My husband has made so many comments about my body and other women's bodies in a negative way, that I always feel ugly. I am an attractive woman and I know this, but the man I'm married to is a pig. I have found a nasty magazine and he has told me so many lies. I'm miserable with him, but I don't want to leave because of my 3 year old son. If I leave, I will have to return to work and put him in daycare. Any suggestions?
2006-06-14 09:15:39 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, first of all, you have to love yourself before you can expect anybody else to love you. If you feel you are attractive, then why are you staying with someone who berates you and makes you feel inadequate about yourself? Take charge of your life, demand more from him, demand more from yourself. And if it comes down to it, would you really rather allow yourself to be mentally abused by someone rather than leave and begin your own life possibly with someone who can love you just the way you are. Don't use your son and going back to work as an excuse to be his doormat. Love yourself and take charge of your life.
2006-06-14 09:19:06 · answer #1 · answered by Slice 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answer "sunshine" gave might work but only if your man is not abusive. If you have any idea that making him really mad will cause you harm....do not do it.
Even if your husband does not harm you physically what he is doing is abuse.
It hurts you just as bad and takes your self respect away.
You may want to consider divorce. I understand your reasons your give for otdoing anything but consider this. You son is young. As he grows he will soon believe that this is how a man is suppose to treat women and will do the same in the future. And you will wake up one day and that same son will be calling you all the same things his father is now.
Get help...if not for him at least for you....then get out.
Remember this. Today he calls you fat..tomorrow he will began hurting you in another way.
You may not feel this fits your situation but follow the link below and read it all.
2006-06-14 09:35:03 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know you are an attractive sexy woman, make his problem with women be just his problem. Who cares what he thinks. It seems you are only still there for your son anyway. Which, personally, I think it is awful you are letting your son see your husband treat you that way. Even at 3, they watch, ,learn and repeat. I hope your son doesn't inherit your husband's way of thinking. I know you want to be with your son as much as possible, but he might respect you much more if you respect yourself. Find a job at a daycare so you can have your son with you and he can interact with other children his age, ask for child support and get a little government aid. Sounds much better than be emotionally abused by your husband.
2006-06-14 09:24:20 · answer #3 · answered by creativereading 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. Go back to work. Put your child in daycare. It will be good for all of you. No woman should be made to feel bad about her body. And your child will pick up on this and think its ok to treat women this way if you allow it. Daycare will allow him to develop social skills. Returning to work will give you a chance to realize what a wonderful beautiful woman you are. Staying for the child isnt healthy for either of you.
2006-06-14 10:46:56 · answer #4 · answered by Stewiesgal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, sexy housewives are only in TV. If your man is telling you that your physical appearance is not desirable, look your self in the mirror and see ... have you put on a lot of weight? when was the last time you got your hair done in a beauty salon? do you know where your mascara is?
Get off the couch, turn off Oprah and make your self desirable for your own man. The poor guy just jave a magazine? Lucky you! most man runaway having affairs with younger women.
Take action now! Good luck
2006-06-14 09:27:21 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying for the sake of your child's well being is wrong...it is not in the best interest of your three year old to think that treating women like crap is OK and that a woman should just mope around the house and be a verbal punching bag for an insecure asshole!!! GET OUT. Children learn from their parents and if that is how you want your son to treat his wife then by all means stay, most kids however prefer their mothers to be strong, loving, and most of all happy. Take your boy and raise him to be respectful of people and teach him to treat his lady like a queen. Your hubby is very insecure about himself and that is why he tries to bring you down, to make himself feel better.
2006-06-14 09:28:41 · answer #6 · answered by centralfiresafety 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is easier to forgive than to forget. Many times when men view porno material they are obsessed with the girls in the pictures. Most of what turns them on is totally disgusting to us as women.
Don't think your 3 year old son isn't picking up on these negative vibes. Do you want your son to be dis-respectful to women or to honor them? I'm not saying you can't work it out-you man needs some boundries and you need some too. When people enter that "zone" set them straight. He needs help. You do too now.
Good luck!
2006-06-14 09:20:17 · answer #7 · answered by educated guess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, is your husband that perfect than he can go around criticizing everyone? First of all, I'm sorry you are married to a schmuck. I know what that is like. One thing to keep in mind if you stay with him. You are raising a son. That son will be learning from his father. Are these the types of comments you want your son to learn and treat women in the same way?
If your husband truly loved you, he would not criticize you like that. If you absolutely want to make this work, your only choice is to tell him how it makes you feel or suggest marriage counseling. Sounds like he's too much of a schmuck to agree to it though.
Good luck. *hug*
2006-06-14 09:20:03 · answer #8 · answered by WiserAngel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey i have been where you are. When i first got married my husband made me feel so bad about myself. I was skinny and he would tell me that I was to skinny that I didn't look like a woman and that I looked like a little girl. One time he even told me that it made him sick to look at me. While all the time guys at work were telling me how hot I was and my sis would tell me he is just jealous and wants you fat so that no one will look at you. But I wouldn't listen and she was right. I even left him one time over all this. (Wish i never came back) but you need to tell him like it is. Tell him if he don't like you then there is someone out there who will. When I told him I didn't give a crap if he liked me or not he did a 360 and boy did he change his tune now he tells me I am perfect in every way. So don't take no crap off him he will respect you a lot more if you stand your ground and he really loves you.
2006-06-14 09:58:40 · answer #9 · answered by T B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you just staying with him because you don't want to go back to work. (if that is the case maybe you deserve that treatment) I feel if a women doesn't want to be treated in a certain way then do something about it. A marriage should not be based on no working and staying home with the kids. Alot of women do it by themselves (work, go to school and have there children in day care). Maybe if you stand on your own two feet he wouldn't treat like that. Please don't take this offensive. Take as knowledge. I know alot of women that stay at home take care of the kids and don't work. And you know what they seem to always be treated like Dog Poo.. Maybe if you show him that your are a little independent he will stop dead in his tracks.
2006-06-14 09:51:05 · answer #10 · answered by KittyKat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋