What would you do I need help? asap?

Question

What would you do I need help? asap?
I have been married for 5 years and is was very young when I got married before I even graduated HS. I have a great husband he takes good care of me. We live over seas and I have gone home twice to see friends and family. that first time I went home I was almost raped I never told my spouse. This past time I went home I cheated on him with someone I hardly knew ,every time i went home I was very flirty and kissed several of his friends. I know that this Is terable but I feel like I am missing out. I want to date and be young. I told him I want to get divorced because I know that He is going to find out I messed everything up. what should I do. I can't tell him but I do not want to loss him. We are know in the divorce process and I want him and I want to date other peole what would you do. I feel like if i tell him it will be the end of are friendship. He does not want a divorce should I tell him what I have done

when I cheated I was not really thinking about it . I had alot to drink and it was a big mistake. He will never forgive me if i tell him

Answer 1

Tell him i think he deserves to know what you have done.May be when every thing is out in the open you guys can work it out. good luck

Answer 2

Ask for a seperation for awhile rather than a divorce so you can explore if you really love him or not. I would suggest telling him what you have done. Honesty is the best in all situations. You'd be suprised what he might say....

I understand about getting married young...I did so myself. I felt how you feel and did what you did. I came clean. You know what I learned in the end? That he was the best for me and loved me unconditionally, and was the only one truly there for me. Those that I had my things with....they knew I was married...saw how easy I was....WHY...because i was lacking something from my husband....so they used that to get what they wanted. If there is someone else out there for you....first they will respect you until you are divorced then go from there. secondly you should finish this before going with someone else....emotionally its not fair to yourself in the long run. Take a step back....give yourself a chance to miss your husband....if you don't miss him...well then continue. A divorce can be stopped...for 90 days to try to reconcile....

Answer 3

You are very young and made the classic mistake of confusing "love" with the "thought of love." No matter what you both decide, you are both going to be hurt. The question is, how much pain are you willing to take and give? Your best choice is to be totally honest with each other, realize you both made a mistake and try to end this relationship with a smaller degree of pain than you are headed for right now. It is over. Accept that and move on.

Answer 4

I think you should decide what is more important to you .
And I don't know if anyone has ever told you that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence.Just look around you and look at what he has done for you and then look at what could the other guys offer you...And always remember that every single girl and guy
are always looking for someone.No matter if you think you have it bad or not.You already have what everyone else is looking for...So you really need to think things over before you ever let him go. Cause there are plenty of women that would love to jump right in there and take your place...And they will...Believe me they will...

Answer 5

You can't have your cake and eat it too. You made a commitment to your husband and now you want to be single again? That doesn't make much sense. You have already cheated on him and been flirting with his friends - you had to know he would find out.
He deserves to know what you have done - you should be honest with him about everything. Don't expect him to be friends with you after what you did - you betrayed him and now you want him and you want to date other guys. The fact that you cheated isn't the most horrible thing ever - odds are that with counseling you could work things out if you were willing to be faithful and work on your marriage. You need to be honest with him and know that you have to let him go. It's not fair for you to want to be single and still have him too.

Answer 6

you want a divorce but you dont want to lose him? I dont get it. But it sounds like you're not ready to be in any serious relationship. You are too immature to be in one. You probably dont even know what marriage is that's why you get into it so young. I say you should be alone for awhile and just sleep with guys whenever you feel horny. RIght now, you're just a female who likes to mess around. Not a female who wants love.

Answer 7

i married as young as you did, but i am still married after decades, all i can say is i am happy in never got involved with you.... when you love someone that means that you learn to care about them more then yourslef and if you did you in no way would do the things you have been doing, you failed my friend, tell him and then cut your strings, hiopefully life will pick up for him again

Answer 8

it's going to be hard, but you do need to clear your conscious and tell him.
if you don't one of his friends will.
i was married young and am still with my husband but their is times i think of other men.
i guess i must be going through a stage and would like a bit of adventure and also to see if i can get other men.
my husband went through a stage and wanted to party all the time with out me but i would not let him.
you will need to explain to him that you love him dearly and explain would like to be friends, he will be quite angry at you but later down the track he will calm down.
but do trust me YOU NEED TO TELL HIM BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE DOES !!!!!

Answer 9

that depends...do you want to tell him because it's the right thing to do, or because you feel guilty and want it off your chest? if that's the reason keep it to yourself...but you took VOWS...what you did was wrong...if you wanted to mess around you should have divorced him first...if you really think you need to tell him, then tell him..but make sure you aren't doing it for selfish reasons.

Answer 10

ask him if he wants an open marriage,he has rights,if not,either be faithful or divorce him.you both made prommises 5 yrs ago.