im in love with him, and look forward to a future with him. i am single never been married no dependants. he was married five yrs and has a 4 yr old child....has anyone else felt 2nd rate dating someone who has been married with a child prior to them?
2006-06-14 13:56:43 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was exactly where you are now, 4 years ago. Only my boyfriend's little girl was 3 then, not 4.
It shouldn't matter that he's experienced things that you haven't yet. The important thing is that you'll be experiencing things TOGETHER from now on. Your wedding isn't going to be the same as his last one, nor the honeymoon, nor any kids that you have, etc. Each experience will be unique, and you should both treasure them for what they are.
A word of caution, however. If you're not willing to make room in your life for his old one - GET OUT NOW. If you don't think you can love his child like one of your own (even if he doesn't have custody), then this marriage is destined for rocky times. His child will always be a high priority - and will take a higher priority than you sometimes. You have to be prepared for that. If you don't think you can do this (and there's no shame in admitting it if you can't), then you should leave now, and try to find someone with a situation more similar to yours, i.e., no kids.
Good luck!
2006-06-14 18:17:02 · answer #1 · answered by CrazyOphelia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why should you feel second rate.
Everthing he did, he did with his first wife. Although you may be his second wife, every thing you two do, will be for the first time. You are now a completely new duo, when you make love, it will be the first for both of you, doing it together.
The same will hold true for everything you do together, think of it that way, and not as being second.
You may lose out on a great romance, if you do.
2006-06-14 21:02:42 · answer #2 · answered by johnb693 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as I am concerned you are First Rate for accepting a man (who's been married before) and his a child!
2006-06-14 21:36:47 · answer #3 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, me and my husband now have been married before. You have to get over being the "first" per say. And accept being the "now and forever". Also, even though you may not be the first there is still ways to make it special. Even though you may not be the "first", it can be the first time with you.
2006-06-14 21:15:56 · answer #4 · answered by sweetpeachiebear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my god yes welcome to my life, my husband would jump through hoops for his ex-wife. he would always say she has no one to help her.they have 2 kids together.12and14. i have a 6yr old with him. and because of that i dont plan on having any more kids with him. when i was pregnant i went shopping 1 week before he was born and bought everthing, he set the crib up when i was in the hospital and then after that he would feel guilty that he didnt spend enough time with his kids so he would buy them new games weekly. i didnt have enough money to buy myself a new pair of shoes,after that i got my own checking account --we have nothing in both of are names , whats mine is staying mine. eventually his boys were very mean to my son i couldnt leave the three of them alone together i think they were pinching my son if i left the living room to go into the kitchen.
2006-06-15 03:54:21 · answer #5 · answered by corvairchick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it bother you so much why not find a man with no kids are ex wife. in this marriage you will always be # 2 wife not the childs mother step mother # 2 mother you will always be known as #2
2006-06-14 21:05:10 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow thats strange. I am married, and he had a gf, and now were back together, this is a question she would be asking, because my daughter is 4 as well. and she felt the sameway you did. things will never be different, because his ex and his child will always be number one to him.
2006-06-14 22:34:26 · answer #7 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You bet!!! Happens all the time.. I think it sux so much I'm telling you to analyze this and try and find someone else. You need someone else w/no children, my dear.. it's screaming out at me here.. Nothing 'bad' about you .. or him.. we're talking about a future.. a heck of a long time in this sitch.. l6 years.. g'luck/later
2006-06-14 21:01:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know its a bummer but you knew this when you got involved you should not feel 2nd to any one though you can not expect to be more important than a child the ex wife who cares believe everything she does will be to get on your nerves its up to you if you let her . more importantly you should your see your self the way he sees you , if you are important to him you will know and you wont have to ask!
2006-06-14 21:04:05 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋