Is this a good reason for divorce?

Question

My husband and I still love each other but I cheated I was the biggest mistake of my life. I filed for divorce so that I would not feel guily everyday. One hour with a stanger has ruined my life what would you do. He has no clue I cheated. I also have made out with a few if his friends I a a terrible person. we were young when we got married before I was out of HS. what do I do now

Answer 1

Getting a divorce is not the answer and in no way will make you feel better. Try being honest with him and tell him what you did. I assume you took a vow that was for better or worse. Hang in there.

Answer 2

Don't file!!! Sometimes, honesty is not the best policy in this situation. Don't let it weigh on your conscience because you did something you feel extremely sorry for, just move on and write it off as a mistake. You could risk losing him or giving him insecurities for the duration of your relationship if you tell him. But if you love him, and know in your heart you're never gonna do it again, proceed with your "normal" life/activities, and press on. Practice being more faithful, you have to WANT to. If you think you're burnt out in your relationship with him, considering you've been together since highschool, then maybe it's time for you both to change and move on to meet new people. If you've been close this long, the friendship should still be there. But if he finds out what you've done, ALL you once had could be gone forever in the blink of an eye. Good luck!

Answer 3

You do NOT need divorce. you need counseling immediatly, with him. Do NOT tell him what you did, at least not yet, but seek immediate help to straighten yourself out. Guilt is a horrible burden.....but if you both love each other and truly WANT the relationship to work, it absolutely CAN. All you have to do is WANT it and be willing to work towards it. It is very difficult to hold together ANY marraige, let alone one that took place at a young age BUT it can STILL work. But it can't work if you dont' BOTH work towards it together. Getting a divorce to ease your own guilt is a very selfish thing and guess what......it won't make it go away. Becoming a better person, figuring out why you keep cheating, and CHANGING yourself for the better WILL ease your guilt in time.

Answer 4

People often turn to others when they are desperate and seeking for attention. I think those were the things you needed that led you to go astray. It's still not too late, maybe all you need is more time to think. You don't have to tell him about the things you've done but talk to your husband about the way you feel. You may have given him hints but majority of men don't tend to notice. You have to let them know! I don't think divorce is the solution. We're not infallible, we make mistakes. Just learn from it and try your best to build a stronger and healthier relationship with your husband. Good luck!

Answer 5

I would be straight up with him let him know what you did, and tell him how you feel and that you would prove to him to change and give it time. If you really want to be with him thats what i would do. And hope he forgives you and is willing to try again. If not least you got it out and told him. Cause im sure sooner or later he will find out. In my eyes I believe once a cheater always or almost always a cheater. Not trying to sound mean. Some people can change, but it takes time and lots of trust. Good luck hun!

Answer 6

I would be honest with your husband and tell him what you have done and apologize to him for this... You owe him this much and you will not feel so guilty anymore and you will feel better inside for it and relieved because you are not hiding it anymore.... If you are truley sorry then ask for forgivenss and vow in your heart to never do this again to him or your marriage and work on the marriage with him but on the other hand if you cannot stay true to him then let him go and divorce him... How can you say you truly love your husband if you keep on doing this to him? I would never do this to much husband because i love him so much and would never want to hurt or destroy what we have together. You need to seek counseling and help for this.... I am here if you need to talk. Please do the right thing:)

Answer 7

as i answered your other question , you need not kick yourself any longer, if you feel at fault enough to have this on your mind to a point that YOU are the one with divorce then i think it is perhaps time you let him be the judge of that, at least give him the time of day to let him show you how big of a man he can be, cheating is not the worst thing that can happen in a marriage, it is child neglect or physical abuse that head that list, if your hormones havew gotten in your way, get some help and change yourslef, you might even forgive yourself over time

Answer 8

Divorce him. He is too good for you. You keep too many secrets. Omissions are betrayals too. Take a good look at yourself and listen to your heart and take some time to get your life together. If your husband still wants to work things out after you are truely honest with him about everything then go to therapy. GL.

Answer 9

You know what you did was wrong so forget it and move on Because you was young and everybody have made a mistake and moved on.Just be glad you did not get a baby or std from doing the wild thing like that.

Answer 10

Counsuling for you and for the both of you could make the marrage work. You would need to come clean about what you did, ask for forgiveness, tell him you will get help for your problems, and suggest marrage counsuling to help rebuild the trust. It really sounds like you need to work on you first though, kissing and cheating sounds like you have some issues. Good luck