do you tell your spouse that you cheated or spare there feelings.?

Question

I have had a great 5 year marrage and a big one hour mistake with another man

I filed for divorce out of guilt 3 months ago

Answer 1

keep your mouth shut, telling will only make you feel better and him feel worse. Ignorance is bliss;}

Answer 2

If he will never know you need to think, though it was a 1 hour mistake why did it happen. If your marrige has not been affected (he found out or can find out, your prego and it may be either mans baby) you should be ok. If you truly are feeling the guilt of what you have done you need to tell your husband but be ready for him to walk you did give him his walking papers when you bed down the other man.

Answer 3

TELL HIM!!! Why would you do it in the first place. The best thing to do is be real and just tell him!! If you are scared that he is going to dump you, then you deserve it. I dont want to hate but put it this way, what if your man cheated on you!! Come on it has been 5 years he has devoted his time and energy into you. You say it's a MISTAKE, Mistake or not you still did and you enjoyed it. I just say TELL HIM, the longer that you are with him you will probably keep feeling bad. ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER!!!!

Answer 4

A marriage is when u dedicate most of ur life 2 ur spouse. It's about TRUST, love, and commitment. He will be hurt becuz u have broken the trust between u 2. U should tell him and apoligize but don't think that he will 4 give u. U have 2 prove that u won't do it again. Thats hard prove.

Answer 5

First of all not telling your husband does not mean sparing his feelings... most likely he will find out someday from someone which will hurt him even more than had you told him. If I were you I would tell him, being married means being honest and owning up to each other no matter what. If he made a "big one hour mistake" wouldn't you rather know about it rather than have your husband lie to you?

Answer 6

If you tell your spouse, it could destroy your marriage. On the other hand you may be able to save it, even after having an affair.

If you don't tell and your spouse finds out, it will probably be worse. Because then, not only did you have an affair, you covered it up and lied.

That is a really big problem. If it were my problem, I would tell, and face the consequences.

Good Luck, you need it.

Answer 7

you should tell your spouse because if you think you are spareing their feelings you are not, it will hurt them knowing that you kept a secret like this for so long especially after they will think that things were going great! But when you tell him tell him in a way that won't be hurtfull to him and explain why you did what you did, it is not easy to do that but if you really care for that person you will be a bigger person and tell them and then after you tell them you should ask for their forgivness and make an honest vow to them that you will never to that to them again! Good Luck!

Answer 8

it's best to tell because one day he's sure to find out and he'll be even more hurt that u didn't tell him in the first place......and if u did, he knows that u trust him and there is a huge chance that he'll forgive u. to start the conversation say that u cheated on him and tell him why,when,how and all that he needs to know so that there is not so much questions from him.....then tell him that u've stopped(u have stopped right?) and that it was a huge mistake and that u'll do anything to repay him.....then ask him how he feels 'bout it

Answer 9

Can you live with the guilt for the rest of your life? Can you go through your life with your husband looking at him and knowing you have a huge secret from him? It would be very hard for me to keep something from my spouse - especially something that I would be reminded of when I looked at him for the rest of our lives.
Honesty might be hard, but it is the best policy. He may be upset, angry, etc - and he has every right because you are the one who messed up.

Answer 10

there are not suppose to be secrets in a marrage. but frankly if i know i'm not going to do it again and it only lasted an hour i would spare them the pain

Answer 11

HELL NO! you tell your hubby that you arnt feeling well(down there) that you made a test appointment to see if your CHILDHOOD cist came back on your overies so you wont have sex untill the REAL test that he dosnt know about(A..K.A STD TEST) if it reads clear then you can start having sex with the hubby again....but if it was more of a I WISH I COULD TURN BACK TIME sex night and not a OMG i think i want to me a nimfo(have crazy sez with multi. partners) then spare the guy and tell him that you are leaving him becuz the paths you where both on have takin there spliting ways...NEVER tell the one you married that you cheated......they are already going to be heartbroken enough!