I'm 57 and I'm a victim of misadventure. My wife acts like she don't know me any more and so do the kids. Sometimes I wonder why I get up. The world is quick to judge and slow to understand. What should I do?
2006-06-14 11:47:07 · 15 answers · asked by Joe 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
First, stop excusing yourself as a "victim" then do what you need to do to earn back their trust.
2006-06-14 11:54:49 · answer #1 · answered by gcbtrading 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By misadventure, do you mean adultery?
How long ago did this happen? I assume you've already apologized. This is a very deep betrayal for a wife to bear. How would you feel if she cheated on you? (Or am I misreading this, and she's the one who cheated?)
Take yourself to a therapist, or to a clergyperson, and explore together why you betrayed your wife. If she's willing, go with her to a marriage counselor. If she'd not willing, go alone.
This big wound will take a long time and outside help to heal, just as if you've been run over by a truck and need a surgeon. Give it time, but work on your personal wholeness, your character, and your marriage. After a while, work on restoring your relationship with each of your kids, individually. Good luck and God bless.
If your misadventure was of another kind--financial or criminal, for example--my same basic advice stands.
2006-06-14 18:55:54 · answer #2 · answered by MNL_1221 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop saying that ur the victim of anything...that attitude wll get you knowwhere...blaming everything on everyone or the world
(although ur right about the judging...self pity's gonna get you no-where)
take a deep breath...look around you and see what you can change
you say your kids and wife dont know you anymore...
only YOU have the power to change that
be more involved in their lives...
plan family outtings...fun activities...
dont let them shut you out
and never never say that you are the victim...cuz as bad as it sounds...you are part of the family...you have part responsibility for their actions too.
be optimistic. life's too short. be the one to make the difference. everyones gonna be haappier. you are going to be the happiest when you see the results
hope this was helpful
and best of luck
2006-06-14 18:57:59 · answer #3 · answered by cherrypop 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you have done a 180 on your family, I think you are being paranoid about something. Just calm down and talk to your wife. If that does not help, talk to your kids. Your kids love you and you know that. Don't turn your back on them. Just ask them.
2006-06-14 18:56:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, we would need to know what sort of misadventure you had before we could speculate. Best wishes
2006-06-14 18:51:43 · answer #5 · answered by colorist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First clam down than talk to your wife and kids ask them whats wrong. Don't raise or yell at them if they answer in the wrong way. Just calmly evaluate the whole thing and if you can fix it.
2006-06-14 18:51:00 · answer #6 · answered by Piper 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with her and the kids and ask if there is something wrong or seek counseling for all of you.
2006-06-14 18:51:23 · answer #7 · answered by Gabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them all in not so many words to kiss your A,ss and ask whats the problem.You are the man solve it!
2006-06-14 18:52:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you just misinterpret them.maybe they are just busy.try to hang out with them or you and your family have a picnic or go someplace that you think they might like.
2006-06-14 18:56:45 · answer #9 · answered by bunny baby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your saying what I think you are you have betrayed their trust and it will take time to earn it back.
2006-06-14 18:51:10 · answer #10 · answered by drg5609 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋