I have been with my boyfriend for going on 9 years, he still has not proposed, he is angry all of the time, he blows up for no reason at all, he refuses to have sex with me, he calls me awful names all the time. He is very sweet when he wants to be but the majority of the time he is an a$$****. I have tried to tell him nicely that if things dont change I am leaving. He has a 11 year old child with another woman. He says he wants me to have his children but when I tell him I am ready now he says oh wait 3 years-- I am 27 and I dont want to be a grandma having a baby. I do love him alot but I DO deserve more. He went to insurance school and has the ability to get a job but he doesn't, he collects social security due to a back injury, we struggle with bills all the time, we have never taken a vacation. I need more to my life but everytime I talk with him about it he gets mad and he does nothing. I work full time I am a college graduate and I want a family, house! How do I make him see?
2006-06-14 09:52:32 · 10 answers · asked by jaysgirl82004 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I do love this man and I do want to make things work, But if this is a dead end relationship I need to move on. He has had the best years of my life and he acts like it is nothing. He has mental issues due to a F***** up childhood his mom had drug issues, abandoment. He was also screwed up by his ex ( babys momma ) she left him for another man and married him and I feel he thinks I will do the same. I drill into this mans head all the time that I am not going to do the same thing to him and I have been faithful to him for the entire relationship. I truly think that he thinks that I will do the same to him if we have a child. I need to be a mom soon and if not with him I WILL be with someone else. I have had offers!!!
2006-06-14 10:05:19 · update #1
I believe that you have answered you own question if, a man is disrespecting you at ANY time then you have to wonder if this is a good healthy relationship....this doesn't sound like one I know I would never act or say anything like that to my wife and if I did I would expect her to leave me and I would deserve it. I hope that you choose what you feel is the best choice. Good luck. :)
2006-06-14 09:57:55 · answer #1 · answered by ♠Mike♠ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say but if you have been with him for 9 yrs. and he still hasnt proposed what so ever then you need to let him go. I know it wont be easy because you say you LOVE him and all but believe me it would be the BEST thing to do. The reason why is because he seems to be holding you back in the things that you want in life cause if your saying you talk to him about what you want and all he does is get upset then its time for you to leave him because I dont think you would ever accomplish what you want in life with a guy like that. Im just letting you know my opinion and what I would do if I was in your situation but really think about yourself and LOVE your self before you love anyone else. You deserve to be happy and to me it seems you are misserable....theres alot out there for you so act fast.
2006-06-14 18:26:15 · answer #2 · answered by precious_vanessa_04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you know the answer to this already, you said you deserve more, something better.but then again has his moods just changed since his back injury. It could be the meds he's on are making him grumpy. How long ago was this injury? If say more than a yr ago he should have it under control by now. Id research his meds to see if like mood swings and lack of sex drive are side effects of the meds...could be he just needs to change meds..
2006-06-14 17:01:32 · answer #3 · answered by Johnsangel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you can't make him change, he is a loser and will always be one. I married a guy who seemed sweet and then we ended up homeless, he never had a job, never tried to better himself, and then he started beating me up, so I called my folks, asked them to come get me, and I filed for divorce.
And here's the kicker, after that I dated another "sweetie" who ended up verbally and emotionally abusing me and using me for sex, and he blamed all of his problems on me, when I was the one who supported him financially, almost 100%. And I left him too. Told myself to stay out of the dating pool until I had my head straight about what it is in a man that I want, that I DESERVE.
Leave this guy, you sound really nice, and I know you deserve more, get out before it turns really abusive. You can make your own way in this world of ours, it's not all bad, someone out there exists who will love and respect you and accept you for all that you are, go get your own place, get a job that pays you what you deserve, and see who comes along in life, maybe it'll be a friend at first and progress into something more, who knows? Best of luck to you!!!!!
2006-06-14 17:05:46 · answer #4 · answered by collegebutterfly73 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, read what you wrote. You deserve better than this man. you deserve someone that will love you and won't abuse you by calling you names and all. If you marry him, you will end up divorced or battered, and will have to support him. You'll never have the happy family life that you want, need, and deserve.
I repeat: YOU DESERVE BETTER!
2006-06-14 17:28:49 · answer #5 · answered by Mama Pastafarian 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of it why you can if he cared he wouldn't do and say the things he does. NO ONE deserves to be treated like that. Think more of yourself than that. Someone out there will treat you the way you should be treated.
2006-06-14 16:58:26 · answer #6 · answered by Cat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
speaking from being marred to women like your man, i can say RUN GIRL you need to get as far away from a man like this. if he even does marry you, it would be a real bad mistake for you to think things will ever get better. sorry but i have seen ppl like him just get worse with age and responsibilty
2006-06-14 17:41:15 · answer #7 · answered by harmonyandericjrburns 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if nothing change during 9 years, it means impossible. love is not change the person just accept because people doesn't change their reality just use different mask. life is so short just get your own way and live your life. maybe you are not the right person for eachother. i know it hurts
2006-06-14 16:59:20 · answer #8 · answered by eliaydin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out. Now.
2006-06-14 16:57:34 · answer #9 · answered by RDHamm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tricky stuff seek with the search engines it will help
2014-06-15 08:08:11 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋