Is it normal to feel this way when you are married?????????????

Question

I have been feeling like I am not good enough for my husband. It is like he is ashamed to be seen with me. Whenever I ask him to go somewhere with me he has a excuse but if one of his friends ask him to go to that same place he is out the door. When I ask him if he is ashamed of me he always says no but I still cant shake this feeling. I am a very attractive woman so its not my looks. Sometimes I think that he deserves to be with somebody that he is proud of somebody who he wants to be seen with. I just feel like I am not good enough for him. What should I do I really need some advice. Please dont put me down I do enough of that myself

Answer 1

This is normal ... I felt this way alot in my first marriage. It does not feel good at all let me tell you... I did not feel loved by him at all and he would look at and lust after other women all the time. It would hurt me so bad i would cry and he would not care and if i told him it bothered me he said stop bugging me about it and never cared to talk with me about it or work on it at all... I ended up falling out of love with him and cheating on him because it hurt so bad... I responded wrongly though and it was just as wrong of me to do what i did to him and our marriage ended in disaster! He did not even want me to wear makeup or jewelry but he would lust and look at women who did. I had no self esteem at all. He was also verbally and and mentally abusive to me and would yell all the time and get mad and throw and smash things. I was very afraid of him. Sad part is i dont think he realized how much he had hurt me and when he realized it he could not handle it anymore and he took his life. Do not put yourself down and be so hard on yourself. Tell you what dress up for him and look good and offer to take him out on a date doing something with him that he likes to do!! See if this changes anything. You deserve to be with him even if he does not realize it. I am here to talk whenever you need to .... I would like to be your friend. By the way i am remarried now and my husband now is wonderul and loving and treats me like a queen and we have a great and loving marriage and i have a much better self esteem now and i can wear makeup and jewelry and whatever clothes i want to wear!!!! He does not look at other women either and he is not mean to me! I love him!

Answer 2

Something definitely is wrong and it's not you! Don't you find it very strange that he'll go places with his friends, but not with you. As much as I would like to give him the benefit of a doubt, he may be having an affair. You say he deserves to be with someone else...well, he may be just doing that. Go with your gut feeling...your woman's intuition. You can't shake the feeling that something is wrong, so investigate. Keep your eyes and ears open... I hope and pray you don't find anything, but better be safe than sorry.... Good luck!

Answer 3

When you want to go some where and he doesn't want to, go by your self. If you are as attractive as you say you are, it will not take very many times for him to realize that he is taking a very big chance by letting you go out without him. Just one too many times is all it takes to become attracted to some body else. Men are very insecure when it comes to losing the old lady. Probably he is worried that if he takes you places, your beauty most likely turns heads and that scares him. Be kind but do what you want.

Answer 4

It might depend on just where you are asking him to go. If it's shopping at the grocery store or clothing stores, most guys would rather pull their teeth out than do this small thing for their wives.
Marriages are all about compromsing, and finding fair treatment with each other.
I didn't like to shop, but I would because it gave me moments with my wife that I otherwise wouldn't have. She would watch boxing with me, though not all the time, but she came to know who was who, and would watch the ones she liked with me.
And, during the b-ball season, we'd only watch the championships because we both felt the time watching all the other games were times better spent within our family.

Answer 5

He married you , RIGHT?? Then if he wasn't proud of you he would not have married you!
Check up on your self esteem, change up your style a bit, put on a little makeup, put on a little perfume, sometimes that's what my husband likes, me looking a little bit different. If I dress and look the same way all the time he looks bored. I like the way he looks up at me when I look a bit different than my every day look!!! Maybe that's what you need , a little flare to your appearance!!!

Answer 6

Wow, sounds like you have a very low self esteem. If this is the case, maybe your negativity is what he does not like to have around him when he is out and about.

All is not lost. Start by talking to him. Find some books to help you see the value you have and build up your self esteem. Maybe spend some time with a counselor that can help you find your way.

Answer 7

Get a grip. If he doesn't want to go out with you than go out with out him. You don't need a man to make your self feel good. Go look in the mirror and tell that person in front of you, she is strong and beautiful. You really do need to love yourself first. Maybe some good counseling marriage or personal will help you realize your worthiness. Good Luck.

Answer 8

That may not be the reason which u r thinking.It would be better if you talk to your husband when u two are alone.And you should say what u feel about his behaviour ...That I think will solve the problem...Just give some time and everything would be alright.

Answer 9

I would try talking to him about it. You may be suprized.

Answer 10

learn to love yourself first