He has one friend in particular who he talks to the most, his phone bill is loaded with her number and they have really long conversations.He knows I don't like her but he dosen't care. He even goes to her house with my daughter and dosen't tell me about it. What should I do, I am running out of ideas?
2006-06-14 14:12:20 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Take an interest in those things he likes and what he talks about with his other friends and TALK TO HIM!
Be the better friend.
2006-06-14 14:16:20 · answer #1 · answered by harrydlc3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he have a child with this woman, or is she just "a friend." If there is no link, such as a child with her, then I would have a calm talk with him to understand why he continues to converse with her so frequently. Without getting upset, let him know your concerns, especially concerning his taking your daughter to the other woman's house. Take him to dinner or something to discuss this and don't bring your child since there are likely to be issues to come up that you don't want her to hear. If you go to a restaurant, it's less likely to turn into a heated conversation.
Why do you not like this woman - is it because he gives more of his attention to her than you? If she is just a dispicable person, then you would have reason not to like her, but if it is a jealousy issue, don't yell at him or be confrontational - just approach him in a loving, positive way (no matter how hard it might be!!) and try to get to the bottom of it. Let him tell you what it is that attracts him to her - don't get upset at the response eventhough it might be disturbing to you until you have had time to think it through. Just take it as food for thought and also after he has had an opportunity to be straight with you, let him know that you care for him and how it hurts you when he talks to this other woman. If there is a chance to mend your relationship, give it 110% (of course, he should commit to that as well). If that doesn't work, and especially if you find out he is cheating, it is probably time to reconsider your relationship and make some changes. Remember your daughter is impacted, so you both need to consider what she is exposed to.
Hope this is helpful - good luck.
2006-06-14 14:49:46 · answer #2 · answered by Jules 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't, nor should you have to make your partner do something. Should have have to make you do anything, would that be fair really? You have to trust or you don't have a relationship. There are always going to be things that make your blood boil but ask yourself, is this going to be a HUGE issue in ten years? No. Trust because otherwise you will push him away and that won't help you or your family. Just relax, chances are he was friends with her before he even met you so really, just relax and try not to worry ok. You have to trust unless you have a reason not to. Good luck!
2006-06-14 14:24:52 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start talking to one of your male friends more. If you don't have one, make one. If he understood more how you felt perhaps he wouldn't be so quick to dismiss your feelings.
And why is he out driving around with your daughter without your knowledge??? That's where he has really crossed the line.
You may find yourself divorced with someone else raising your daughter if you let him "run all over you." He's not going to respect you, if you don't respect yourself.
And if you have "let yourelf go", then get yourself back in shape asap.
Good Luck.
2006-06-14 14:18:56 · answer #4 · answered by Jennyee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well..i am a female and i am in oppiste situations i have close male friends. well honestly there is nothin u can do about it except tell him the way u feel about it. freinds are friends seriously if they have been talkin before u guys been together then u can't stop it. but u can address the fact that u do not like the part about going to the house. but if he is a truthful husband then they really r just friends and u don't have anything to worry about? do u not trust him enough?
2006-06-14 14:16:58 · answer #5 · answered by sexyindianroyalty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL BECAUSE I AM IN A SIMILAR SITUATION WITH MY HUSBAND. THE FIRST THING THAT HE FAILS TO REALIZE IS THAT HE SHOULDNT HAVE A FEMALE FRIEND THAT HIS WIFE DOES NOT GET ALONG WITH. THAT MAKES HIS FRIEND FEEL LIKE SHE MEANS MORE TO HIM THAN HIS WIFE BECAUSE SHE KNOWS HIS WIFE DOESNT LIKE HER BUT HE STILL DIDNT END THE FRIENDSHIP. I DONT THINK THAT NO MAN HAS ANY REASON TO TALK ON THE PHONE WITH ANOTHER FEMALE OK I CAN UNDERSTAND ONCE OR TWICE BUT WHEN HE IS TALKING TO HER EVERYDAY FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME THAT IS JUST PLAIN DISRESPECTFUL. I THINK THAT HE WAS TOTALLY WRONG FOR BRINGING YOUR DAUGHTER TO HER HOUSE IF MY HUSBAND DID THAT I WOULD MAKE THE HEADLINE IN THE MORNING PAPER FOR WHAT I WOULD DO TO HIM. YOU NEED TO TELL HIM THAT HE HAS A DECISION TO MAKE END THIS FRIENDSHIP OR END YOUR MARRIAGE. THE ONLY CHOICE HE HAS IF HE LOVES YOU AND WANTS TO BE WITH HIS FAMILY IS END THIS FRIENDSHIP. DONT JUST LET HIM TELL YOU HE DID MAKE HIM CALL HER AND PUT HER ON SPEAKER PHONE OR THE TWO OF YOU GO OVER TO HER HOUSE BUT MAKE SURE YOU HEAR HIM TELL HER.
2006-06-14 14:37:43 · answer #6 · answered by <<SEXY MOMMA>> 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can you say creep! hey but that's your husband if he respected you he would hear you and would not do things to hurt or offend you i know i am married , on the catty side why don't you get a bunch of male friends get dressed and look good have them pick you up @ home introduce to your husband so nicely and go have a kick *** night keep doin it until he gets the freakin point, the works invite them over for family dinners and laugh extra loud at everything they say and when they call turn the phone off and go to another room basically show his *** 2 can play the game
2006-06-14 14:21:52 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like an emotional affair, which may or may not be accompanied by a physical relationship. Since this relationship is obviously affecting your marriage, you need to corner your husband and have a long converation about it. If he loves you and wants the marriage to work, he will be willing to talk.
2006-06-14 14:43:30 · answer #8 · answered by CareerGal9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you even want to control your husband? is it because you are scared that you might lose him? if that's the case i would say get a hold of yourself, you are enforcing your likes and dislikes on a person,that really doesn't work.... u cant order him to say anything to you, may be you can try and explain it to him and sort your differences .. that would be a good start... and maybe you could go to the woman's house and explain your situation to her.... her replies would sure give you and idea about their relationship.
2006-06-14 14:35:33 · answer #9 · answered by eaglespost 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a serious problem. Once he does not care about what you think it's hard to get him back.
Some people will say to get up and leave him. That is a short term fix that creates other problems.
You need to work on trying to get his attention so he does not have to look for it somewhere else.
Good Luck
2006-06-14 14:24:22 · answer #10 · answered by Mark V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋