How can I tell my husband I hate mornings?

Question

I hate doing it in the morning. I'm more of a night person. I go to sleep late due to taking care of the house. I hate it when he insists in having sex in the morning. I'd just hate to hurt his feeling if I tell him I don't like it. It's more that I'm very sleepy because I go to sleep late. I clean up after all my kids and him of cousre, cook, wash, clean etc. It's a hard job, due to that I work full time also. I just don't want to hurt him, what is a perfect way to let him know without hurting his feeling? Oh and he LOVES doing it in the morning.

Answer 1

He is probably behaving this way because he's aroused and wants to enter you immediately. In that moment, he forgets about your needs because his desire is so intense. But, understandably, that's not working for you. I believe that his behavior is inconsiderate and insensitive.
Tell him that unless he's going to consider your needs and make you truly part of the lovemaking so you don't continue to feel like an object, you're not going to participate.

Answer 2

My first answer would be to wake up and get ready first. However it sounds like you sleep longer if you could, so forget that idea.

Here is another: If you both get up at the same time, take you showers together and do "it" between shampoo and conditioner".
If I represent the "Usual Guy", I'd say most guys actually find this more enjoyable. There are several reasons, here are a few: It's usually from behind, most guys like that. Soap each other up real well, make a lot of suds; this makes your bodies slide effortlessly, (Reducing your energy output while you're still tiered. Experiment with putting one leg up here and one leg up there. Before you attempt any of this be sure to pick up a really good top of the line shower matt, the bigger the better. You could even put two together. If it works out well, you could step it up a notch and add some additional hand rails (You can pick them up at any surgical supply store and some drug stores. Then look into the "Two Head" adjustable shower head sold by Sharper Image. Go to their web site and find the "Clearance" or "Closeout" section and look for it on the "Cheap", ebay too.
Then advance to water proof gel massagers (one for each of you. @ 14.99 on sale. Check Walgreens.com). From there you might have the courage to visit your local (Or the not so Local) Adult Shop (Porn Shop). There you will find even more toys and ideas so you both don’t get bored, and start to see it as a chore (Routine). Keep it exciting and playful, use your imagination.

Worst case scenario here is you get an invigorating message (Hand and tool), and made good investments in top quality mats and shower heads.

Or: Leave the kids with Granma and Grand Pa one night a week and stay overnight in a hotel, pleasing you partner in the am. You'll find it easier to physically make it since there was no cooking, cleaning, and putting your kids to bed the night before. Most offer a free breakfast too. Check the web for hotel specials close to home. I've been successful in getting them to reduce the rate by up to 80%. Go out to dinner some ware, then cruise the area (5 mile radius...say). Look for hotels/motels that have very few cars in the parking lot. Call those on the phone and explain you got stuck in town an extra night and are calling around to get the best deal in the area. Ask for their "Rack Rate" (Off The Street Rate). Then ask them how low they are authorized to go from that rate. After they give you a figure, give an exaggeratedly long pause (Just past the level of "Uncomfortable" normal conversation. Often times they will speak first and give you a lower rate then before. If not simply ask for their permission to make an offer (Asking for permission is key here). Make an offer of 20% of the "Rake Rate" and mention that you are in the parking lot of a competitor in town and you need to make a decision right now. Then say nothing...wait until they speak first. This might take a few calls but one will always end up lower then the rest. Also remember money isn't every thing. Before hanging up with a "Stone Waller" asks if there are any extras or up grades they can give you in return for you accepting their price. Maybe you can negotiate a four night stay, with the four nights spread across the month. Sweeten the pot by saying they can charge your credit card for all four nights up front (You can always cancel and your credit card will never be charged). Hotels rather give an empty room away for practically nothing then leave it vacant for the night.
Oh Ya! Always ask if you are speaking with the owner, manager, or someone with the authority to negotiate rates (This plays to the ego regardless of who answers the phone).

Good Luck
The biggest sex organ is the brain, so use your imagination, have fun with it.

Most of all never forget that "Communication" in what ever form necessary is the one and only key to a successful partnership!

Now go get some sleep, you've got a big day ahead.
JN
[e-mail]

Answer 3

It sounds like all you are concerned about is not hurting his feelings well did you marry a man or a mouse. I say you have 2 choice you can just say to him mornings aren't the best but if you insist you will try don't just say no you shouldn't do that in a marriage. The other thing is offer some alternative maybe you could spice it up a little more when you do it at night on your time but maybe his terms. So it would be if you do it in the morning it should be on your terms since its on his time frame. Its called compromise all part of being married.

Answer 4

Make a compromise. Sex is not his to dictate. Two player game here. Tell him not all the time. Be honest with him. You have needs just like he does. If you keep experiencing negative feelings about this you'll lose interest in sex and that is never good. You'll come to dread it rather than enjoy it. You won't hurt him. If he is a good husband he'll understand.

Make a deal with him. Tell him if he wants morning sex he has to do the "mom chores" the night before. That way you'll be awake and vigorous and he'll get morning sex like a porno star on a virgin.

Answer 5

Just be honest with him but compromise too. Let him do it in the morning one and that have him do it at night the next time.... Take turns and share! Try getting the kids in bed by 9 at night and trying to be in bed by all and get a good nights sleep.... Compromise here and do some of your housework when he leaves and this will also give you a couple of hours after the kids are in bed to clean and things like that... Hope this helps some!

Answer 6

Some things in marriage you should just do for your spouse but if it's that big of a deal then tell him you cant do it in the mornings because you are too tired from staying up all night. Or you could just lay there and not put any effort into it and then you wouldnt have to use any energy at all..lol

Answer 7

Just tell him you are not a morning person. I read some where communication was key to a good marriage. Just be honest about not being a morning person. However, be gentle on the whole sex in the morning thing. The male ego is very fragile in that department.

Answer 8

Any male enjoys sex in the morning. Biology speaking, testosterone levels for a male are at their peak when they wake up in the morning. Which is why many of us are a lot hornier than normal during the mornings.

The best way to tell him is being straightforward about it with him. Tell him exactly what you've mentioned in your rant and how exhausted you get. He's your husband, he better understand. If he has a problem with it... he has two hands, doesn't he? ;)

Good luck.

Answer 9

Oh, grow up. Most guys like doing it in the morning because a morning ***** is a regular thing for them for some reason. You're married, learn to enjoy it. And then 'make' him have some in the pm. (You won't have to try to hard and he'll feel good cuz he can brag that he does it twice a day.)

Answer 10

My husband is, or was just like that. I kept waking him up late at night for sex and help with chores. When he acted annoyed (not so effective with the sex part, but the chores worked) I reminded him that that was how I felt in the morning.

Answer 11

If you both like to do different things at certain times of the day, then you BOTH need to sit down and have a rational conversation explaining that you are to tired because of what you do @ night or you cannot stay-up so late every other day or @ your discretion