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Please be nice people... i am a normal, well adjusted adult. I am not a prude. I am just heartbroken over this. Should I just suck it up and smile, and pretend to be okay with this?

2006-06-14 12:28:10 · 10 answers · asked by angel.withhorns 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

I am madly in love with this man. I am just sick over the fact that to celebrate marrying me, he is choosing to go have another woman grind all over him.....ick

2006-06-14 12:30:52 · update #1

10 answers

It is usually more for his friends than him. Lay down the ground rules(ex. yes, I do consider it cheating if a stripper blow$ you, etc.) and then trust him. If you find that you don't think you can trust him then you need to reconsider getting married. Chances are your imagination is going to be far more wild than reality.

2006-06-14 12:42:27 · answer #1 · answered by highspeed_gardener 2 · 0 0

You should sit down beforehand and say, "I know you're going to have a bachelor party, and I'm going to have a bachelorette party, so let's talk about what's okay and what's not." Start bargaining low (a church-sponsored event) and be willing to negotiate to a more realistic place (strippers are okay, bride and groom's clothes must stay on at their respective events). If it was me, I wouldn't have any problem with strippers, porn, Vegas, whatever... as long as he kept his clothes on. However, if someone breaks the terms of the agreement and it is discovered either before or after the wedding, it should be grounds for a trial seperation AND that partner should have to take an STD test before you two have sex again!

2006-06-14 19:32:48 · answer #2 · answered by Jetgirly 6 · 0 0

i feel you woman... that's exactly how i felt with my husband's bachelor's party but i was able to get over it after realizing that it's true like what you've said, it's inevitable. let me share some thoughts...

you should know you husband-to-be well enough if he's the type who would do something behind your back. it's OK for him and for the rest of his guy friends to have fun for one last time. he'll be yours forever anyway... and if he truly treasures your relationship, it'll be his own will to not do something stupid.

another thing is, i suppose you know his friends too, right? if you do and if they respect you, they wouldn't let your man to do something that's beyond the borderline. it's all about communication. have a talk with your man before the party or better yet, one of his friends too. pick someone who you are most comfortable with and tell him how you're entrusting your husband-to-be with him.

by the way, i gave my husband one rule... YOU CAN LOOK BUT YOU CANNOT TOUCH. give yourself a rule as well for your bachelorette's party... "Don't do anything that you wouldn't want him to do"

i hope you guys will have a fun, clean, and fight-free parties!!!

2006-06-14 19:55:15 · answer #3 · answered by tangerine 2 · 0 0

Ask if he is going to cheat and had sex there and if he plands to i sure can see why you are so hurt.... I personally dont like bachelor parties with strippers because it can lead to that.... No you should not pretend to be okay with this at all and dont feel you have to suck it up and smile. Be real and be who you are... I know this would really bother me if it happened and i would want answers! If you cannot trust him do not get married! You are very normal for how you feel here! I totally understand why you feel this way!

2006-06-14 19:32:20 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0 0

do you trust him? that's the big question you need to ask yourself. Because if you're having issues with a bachelor party, you've got some soul searching to do. Either there's something amiss with your relationship or you're insecure and mistrusting. Either of those senarios can reek havoc on a relationship. The most important part of a relationship is trust, that helps forge a foundation for a long meaningful, respected relationship between two people.

there are a lot of issues, baggage that we come into relationship with. so you need figure out if that mistrust, that heartbrokenness has ANYTHING to do with your fiance or if it has something to do with a past relationship, your parents relationship, or something deep seeted that you've never dealt with, because unless you come to terms with it and move on, it's going to eat you long after your I DOs...

good luck!

2006-06-14 19:37:14 · answer #5 · answered by nm_angel_eyes 4 · 0 0

Well, if you trust him, you know that the bachelor party realy doens't mean much to him, at least the girl doens't. The bachelor party is usually more important to the groom's buddies, who need one last drink fest with him.

My husband went to a strip club with his buddies. I wasn't worried. It was his buddies who wanted lap dances. Sure they bought one for him... he was entertained. But that was it... he didn't sleep with her, kiss her, or anything. And I didn't need him to tell me that. WHy?

Because I know he loves ME. It's not about how much I love him...it's about how much he knows and respects ME that he doesn't take a strip club seriously. It was a venue for his guy friends to all party together. If you know he loves and respects you, that's all you need to know. And if you aren't sure, you shouldn't be getting married.

And so you don't get sick thinking about it - plan your bachelorette on the same night and have fun with your girl friends! and if you think you can't get over it... talk to him about it, and talk to the best man. His bachelor party shouldn't make you feel hurt.

2006-06-14 19:46:54 · answer #6 · answered by KB 6 · 0 0

Well, you can let him know how you feel. I'm sure everyone feels that way. But just be honest with the bachelor or whoever. There's nothing wrong with being worried or concerned, but you should just tell them how you feel.

2006-06-14 19:30:56 · answer #7 · answered by Your_Star 6 · 0 0

do you trust you man? i'm sure the answer is yes. alright then, trust him in every aspect. you know that he will not do anything to jeopardize your relationship, so why are you stressing out about it. no one said that there are going to be strippers there. even if there are, he should be man enough to say no. give him the benefit of the doubt.

2006-06-14 19:31:05 · answer #8 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0 0

It's just a bunch of guys getting together to give their buddy one last Hurrah!!

Are you not having a bachelorette party?

2006-06-14 19:34:35 · answer #9 · answered by gabriel_demus 4 · 0 0

If you have worry about it or him, DO NOT get married.
You should know his friends by this time. What is your opinion of them? Once again, if his friends are the low life type, DO NOT get married.

2006-06-14 19:32:12 · answer #10 · answered by Nick R 3 · 0 0

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