I need help deceiding if I should stay with my baby's dad.?

Question

I HAVE MY FIRST SON WHO'S DAD NEVER HELPED ME WITH ANYTHING FOR HIM, SO I MET MY BOYFRIEND A FEW MONTHS LATER HE TOOK ON THE RESPONSIBILITY OF TAKING CARE OF HIM LIKE IF HE WERE HIS OWN SON.A YEAR LATER WE HAVE OUR OWN BABY AND OF COURSE HES A GREAT DAD,THE PROBLEM IS HE'S CHEATING ON ME AND IT'S SOMEONE I WORK WITH AND SHE'S NOT EMBARRESED TO TELL EVERYONE.SHOULD I LEAVE IF I DO MY KIDS WILL HAVE TO BE IN DAYCARE 9-10 HOURS IF I STAY THEY WILL HAVE THEIR DAD. SHOULD I JUST TAKE HIS CHEATING FOR MY KIDS TO BE HAPPY?

Answer 1

I know this sounds horrid but believe me it never works if you just do it for the kids, I know that is not nice to hear but why should you suffer and get laughed at, thousands of kids go to day-care, and I'm sure you love your kids very much, and to be honest if you do love your kids very very much then why make yourself suffer? because did you know that if you are happy then you will have happy kids but if you are sad or angry or mad etc then you will have sad,angry, mad etc kids, basically parents feelings and behavior rubs off onto their kids so as well as thinking of your kids you need to make sure that you are happy too.

Answer 2

Should you take his cheating? Of course not. I would start by going to counseling and talk the situation out with a professional. If you can't afford it, check with your local mental health center. Most have sliding pay scales and even free counseling. Other than that a local pastor/priest that is trained in counseling. I would try to get the Dad to go too. You don't deserve to be cheated on but neither should you cheat on him. Your kids deserve better.

Answer 3

How can your kids be happy when your suffering. Leave him and try and relocate or get a new job you don't need him. Get your own place and get child support from him. Believe it or not your kids want you to be happy and they are only going to tell you why did you put up with it? That's what i tell my mom all the time. You need to show how strong you are for yourself and for your children. You said his a great dad and that's not going to change. Why be with a man that would disrespect you like that.

Answer 4

No. You shouldn't take that.. but research first. interview a bunch of daycares explaining the situation and find one that is right and wholesome where you'd feel comfortable for 9 hours a day and is affordable. PLay it cool at home until everything is straight. Than make it very clean cut and geet out Most of all B HAPPY!

Answer 5

I don't think you should stay with him. If you do you will end up unhappy and resenting him (which will most likely lead to arguments). In the end if you two are unhappy and fighting with each other your kids are going to know it. Take it from someone who grew up in a home like that where my parents argued and weren't really in love with each other, it makes it harder than not having both parents at home. I grew up thinking i could not trust guys because my dad cheated on my mom and what made it worse was seeing how upset she was even though she tried to hide it.

Answer 6

No one deserves to be cheated on. Tell him its either u or her. Remind him of the kids. Only 1 is his but remind him of the cost. Tell the girl that if he cheats on u ,.what will stop him from cheating on her.Once a cheat always a cheat. I know it will be hard but the children will be better off in day care. Both men u have allowed into your life are losers, ditch them & find a good man.

Answer 7

no way in hell should u stay. Your man is a jerk and i would slap the ****** at work. Sounds to me like you are a concerned mother trying to do whats best for your children but also remember your happiness as well. Dont put up with that s.hit for yourself or for your children. They can still be a part of there fathers life. Doesnt mean you have to be.

Answer 8

HELL NO! are you crazy????
Do you have a girl? what would you tell her to do in your situation? Better yet, is this the way to show your kids to make their decisions? What you would be telling them is this: If someone stands in your way or tries to hinder your success, its not worth the fight.
What you should be teaching them is this: I don't care who you are or what relation you have with me, I'm going to get to where I need to go in life and I'll do with or without you. I don't need the drama or disrespect.
You can show your kids that, with the way you handle your situations, and then explain it to them later.
Believe me, you do have your kids to take care of and make sure their needs are met but I know you'll find another way. We as humans find ways to adapt. You don't need to do this alone but sure as HELL don't need no cheating as$ man who is nothing but a poor excuse for a human.


BASICALLY WHAT IT BOILS DOWN TO IS THIS:
DO YOU LOVE HIM OR YOUR CHILDREN. -EITHER OR NO IFS ANDS OR BUTS. DON'T EVEN TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION THAT "OH HE'LL CHANGE" THATS BULLSHI T WAKE UP LADY

Answer 9

That is a terrible situation. Do you love him? That is the first thing you need to think about. Then, you need to sit him down and find out what he is doing! Find out if he is going to stop or keep going. If you have this answer, you will be able to make a better decision.

You need to be respected, and for your children to know that you are strong. You deserve to be happy, and your children know if you are happy or not (even if you don't think they do)

Good Luck. I hope things work out for you.

Answer 10

What a hard question to answer. Can you handle it, having to see him daily? I know your children are important to you, is this something you think he will grow out of? In the far far future, could you forgive him? Answer these questions, you should be able to determine what to do.

In a different light, what a fu*k'r. Sorry you have to deal with this. Oh and the woman in the office.... well she will show everyone how much of a wh0re she is.