honestly I suspected as much..but we never talked about it seriously...she mentioned it was a fad and she only kissed her gf's as a goof.... I always said before that I didn't think it was a bad thing..so maybe she felt I ok ed it...can my marriage include this part of her....I am not jealous but I worry she isn't morally valid and what about children if we have them....???
2006-06-14 13:49:13 · 11 answers · asked by mayigniteunderpressure 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it makes me sad..I love her and she loves me, and when I am with her I am at peace...I would only share her with women, preferably only one....I could live and love her with this....
2006-06-14 14:40:01 · update #1
You're not the first to be stuck in this predicament. Even in today's enlightened age, people still hope that getting married will fix the feelings that they have.
Asking her to put aside these feelings wont work. Neither will you "trying" to be open minded. Some people are very happy to be with bisexual wives. Others would feel uncomfortable. The only one who can make that decision is you.
While most men would joke that having a bisexual wife is a dream come true, when it happens to them its a whole different set of feelings.
2006-06-14 14:02:38 · answer #1 · answered by vacca33 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, too bad (since it obviously bothers you) you didn't discuss it earlier. You know, a lot of people are bi's.. (I read there is a teensy element of this in ALL of us.) What's the age here? I'm guessing mid-20's. A lot of times it IS just a fad w/girls ..Girls can get away w/kissing each other (boy's can't of course.) Do you worry then she might like leave you for another woman.. OR are you worried she's morally 'bad' (as you mentioned raising children and wanting their morals to be good..) It IS easier in society to be 'straight' as we all know. I don't know.. I think if you trust her w/men you ought to trust her w/women, frankly. I think if the children see the two of you as a loving heterosexual couple that is what they will emulate. You are not jealous... so there is no one (female) lurking around, eh? She doesn't act (we call it 'butch') does she? She might attract some other lesbians if so. I just noticed this.. it happened a lot where I went to college (was years ago.. maybe I'm behind the 'homosexual times' tho.. lol) hope this was of some help to you. (I am sure you love one another.. it will be o.k. Go ahead and plan on the children.. as you want things right before they come into this world, you sound are sounding responsible to me.. )
2006-06-14 20:58:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that she should have been up front and honest with you about the whole thing in the first place. As far as how you should feel about it...I do not think that you should condone it because you 2 are together and if she wanted to include others in her relationship like that she should not have gotten married. It also could cause problems later on becuase you might wonder if she wants to be with girls more than she wants to be with you if she does decide to persue her sexuality. If you love her though you will be understanding and accept that it was once a part of her life but when the both of you got together that part of her life was no longer and it should stay that way. As far as the children go when they grow up hopefully by the time u talk to them about sexuality they are grown up enough to understand that individuals have preferences and it is alright to explore until you find your own but when you do be respectful of how your preference effects the ones that are close to.
2006-06-14 21:04:22 · answer #3 · answered by firstgirl84 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A marriage is between a man and a woman, and in your vows it says forsake all others, which means that she should not go outside of the marriage. If this makes you uncomfortable then explain to her how you feel. If it doesn't then perhaps you two need to really discuss the consequences of adding someone else in your union. Because once the boundaries have been crossed there maybe some resentment that will build. As far as morally you are right this is wrong because she took a vow to be with you and you only. Good luck!
2006-06-14 20:56:02 · answer #4 · answered by Fe-Fe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It ain't no fad --- have the marriage annulated if possible --- you don't need that "Jerry Springer drama" --- it never stops at one --- cause once she gets to cheat and has your approval --- your life will not be the same!!! And others will find out because two women can never keep something like that a secret for long!!! I lived in a small town and heard things like this a lot --- several had to move because of the backlash it caused----
2006-06-14 21:41:08 · answer #5 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not close minded here... It would really bother me if my wife was like this... This is imorrally wrong and if i were you i would seperate.... I feel her being bi-sexual is reason to divorce her.
2006-06-14 20:58:29 · answer #6 · answered by Fast Steve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did she wait to u guys were married to tell u, she can not be bi sexual and married, she as you when you were married, comitted ur selfs to each other, sounds kinda funny that she would tell u this now
2006-06-14 21:06:21 · answer #7 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you have to accept ALL of her if you want to be accepted wholly. So that means you have to accept her being bisexual.
2006-06-14 22:53:36 · answer #8 · answered by boomerang3que 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, she sounds confused. Find someone who only wants you!
2006-06-14 21:30:56 · answer #9 · answered by Venus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your not jealous then you have a perfect wife , love her for who she is ,,let her open up to you
2006-06-14 20:55:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋