Racist Friends?

Question

I have a group of friends who are all very very loyal and have been there for me tfor everything i have encountered in these past few years, BUT they all say stupid *** racist jokes and no matter how much i tell them to stop and try explaining why, they continue to do it. I am well spoken dont mumble or use "ebonics" i dont act like anything actually. what should i do just stop being friends with them. Beat their ***. WHattt

P.S i already made my decision i just want to kno if im the one freakin out.

Answer 1

i am sorry for the stress you are going thru
recognize your own strength & be proud of your african heritage my prince

read more on Marcus Garvey, Malcolm X & Neely Fuller - learn about race relations in the US & you wont have time to hang out with these losers & when you're done reading, you'll be done with fake *** friends

alot of white folx will say "i'm not prejudice, some of my best friends are black" - do you want to be that "friend" they are using for their proof?

they don't see you as black - they see you personally as a friend, but if it is your cousin or uncle, they will call them n---- too.

friends come & go - but you can never run away from yourself & who you are, so stay true to you
p.s. they don't need an explanation when you decide to sever ties - you've already given them one by tryin to talk to them

JAH bless

Answer 2

I agree with the first answerer. If they don't stop when you repeatedly ask them to, that clearly indicates that they don't respect you. I'm sorry, but they aren't real friends.

If you really don't want to dump them, though, the next time they make a racist joke, make an equally racist joke about white people (as I'm assuming from your avatar that you're black). When their feelings are hurt, say "now you know how I feel." If they still don't stop, then do yourself a favor and dump them.

EDIT: To Calcdfirefighter: There is a difference between joking being "all in fun" and mean-spiritedness. If they're true friends they will respect the fact that he does not like these kinds of jokes and will stop making them, whether they're meant to be "all in fun" or not. It's not at all fun when someone else repeatedly takes offense to them.

Answer 3

I'm sure you consider them friends or did at one time but if they cared about your feelings they wouldn't say such racist things that they already know you don't like to hear. The best thing to do is what you have already done and that's telling them how you feel about their remarks. Now that they are not honoring your opinion go on and make new friends...friends that will respect you. If you stay away from these friends for awhile then maybe they will realize you weren't bull****ing them and they will learn to shut up! But please don't put up with that! Hopefully you can at least find one or two good loyal friends that will still be with you no matter what in that bunch.I wish you all the luck!

Answer 4

Frued once said there was no such thing as humor. Which I don't hold to be true, of course, but what he meant was something like people use humor to react to things they fear or don't understand. They can bring something up and if you call them on it, they can back out and say, "what, you can't take a joke?" Very, very few people will keep telling racist jokes if they aren't racist. Maybe you should step back for a little and see what they are to you, what good qualities they bring to your life. If you think they're just insensitive, tell them; if they don't change, leave them and find some friends who don't have to put others down to feel superior.

Answer 5

I'm guessing from context that these are white friends making black jokes in your presence. My inclination initially was to tell you to speak to them about it, as it could be their way of trying to get over feeling uncomfortable about having a black friend. That doesn't excuse the jokes for a second, but talking to them about it might allow them to see that, and to apologize... and it could save the friendships.

The problem is you've said that have tried that already, and repeatedly, to no effect. I suppose you could try one last time, maybe making it so serious that they can't ignore it, like calling them all together specifically because you need to talk to them... and maybe bring some other black people with you, so they can't laugh it off. Not that I'm saying you should bring a group of angry young black men with you, but maybe something as simple as bringing your father along would help. Speaking to them in the presence of their own familes, one friend at a time.

But all that effort is only worth taking if these are real friends who are worth that effort, and only you can know that. If they are just sunny-day friends to begin with, or people you don't have deep ties to, then just get the hell away from the racist jerks and start fresh with some people who care about you for who you are, and who would never think of making such jokes.

Answer 6

Perhaps you are being a little racist twords them...

Or not. Here is how i handled it. By the way, i grew up in and went to an all white school.

They kept that talk up so i had them go on a ride with me to the north side of town where it is 85% black. I stopped the car down there and just got out and left them there. I just walked right into the neighbor hood and started walking. They wouldn't leave the car and people would walk by the car and laugh "whach u doin down here white bread, you belong on the otha side a town" They stuck out like a sour them and they quit talking using racial slurrs and they stopped thier racist jokes.

Try that. It will work for a few days, then it will wear off. When it does just take them to the ghetto and let them out. Call them crackers.



get used to it dude.

Answer 7

they are loyal,they are there for you thru thick and thin. if this is a problem,in public i would 1) continue to be you,just cuz the group acts in a manner does not mean you are following or 2) find a different group to go out with. they should respect you enough to drop the jokes when you are there,robin

Answer 8

uh, don't think there is anything wrong with ebonics, it's no better to be "well spoken". So I think you deserve what you get for making that statemeant. But people make jokes cuZ they are funny. People make fun of me all the time. It's just the fun thing to do I guess, it doesn't bother me when my friend's do it. Because I know it's only a joke. The only time I get upset is when someone I don't know does it, because I don't always know if it's mean spirited or not.

Answer 9

Well first off anyone that continues to use or make racial slurs or statements after u have told them the way u feel about it......are not your friends! Second if they have enough balls to say it in ur presence ......they are not ur friends! Third if ur dumb a-- stands there , still talk them after this has went down......? what da freak? Please love urself people come and go in our lives, these sound like people that should have been GONE before now.

Answer 10

I am in the same situation and i think it depends on the maturaity of the friends. Tell them when they say stuff like that you dont want to be around them especially in public and they cant trip because they put themselves in that position. They have to decide what matters to them they stupid jokes or your company.