Help...hurtin bad...?

Question

We were to married next week till an albeit unfortunate altercation. I couldn't see past my pride n insecurities and she got pissed. I never would have thought this could happen. we split 5 weeks ago and talked a bit during. I was indeed not a nice guy thru our relationship but not abusive and there was no infidelity. just could not trust. she won't talk to me anymore. I can prepare myself 2 move on but don't want 2. She was my love n I am to blame. I don't take blame cuz I feel bad, I lost her plain n simple. We would talk n when I would ask important questions she would say we'll talk later. that was the last she said 2 me. She now won't talk 2 me.I understand the reasons that this could b, but I just ask her 2 let me know if she wants me 2 stop talking 2 her. No answer. I texed her n asked "if u want me 2 stop bothering u let me know.I just want u 2 be happy. Just remember me." It seems so childish n mean 2 not respond.I just want 2 know so I can get on.I can.not w a clear heart tho

Answer 1

I am sorry for your breakup, but I have to be truthful in my response. The fact that she isn't responding to your questions IS her answer, sadly. She wants you to give her space, and you should. Don't press her for an answer as that will already add fuel to an already out of control fire. She is clearly letting it be known that she wants no communication from you at this time. Give her room, and let go. I know it is hard, but this is what happens sometimes. It's not fair. It isn't cool but things do happen for a reason. Sometimes they are lessons we need to learn.

In an ideal world people would be direct and forthcoming with their feelings, and do it kindly. But this isn't an ideal world and people react the way they are going to react at times, and consequently, they can be mean. It's a childish reaction of course - to leave you hanging there waiting and wondering what is on her mind - but this is her choice, and all you can do is respect and honor it.

You mentioned that you were't always a nice guy in this relationship due to your own insecurities and pride, as well as your lack of trust. It is extremely important that you work on these issues within yourself in order to go on to have a successful, and healthy relationship. I mean this with all due respect to you as a person, and it comes from a supportive place, but until you actively do this you will continue to carry this same baggage into your next relationship and the next without ever resolving it. Not only is this not healthy for the relationship, but it isn't healthy for you as a person especially, or your future partner. The best relationships are those in which we allow ourselves to trust our partner, let down our walls, insecurities and pride, and allow them to guide us along our path. Doing this allows us to be so much freer in our lives, and opens up many different doors for us, especially one of happiness.

Please take care of you, and try to resolve this inherent issue within yourself so you can be happy.

Answer 2

As for now, don't text or call her, however, you can send her a nice & sincere letter or an email message explaining to her that it was your fault and you are willing to change your behavior or attitude or whatever that has made her mad. In that letter, just don't ask her what she wants from you but only tell her what you will do to be a better person/husband and ask for her forgiveness. After sending her a letter, give her a couple days or weeks to think about it. If she still loves you, she is still yours. If not, then move on because she might decide that you are not the one for her anymore.
Good luck and you'd better be a good husband if she comes back and marry you.

Answer 3

Well, as a girl, shes pretty done with you. Sorry pal, you probably sad about it, but you whent past her limit. You did what you could, now you have to learn from it and if you dont change this is gonna keep on going on every relationship that you get into. Give her time, she might come around, but dont get you hopes up. I had a boyfriend just like you for 4 years!! I had my limit, I stoppped loving him cause I knew that there was someone out there that did appreciate me and I found him.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

OK here goes, it seems to be she had no intent to really marry u,so what ever happen she used it as a way to opt out, chanceis are she was using you, love without trust is like a car without gas,going nowhere, If u had trouble trusting her, I would bet my last dollar it is because of something she done in the past while dating you, move on and live, run and dont look back,

Answer 6

I have a friend going through a situation like that, and i know why she wouldn't talk to her husband if they weren't together... because shes free and happy now. The only reason she would talk to him is because they have kids together. So sorry to say but, she doesn't care about you anymore after all the pain you've put her through, but she will always remember you, and have a tiny space in her heart for you, somewhere.

Answer 7

Seek counseling and help here.... Try to work on your marriage with her... I understand you hurt her but forgive yourself and apologize to her and ask her to forgive you.... At the same time give her some space and time to think and how to respond back to you! You are a good guy to admit this and i have alot of respect for you because of it... There should be more husbands and men out there like you. We could all learn from you!

Answer 8

I'm sorry you are hurting, but maybe you need to seriously back off and give her some time, and room to breathe. Maybe if she sees that you are secure with who you are, she will come around, but unfortunately, sometimes people have a hard time building that trust again. I'm sure it hurts to think about losing her, but maybe this is a good time to begin focusing on yourself, and what you could do to be a better, happier person for YOU.

Answer 9

Send her some yellow roses with an apology card.
Bring her a large fluffy super stuffed dog with sad eyes, get on your knees and apologize to her every single day until she forgives you or call the police.

Answer 10

I agree, it's time to move on. there's no point waiting for someone who no longer wants to be with you. hey, time heals wounds .....on the positive side, there are still fishes in the ocean, there are still others out there who'd be willing to have you, she may not be just the right girl for you ....