Intimacy problem with my husband, can anyone help?

Question

Often when my husband and I are making love I stop in the middle.... This is either because something is physically hurting inside, or something is bothering me mentally (my husband is in the Marine Corp,and has Anger/temper issue's). My husband always sets things up nice music, candle...but it gets ruined with my stopping. My husband gets all excited, and turned on and then he just has to stop flat cold because of me. My question: Do guys loose respect for a woman if this happens to many times to them? Will they just stop being romantic altogether? Do men loose feelings/love toward their parnter if this happens often?

Answer 1

I don't think that it's a question of your husband "loosing interest" in you/the relationship,..
However, he will most definately feel rejected and take it as a personal blow and most probalbly will feel aprehensive to start a romantic pursuit with you.
Get back to basics and try to put 'major issues' aside and make time to enjoy one anothers company, in general , sincerely. Make 'fun/play tiem when troubles and problems can be put aside, for the pure benefit of enjoyment !.
LIfe is too short to not find enjoyment, peace of mind, and contentment,, every day. . choose this.
you both deserve that much, do you not?
If i were you, I think that you should simply talk to him about your feelings and tell him straight out that it is not him that is the 'problem' and that you have things to 'work out' personally and to give you a little 'personal space ' on this issue. You should absolutly see a gynochologist regarding your pain during intercourse, right away ( and tell your husband too)
Maybe you get concerned about not 'being in the mood' and 'measuring up to his expectations,.. as you know the 'mood has been 'set for sex' and your just 'mentally 'not there' find some time to enjoy yourself and tap into your intimate passions and let him know by showing acting 'being the first one to initiate intimate 'contact' .... when you feel 'in the mood' when you are 'ready' rather than him being responsible for the
initiating lovemaking..
Start finding ways to ease your mind and feeling happier abour yourself and who you are. in as many aspects as possible.. ok !. good luck .

Answer 2

You are aware there is a problem with you. Now, its a must to fix you. First off, have a heart to heart with your husband. Explain to him what you have written to us. Next, call your family physician. Talk to him about the pain you are experiencing and let him know about the mental issues. You have either suppressed something in your mind and when you get to a certain level in your intimacy, your mind is triggering back to that issue. Or you are suffering from a major guilt complex. I am sure your husband loves you very much. That is why you need to be honest with him, so that he will understand what is going on and doesn't take it personnel. I am surprised he hasn't asked you about this already. Your husband and you have not had issues about one or the other cheating, have you? Regardless, of the situation, you need help and support. The pain you are experiencing, could also be physiological, an excuse to stop sex in the middle. Its not uncommon for couples to have intimacy problems at times. Keep faith that this can be fixed, but you can't do it alone. You will fill a big relief after you confide to your husband what is happening to you. Hopefully, it want take long to combat this problem and get on with your life, physically, mentally, and sexually.

Answer 3

Imagine if your places were switched and he was the one stopping in the middle of making love - how would you feel? After a while you would probably get tired of it and wonder what had happened to your husband and his ability to have a sexual relationship with you.
You need to talk to your husband about why you are feeling the need to stop during sex. He needs to know that his anger issues hurt you and are an issue in your marriage. As far as you being inpain physically, you should see your obgyn and ask her/him if there is anything that can be done.
The first thing you should do is talk to your hubby and he honest with him. Talk things out and try to come to an agreement. When you are making love try not think about anything but you and your hubby - block everything else out. You might also want to get into counseling - which would help your marriage and also his anger issues.

Answer 4

You need more help than you are going to get here...you have some very real issues and need to get yourself to a pro. If you keep this up, you are not going to have a husband to stop on. What in the world is with this "stopping.?" Why do you decide to bring up all your problems in your head when you are having sex? Do you really hate sex that much you are looking for any excuse not to have it? If so, then cut the guy some slack and tell him he can get all the sex he wants outside, then come home to you. That may work. It would seem to me that, if either of you has an anger/temper issue, it is you, not your husband....talk about passive aggressive behavior..What are you trying to do? Punish him? Well, it won't work for long.

Answer 5

If he feels rejected or some how responsible for your issues it could definitely lead to less romance and for him to be less romantic. I don't think he would lose respect for you. The thing is no one wants to constantly deal with something so good that can turn so bad. I think if you are open with him about what is going on and talk to him and reassure him each time then it won't be such a big deal. I think you should consult a doctor or sex therapist and try and figure out what is wrong. It may be something that physically needs to be fixed, or it may be that you two can only have sex in certain positions. Regardless, keep him involved in what is going on and keep trying to find a solution.

Answer 6

I know exactly how you feel! You need to get some individual counseling. I am going through the same thing and my friend is going through the same thing with her husband as well! When you are reluctant of having sex, and lose the interest of having sex with your husband; that love connection and that bond that you had with him will DIE. Sex plays a very important part in a marriage. A man is going to have sex regardless if his wife is giving it to him or not; he'll find someone else. Even though its wrong; its the truth! You need to get some counseling and try to understand why you feel so reluctant; I'm in the process myself. Just try to enjoy being with him; do different things with him. Massage him and touch him. Do things that will satisfy him; even though at first you'll not want to. You'll get used to it and you'll love it! Good luck!

Answer 7

yes it is a big turn off when a man or women doesnt want to put out sex. you half to have sex in a marriage if it is going to work other wise you might be getting a divorce sooner than later. but if it hurts inside then you might not be wet enough and you need to use a lubricate lotion or you might have some type of infection.

Answer 8

It might create alot of frustration for him. You two should work on this together. If his anger problems are causing you to feel less affectionate toward him, then try to resolve that. Perhaps anger management. Also go to your GYN and see why you are having pain during intercourse.

Answer 9

Its frustrating if (as a man) you don't ever get to have an orgasm, at least one. Waiting, stopping, building tension and intensity can add to it if you do it right. Try not to leave him still needing to come though. Make sure he helps you get there too. If you or he can't then maybe councelling and/or books would help.

Answer 10

It can produce much tension in marriage. You need to confront this together. I coud tell you what worked for us, but you might want to conider seeing a sex therapist; both of you, together.