my ex and i split up in march. i broke up with her because she wouldnt get her ex out of our lives. we were together for 2 years. during the relationship she wanted to marry. i wasnt ready for that in my life. recently while in calfornia during army training we talked everyday and wanted to work on us. we still talk daily and even sleep together. when i was getting ready to come home she told me she is quitting her job and moving with her bro. the nite i returned she said she wanted to move with me and get married. she had me propose to her that nite. i did. a few days later she said she is still going to move but needs healing time. she said she wants to work on us and get back together. her b day is coming up this week. do i get the ring? does she really want to get together again? if so why would she move? she also said she doesnt plan on dating. she likes to go out and have fun. im worried she will meet someone. she told me not to date. should i? how do i know she is being honest.
2006-06-14 10:36:55 · 24 answers · asked by jlb421 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
im also moving. i have a great job and want a nice house. i told her she can come here. she said in time. would you leave a job behind to be with the man you love?
2006-06-14 10:38:58 · update #1
forget the ring. Lose the lunatic. Get on with your life.
2006-06-14 10:39:52 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let her walk all over you, she is just taking control of everything so that she could do what she wants when she wants it, and in the end she isn't the one who is getting hurt. You shouldn't be confused about getting married to someone, at that moment you propose it is something you want to do, you are sure of and you have no doubts. Seems to me she is using you..and you are letting her. Don't settle for this, move on, doesn't mean she is a bad person, but maybe y'all weren't meant to be. Honestly if y'all are then it would happen, the right way. Tell her you don't want to rush into marriage right away, why don't y'all be friends for now and work on that before you make a commitment together...see other people and see what the world has to offer!!
Good Luck!
2006-06-14 17:44:14 · answer #2 · answered by micheypoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way I see it, you got two choices in your life at this point.
1. You can sit right where you are, call and check with your gf about every two days or so and ask her if she is ready.
2. Give her some flowers and a note that reads, "I am going to miss you by not being with you and I hope that you change your mind real soon. Call me when you are ready to have a relationship."
Then you can either sit and watch life pass you by waiting for her to heal or you can go on with your job, buy the house, do the things you like to do. You might get a call before you meet new gf or maybe not before? good luck
2006-06-14 17:51:42 · answer #3 · answered by andyman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like she is very confused about what she wants in her life. You need to talk to her and ask her to be honest with you about whether she is ready to be your wife. Does she know the commitment, love, and sacrifiice needed to be in a healthy marriage? You need to find out if she is really serious and ready to settle down with you - then get her the ring. There is nothing wrong with you going to pick the ring out together since you both have been talking about marriage/proposals/etc anyway.
Don't just marry her on the spur of the moment because it's more or less clear she doesn't know what she wants. You need to talk to her first and clear things up, then move on in your relationship with her.
2006-06-14 17:41:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but she sounds totally messed up. I don't think she really knows what she wants. And a lot of these changes she's going through, quitting her job, moving in with her brother, wanting to be with you, getting engaged and then needing the healing time on top of all this,,,hmmm, you know something, hold off on buying the ring for awhile. Give her this healing time and see what she's like after that.
I'm really fighting the desire to tell you to just run for your life while you're still free to do so.
2006-06-14 17:41:49 · answer #5 · answered by curious 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she doesnt even know what she wants for her self. if she wanted to really work on the relationship, then she would have never moved. while u two were goin out did she ever give a suspition that she was cheatin on u? if so then i wouldnt trust her and not get a ring. i know is sound mean but if she really wants this then why isnt she making more of an effort like u did and are doin? just follow ur instink. also if i know that the guy was the one and would also make more of an effort to keep us together, i would move with him anywhere as long as he would do the same for. plus it takes two to make a relationship work
2006-06-14 17:50:20 · answer #6 · answered by shorty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To tell you the truth, it just sounds like she's just stringing you along. A safety net in other words, somebody always to go back to. I wouldn't get the ring. If she's that unstable now, think about how it would be during your marriage. If I were you, I would cut ties and start over with someone new. I know it's not easy, but you deserve someone who not treat you like a puppet on a string.
2006-06-14 17:45:35 · answer #7 · answered by mystic_angel_1707 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, come of it! Read all that up there! Does that sound like a sure thing or a plot to make herself eligible for allimony and military commisary bennies etc.? Duh! Dump her and dance your pants off every weekend until you find somebody new who's not so schizo. And tell here you don't have time to play tennis with your feelings. You're trying to train to be a killing machine for the military and messing with a killing machine can cause a malfunction. Then run away, run away. When you have domestic disputes and you're in the military, they become involved too. Messy.
2006-06-14 17:42:17 · answer #8 · answered by shehawke 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best advice I Can give you is to Dump the Confusing ***** and Move on, she's Not for you if you Didn't feel comfortable in the Relationship in the Beginning and It Also sounds like to me that she's Controlling and Not only a *****. but not considerate of your Patients and expectations....move on Bro!
2006-06-14 17:41:33 · answer #9 · answered by kittysweetie19 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she is the one who is confused, she wants you but want to be with another guy, she cant get him out of the picutre but now she has and wants to marriy you but needs time, time for what? to heal what , over the other guy, she isnt ready for marriage sge just wants you to wait around while she has her fun and decides who she wants . why let her decisde you deside do you really want to be with her and are you willing to keep this guy invovled in the picture because obviously she wont let him go.if she loves you she will pick up and leave to be with you. her job is important yes but why would she make you propose and go throughcall this and then tell you she needs time? thats confusing. maybe she wants to be with the other guy and is waiting for him to propose too. maybe she hasnt let go yet and she is with him now. why does she need to be awy from you if you havent had any real problems, she is using you for something find out what.good luck.
2006-06-14 17:49:13 · answer #10 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can say without really knowing you, but It sounds like too many excuses to just keep you hanging on. My ex is doing it to me now and I still fall for it. But that 'healing time' is a total bull.If she takes advantage of you or doesn't respect you it will never work.And if she's lying, she's only lying to herself. You need a good girl, and she needs a guy that will treat her like ****.She can have my ex.s #.
2006-06-14 17:46:46 · answer #11 · answered by lilybear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋