Now in my thirties with children, just realised I've never had a close female friend since leaving school, however, I know and get on with lots of people.
Advise on how to make and keep a friend.
2006-06-14 13:18:12 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Nothing wrong with that at all. I have not had a best friends since school either, I have a lot of friends that I am close to and who I see in groups or as individuals, if I need to talk I talk to my b/f or my mother, I think you are perfectly normal! I don't think there is any right or wrong way to make friends, as we get older we have less time to spend with friends, especially if you have kids so it is hard to devote enough time to people to get that close very quickly, sometimes friendships take years to develop, be there for the friends you have when they need you and bonds you already have may deepen into a closer friendship.
2006-06-14 20:59:38 · answer #1 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Oh I can soooo relate! I see all these shows with "girlfriends" and I just wonder what that would be like. I will give you advice (however I'm actually speaking to myself as well :) First "we" need to try to be the instigator of the friendship and not expect someone to be the one to invite you (or I) to lunch, shopping etc. I also think that I feel that this friend that I'm always looking for, and I, will immediatly connect. Maybe it takes more time and there needs to be more consistancy. And maybe this friend and you do not need to have everything in common...just somethings. I hope you find a friend soon! You can email me...who knows maybe we live next door :) amympa@yahoo.com
Amy
2006-06-14 13:34:37 · answer #2 · answered by Amy A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's better than to think that you have a best friend only to realize how wrong you were! I got hurt so many times by friends...If you get along with a lot of people, enjoy that, you never know who will be your closest friend at the end.
2006-06-14 13:23:29 · answer #3 · answered by Aelita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi,
i love my close female friends. I have always had best friends who i love and who love me, and we say it! and we support each other, and listen, and are there for each other. I love them more than i would love any man, they will always be there for me. I can't imagine life without best friends.
It takes time, and trust, and honesty, and openness. It takes a willingness to be vulnerable in front of other people and to love their faults and vulnerabilities in return. That can be tough. I know, i was the sort of person who always wanted to appear perfect, strong, in control. It is much harder to show your weaknesses than your strengths but it is by showing my humanity, the real things, that i have made such good friends.
You are missing out on a lot. Real friendship is priceless. I am not condemning you here because you sound intelligent and nice but what sort of woman has no close friends? what is it in you (and it is IN YOU, i'm sure lots of people would like to be your close friend) that has lead to you having no friends close enough to love you.
They are there waiting for you to open up ...
love and wishes for you.
2006-06-14 14:17:34 · answer #4 · answered by happy red shoes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you know alot of ppl. That's a good start! Just try to hook up with someone who shares the same interests as you shopping, going to the gym, concert, picnics, kids soccer etc. whatever you enjoy doing. Don't know the reason you haven't managed to get close. Do you not trust people? (I have the same problem) but just take it slow and let people prove themselves. As time goes by you will determine who you want to stick around and who you want to just be social with. Good luck!
2006-06-14 13:24:25 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Mandeville 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, I'm not thirty, not even close, but i have that same problem too, i have a lot of female friends that i talk to but i don't have a close/best friend that i tell all my secrets to.
2006-06-14 13:30:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No there's nothing wrong with you. Some people don't need close friends and are quite happy with just a few good ones.
Like love, if you go looking for a close friend, you rarely find one. Don't worry about it - if you need one, they will turn up needing you.
2006-06-14 14:44:08 · answer #7 · answered by Owlwings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my god are you related to me or what? I have the same problem, and I'm also thirty. I think it is fine but I do wonder if we should find that close "girlfriend" before we die.
2006-06-14 13:22:33 · answer #8 · answered by Justbeingme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think that there is anything wrong with you, if you feel like you need a close friend then maybe you should become someones close friend. If you trust that person and you could tell them things and trust them to keep it to them selves then hey that works.
2006-06-14 13:23:19 · answer #9 · answered by Sherry D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
l think you must be an emotionally mature and healthy woman who doesn't need to trade secrets and 'girl talk' on an unnecessarily intimate basis.
Quite frankly l think the whole 'best friend' issue is grossly over-rated.
2006-06-16 11:42:51 · answer #10 · answered by Emma Woodhouse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋