What would you do I need help? asap?

Question

I have been married for 5 years and is was very young when I got married before I even graduated HS. I have a great husband he takes good care of me. We live over seas and I have gone home twice to see friends and family. that first time I went home I was almost raped I never told my spouse. This past time I went home I cheated on him with someone I hardly knew ,every time i went home I was very flirty and kissed several of his friends. I know that this Is terable but I feel like I am missing out. I want to date and be young. I told him I want to get divorced because I know that He is going to find out I messed everything up. what should I do. I can't tell him but I do not want to loss him. We are know in the divorce process and I want him and I want to date other peole what would you do. I feel like if i tell him it will be the end of are friendship. He does not want a divorce should I tell him what I have done.

Just so you know he has not always been a goood man I helped him in rehab for drugs twice and he has been known to drink way to much

we have no kids

Answer 1

Tell him what you've done! Then he'll smarten up and want a divorce.

You a so wishy-washy. I know your age has a lot to do with it, but my goodness, make up your mind already!

Answer 2

Your 'editorial' is difficult/impossible to understand clearly. However, that's not a big issue ... I think I get the gist!


YOU have your HOMEWORK cut out for you, young lady!:

When a Mate is Unfaithful :
... Infidelity - Its Tragic Consequences
... Is Reconciliation Possible?
... The Option of Divorce
... Meaningful Support
... Why Some Stay Together
... Who Is Responsible?
... Children Do Not Deserve Divorce
... Does God Hate All Divorce?
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/1999/4/22/article_01.htm

Why View Marriage as Sacred?
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2004/5/8a/article_01.htm

Moral Values on the Decline
... Is Bible Morality Best?
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2000/11/1/article_01.htm

Can We Save Our Marriage? :
... Trapped in a Loveless Marriage
... Why Does Love Fade?
... Is There Reason for Hope?
... Your Marriage Can Be Saved!
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2001/1/8/article_01.htm

Wholesome Communication
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/1999/7/15a/article_01.htm

Empathy--Key To Kindness and Compassion
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2002/4/15/article_01.htm

Those are the 'ingredients' to the 'recipe' for your homework. Don't 'bite off' more than you can 'chew' at one time. I also suggest that you 'eat' it together. It will guide you to the issues that you need to work on. Together.

You have to decide:
To be responsible, from now on ....
To do what is in your marriage's best interest.
To stop feeling sorry for yourself!
To stop seeking the 'greener grass'!
To grow up! ...
Stop being afraid of being honest for once ...
'Bite the bullit', & take care of it!
Or ... throw it all away ......
It's your choice!

Ethical Decisions: A Trait Distinctively Human
... Right & Wrong - How Should You Decide?
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2004/12/1/article_01.htm

Have a good, long cry!
... Get it out of your system!
...... Then 'hit the books'!

I speak to you as though I'm your parent ...
-- I never had children, and you seem to need one --
Please forgive me if you feel I've been out of line ...
I just don't want you to miss out on

Life in a Peaceful New World [together if possible!]
http://www.watchtower.org/library/t15/peaceful.htm

Sincerely,
"Make sure of all things; hold fast to what is fine."
(1Th 5:1-28, NWT)

Answer 3

Tough one hun. Well, why dont u suggest to him that u both married young and that sometimes u get urges that u feel need to be fulfilled so that u both can move on with your lives TOGETHER. Once u got him listening, take his hand a tell him al lthe wonderful things that he needs to hear about himself. Then kiss him and say, somethings missing and once it's filled we can act like it never happened and move foward. Tell him u need a 1 month to date. Im gonna guess he's gonna be real pissed and hurt no matter what. But its the truth right? DONT have sex with other guys, just caual date. Recommend that he does the same. Now only do this if u both KNOW u are mature enough to handle a situation like this.

About the flirting and cheeting. Hun if u tell him u knwo u automatically risk losing him. Some guys hang in there; MOST DONT but can u blame them? Telling him or not, this is a decisions u will have to follow your heart with.

good luck :)

Answer 4

You are a mess that should not be turned loose on the streets. You need to grow up a lot before you enter into any more relationships. You have done your husband some serious dirt. You do not get "do overs" when you are an adult, unfortunately, you never learned this. Do the guy a favor and let him go to find someone who is decent and loving..or at least can love him ALMOST as much as you lover yourself. Sorry, you get no sympathy from me...you have really screwed this one up royally...for what..a moment of egotisitcal sex...Trust me, it was not an accomplishment to get others to hit the sack with you...almost any guy off the street will do that with...a fence post ... you are not so special, and you have certainly proved that one, haven't you.

Answer 5

You have a high chance you're going to lose his love and friendship!
You guys are already in the middle of a divorce.
He is most likely not going to trust you anymore, be very upset and have feelings of betrayal and go fully forward with the divorce without hesitation!

Answer 6

why is it that you cant have fun with your hubby, go out and paint the town red, why do you have to go kissing other guys and flirting, you are the one who wanted to be married and now you dont, this is why kids should not get married.you should have thought about this befor you got married and ruined your life and your spouses life, is he your age or is he older?if he is older then he has had his fun and wants to settle down, you madethe biggest mistake of your life and his. if he is young then maybe he wants out too. you cant have your cake and eat it too. you can sleep with him but then flirt and kiss on other guys. you have to make up your mind of what you want to do.you cant hut people just because you are young and want to have some fun, it is not fair to your husband. or your kids.you should let your husband know so he can decide what he wants to do about this.you are not being reasonable about this situation, you need to act like an adult now and not like a teenager. you have made lil kid moves and now need to be that adult.good luck.

Answer 7

if you truely love him then there is no need to look no further. the person he was before does not matter now that is the past. seems like you needed time alone to think things out before you told him you wanted a divorce more important you should be honest with your feelings. this is something he needs to know he has a decision to make also.

Answer 8

This sounds like a terrible situation for you both. Try couples therapy first then if that does not work, leave him. Neither of you should be in such a hard situation. Try not to cheat while in therapy and see what happens( I don't mean to sound snippy here, I'm not judging, just suggesting), maybe you just lost the spark

Answer 9

First divorce him quick! He deserves someone better! Then get help! You are definitely not a one-man woman and this will only cause you big trouble later on. Be honest with your soon-to-be ex. Don't ruin his life too!

Answer 10

He is your husband, he deserves to be told the truth. Obviously you have some deeper issues than your marriage. You need to let him be free to find a REAL woman to be with, and then you need to get some help and re-evaluate your life.