE to be cast in the John Wayne box of "manhood." (in fact, John Wayne thought it a stupid role, and certainly was not like that off camera.) Some women prefer pants to skirts, prefer stating their minds and doing, rather than playing innocent and helpless. There is no reason for our division of what is what and who is who. We are all the same, and it is about .... no...long past time to put down AMERICAN ideas of what is male and what is female. Europeans have NEVER bought into this nonsense, and they have been around a lot longer than we have. And it is absolutely amazing at how much ignorance I see in these answers! Do you really think that estrogen is responsible for women spending time in the kitchen??? Get real!

Answer 4

It's about being an outcast. If your on the edge of society already, what's the difference if you make yourself even more different. I'm not at all what I would call butch, but I don't wear dresses all the time either. I think that more people would disregard their "role" if we didn't live in such a stuck up world. If we got rid of teaching roles then it would be no problem at all for anyone to dress and act like they want. I think that challenging your gender role is also an act of making yourself independent and unique.

Answer 5

Really this is a good question i dont even know why do women act masculine and i am like that, i do look like boy , wear clothes like boys, i dance like boys, walk like a boy but thats the way it is because even that i do these acts i dont know why i do these acts i think just comes naturally because since i was little girl like 4 or 5 i never liked to wear dresses or something like that and my mom try me so hard to go in feminine way(or how to tell it ) but i think its funny for me i dont know why and i know its more funny when u act like boy and i am not boy but thats me i just dont want to change

Answer 6

The gay life-style entails a lot of changes and differences. Many gay men I know started out effeminate and wound up being gay, whereas I have yet to meet a woman who is a stereotypical "dyke," they are just not as common. The girly boys, though... I mean, what's not to love? All that horrible testosterone crap out of their system so they can focus on more important things...

Answer 7

It's hormones. It usually has nothing to do with acting (though this isn't always the case); it's hormones that makes them like the same sex; and it's hormones that make them act more like the opposite sex than their own. Just like it's hormones that makes you like the opposite sex; it's hormones that makes them like the same sex, and act the way they do, and isn't something they can change.

Answer 8

gay hormone imbalance. gay men have more estrogen and lesbian have more testosterone

Answer 9

They are really confused about their gender role.

Answer 10

I don't think they're trying to "act" at all, they're just being who they are.