Why do abusive men have a period where they are really nice and then suddendly a month later are again mean?

Answer 1

because they can't be mean all the time or you wouldn't stick around. if they are nice for awhile you will think that there is hope and will stick around. In reality they are still the same ******* like usual. a wolf in a sheep suit.

Answer 2

Who knows what sets people like that off. Those kind of men just can't handle things or control themselves when things don't go their way. It might be a day, a week or a month that the abuser will be on the calm side-then something will happen and he won't control himself again and he'll lash out and hurt somebody. These people are mentally sick and everyone around them should insist they get help.

Answer 3

Well, for one thing they might be suffering from depression and that just might be the way the grew up. When guys grow up aroung violence in the home whether it's mom getting beat up by dad or by boyfriend it stays with them and that's all they know because their mom's self esteem was low so she felt that she was not good enough to be with some one who wold treat her right, therefore staying with the guy therefor shoing her son that that kinda behavior is okay. So it could be any number of reasons with mental illness being the most common and logical or just what he grew up seeing. A person's environment always affect them in some kinda way good or bad. The point is they are called abusive for a reason. So the reason is he is angry is from something that you have no control over and he needs to come to terms with it himself or he will never get over being angry. Trust me I am 26 and I have been with a abusive man and I have 2 kids with him a boy and a girl. So trust me I know. And I am no longer with him. But I was with him for 10 yrs. we were highschool sweet hearts. He just wants you to stay by keeping your self esteem low then apologizing he's got you right where he wants you. He has to be nice to keep you close so he wont lose you fully. If you love him leave him I had to learn the hard way.

Answer 4

They know that what they did or are doing, is wrong and they feel guilty.
Sadly guilt wears off and he or she, goes back to that abusive behaviour. Then the guilt sets in, and he backs off, until once more the guilt is gone.
It also confuses the one that is being abused, as they may think that he has turned a new leaf.
They never do, abusers are usually that way for life. Only one cure and is to get away from them as quick as you can, and as far away as you can.
Abuse always gets worse, never better. It could end up as being fatal. Sadly, it often does.

Answer 5

They realize they crossed the line and you might leave, so they try to "make up" for the abuse. It's a cycle of behavior. You stay for the good times, and try to pretend the bad ones don't happen. The funny thing is they NEVER change the pattern but the woman always believes they are capable of changing because of the good times.

Answer 6

Because after the rage has subsided, they are actually human and do feel badly for what they have done... But this is just a lull, because when he gets mad again, he will rage and you may be the target.

Please care enough about yourself to get out of this cycle. There are plenty of men who don't do that. Get yourself some therapy and find out what made you find this kind of behaviour so appealing in the first place, then after some time, go find yourself someone who will take their frustrations out constructively.

Answer 7

Because the change moods like we do but they should not be doing this and they need help and anger management classes and as women you dont need to stay around that and keep having to live with the abuse from them. DO NOT STAY with them if this is happening to you as it will only get worse and more intense and frequent over time!

Answer 8

It's something missing in them that make them like that. I also think that abusive men become very clever in manipulating their spouses or girlfriends. They know that after they have been so abusive that they will be nice just long enough to fool you.

Answer 9

It's called "Bipolar." I hope that you're not in an abusive relationship! If that's the case, you need to get a handle on that like quick!

Answer 10

Its called the cycle of abuse.
Everything is fine, then anger, then abuse, then they are sorry and then the honeymoom period when the are nice and then the cycle starts all over again.