My husband and I live with another young couple as roommates. I have been suspecting for a long time that my friend's husband is cheating on her and she knows herself. My friend is sort of in denial right now because he'll come home every night at 2am from work. His job is a 24/7 type of job but he comes home later than he should because my own husband used to have that job! My husband and I have talked to my friend many and many times, about how she needs to show and let him know that he just can't run her over! She just doesn't seem to do anything and I think its that she doesn't have any self-worth! I recently found a picture of another woman naked in my friend's husband's bag under the sink. I was looking for some razors and came across this. I know it was my friend's husband's bag because his stuff was in it! Would should I do? Should I tell her what I found? Last night they were just beginning to work on their problems!?
2006-06-14 11:13:21 · 22 answers · asked by ♥Lily♥ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would say nothing. It is up to her to know what is going on in her relationship and if she does not know and/or want to accept it you do not want be the one who is always blamed for breaking up the marriage.
2006-06-14 11:20:33 · answer #1 · answered by Shannon A 1 · 14⤊ 6⤋
I'd say, don't...as much as you wanna help...all you're doing is make her problems with her husband get worse. U said she already knows, and probably the fact she didn't do anything about is that she doesn't want to!! some women lay low when they find out that their husband cheats.
If you give her the pic, or tell her that you saw a pic of a naked woman, she will visualize it, and probably have a hard time trying to get over it, since it's obvious she doesn't wanna leave him.
Don't confront her with something she's trying to run away from.
she decided to live her life like this...don't interfere, at least allow her to save face with you....
Besides, you said that she's working things out with him right now. Why do you wanna ruin that.....just let it go...
Good luck
2006-06-14 18:37:20 · answer #2 · answered by xqueenyx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just say oh who is this and show her the picture. the rest she will come to in her own time and if you push her towards dealing with something she probably knows but isn't ready to deal with yet you will look like the bad guy. she'll get there and when she does be supportive in whatever she decides to do. some women would rather put up with this crap than deal with being by themselves and if thats who she is you'll probably get nothing but frustrated over it. however i would definitely let her know because if it comes out later that you knew and didn't tell her she'll feel very betrayed, he'll offer an excuse for it, guys always do then its up to her whether to believe her eyes or his lame excuse but either way you are off the hook.
2006-06-14 18:20:50 · answer #3 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your friend already knows that her hubby is probably involved with someone else - then you should probably tell her what you found. You could also try talking to the husband and let him know what you found - and tell him how his actions are affecting his wife and his marriage.
If they have started to work things out, that photo you found might be old - so perhaps talking to the husband first might be prudent. You should also bring up to your friend that they should see a marriage counselor.
2006-06-14 18:22:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well let's see i think you should talk to him first and tell him what you found and ask him who it is any why he has it and if he has been or is with this woman. Encourage him to tell her first and if he does not then you just may need to. Be a strong shoulder and friend for her to come to and fall back on through all of this too!
2006-06-14 18:16:35 · answer #5 · answered by Fast Steve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think, that if I were you OR your husband, I would MIND MY OWN BUSINESS! Your friend knows the score, does NOT want it thrown up in her face, and ... maybe in denial, but it is NONE Of either of your business...keep it that way, and stop telling here what she should or shouldn't do..Are you trying to end their marriage? I don't think that is a nice thing to do..everyone has their own dynamics. If she is whining to you, tell her to stow it and do something about it...sh*t or get off the pot. Good luck
2006-06-14 18:19:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay out of it !cause all your going to do is cause problems between your friend and you.so as hard as it may be say nothing,but you can hint around or even get the pic and mysteriously place it somewhere where you know she will find it make sure its in something of his.come on girl think,we women are smart creatures.then she finds out and you never said a thing!
2006-06-14 18:48:57 · answer #7 · answered by blondie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should have a good long talk to your friend and tell her about what is going on.Then if she is not to worried about it,or don't do anything her self, I would just leave it alone and let her learn from her mistakes.
2006-06-14 18:22:43 · answer #8 · answered by jannis p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mind your business. He's not YOUR husband. Sure, she knows it and choses to bide her time. Give the woman some space and stop spying. Maybe you should look for another room mate. I wouldn't want you for mine.
2006-06-14 18:36:47 · answer #9 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you tell her be prepared to lose her as a friend...he'll probably convince her that you're lying...so be VERY careful if you decide to...you have the best intentions I know..but in these cases it's the messenger that usually gets into the most trouble...if I was your friend i'd want you to tell me though.
2006-06-14 18:33:17 · answer #10 · answered by Syeira 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it. Let them solve their own problems and Don't tell your friend what you have found. It may just destroy what they are trying to work out.
2006-06-14 18:18:18 · answer #11 · answered by JJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋