Should I marry this guy?

Question

I got engaged 3 months after i met him; i truly felt i loved him..but now we have been engaged for 1 year.. I feel he has changed in this past one year.. I look at it from 2 different views.... One: how can I marry a guy who has changed in one year, ..what if he changes more after marriage..(his biggest change is...he use to give me much more time and attention)...and my second view is that ofcourse guys pay more attention at first and give girls more time.... the 2nd problem in this relationship is that he is toooooo close to his family and can never hear even one word against them..even if they are wrong...will that ever change? If later in life a problem comes...I don't want him to choose his family over me

Answer 1

The thing about marriage is, that even if your married with that person for 30 years, your still gonna discover something new about that person. Marriage is a life time commitment, you guys grow old together and you guys learn from each other. Marriage isnt only being husband and wife but you guys have to be best friends first. That is very important. Nobody can tell you that you got engaged too soon after meeting your fiance. Nothing is too soon unless you feel that it is. (My best friend was engaged to a guy, they were together for 3yrs, she fell in love with a different guy, she was confused between those two guys for like four months, and two weeks ago she married the other guy, and they only knew each other for four months. They just got married and screwed everyone else. And so far they are happily married) So nobody can say its too soon or too late, you only know what you want.
Being in a relationship before getting married, is getting to know that person, before making that life time commitment. And in between those years, you learn from your partner, you grow with that person, you learn from that person, people change whether you like it or not, but its up to you, if you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. People these days dont understand what marriage is...they get married and two months later they get divorced. Marriage is a sacrad bond between two people and it should be taken seriously. It should be cherished and loved always!
But if he chooses his family over you, than that is wrong. Your gonna be his WIFE! If he doesnt understand that, than thats not good, and you should be with someone that does. You should be the one he chooses and not his family. Your the one that hes going to spend the rest of his life with, your the one hes going to wake up to every day, not his family. You should talk to him about that, you should tell him that your gonna be his wife, and that his family should come second after you, if he doesnt understand that, than you should not marry him. You need a man, that cherishes YOU first than his family second. He should understand that.
So the choice is complelty up to you, you should do whatever you feel is right and watever you feel will make YOU happy. Marriage is a very important step. People should take it serously. So GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

Answer 2

Wow - I don't want to disappoint you in any way. I've been married over 20 years. My husband would not stick up for me for all that time with my in-laws because he "doesn't like confrontatin" so he is better off making me look bad than to start any problems w/family. No, it isn't going to change. I'm sorry. You CAN always move away and remember though, you may never get PERFECT in-laws anyway no matter who you are with so....
The other changes are just "normal" I think - the way you described them. See, this is why people usually should not get married so fast -- you need to get to know a person before you jump into such a big commitment. Obviously, you have and that is A GOOD THING. You need to decided if this stuff that has changed is going to bother you to live with because that is where the issues are going to come up. If you can get past these changes, you should be fine. I'm just afraid you aren't past them. Good luck to you and remember, you can't expect too much out of people either - it will stress you out.

Answer 3

i did not procedure what gay replaced into at the same time as i replaced into little. when I talked about it, i did not imagine some thing a lot less of it. I merely talked about a boy and a boy protecting hands or a woman and a woman protecting hands or kissing or hugging and idea that they were friends. I extensively utilized to imagine that if a guy and a woman held hands, at ANY age, i idea they were a mommy and a daddy immediately, too. I also idea all cats were women and all canines were boys, LOL... once you're youthful, you spot some thing or listen some thing and for the longest time, you sign up that to be real. would not remember what that's, it really is merely the innocence and shortage of information that in reality a baby can own and it occurs to all individuals, as you will see that from my admission. it really isn't any longer that you're an oddball, this replaced into merely the way you idea issues were like how i idea issues were. diverse, although a similar. Being gay and speaking about it replaced into never taboo in my domicile. My mothers and fathers were open about it, although my father does no longer accept as true with homosexuality, he replaced into never crass or impolite about it. He stated now and again, a guy loves yet another guy and a lady loves yet another woman the way a mommy and daddy do. He never stated it replaced into incorrect or terrible. My mom stated a similar element. It replaced into continuously merely no large deal in our domicile.

Answer 4

You should wait till your sure. Let me ask you this if you had just met him would date him the way he is now. If not then don't marry him. Now think of your dream man. Make a list of all things. Does he have every thing you want? If no... Move on. I know its hard but you got whole life to pick someone. You even have 80 more years to live if you think about it you can spend four years looking for someone else. And he will still be really close to his family even if you do get married. And then will always come first not you. So you will always have to be careful that you did not make them mad. My x mom got mad that I did not let her in my house when I was sick, even though he would never let my mom in. Good luck.

Answer 5

No guy is perfect. But you have to decide if a guy's flaws are something you can live with...for a lifetime. Yes he will change on his own but you can't expect to change him. The issue with the family seems more serious. If you are having doubts, then chances are it's not the right thing to do. Pay attention to the little "red flags" that pop up. It's better to acknowledge them before you get married, even if that means ending the relationship. Listen to your instincts. Cold feet is one thing but serious doubts are another. Don't ignore them.

Answer 6

You should be happy that you took your time being acquainted with him Now that you know him better you can make an educated decision. Too many people rush in and then crash and burn. For a man his wife must be his first priority and the rest of his family takes second place although they are still an essential part of his life. If he is a mamma's boy, then you may not want him. Are you being unreasonable with his family or are your fears true? Think this one through and decide accordingly. It is better to be alone than badly accompanied.
Dr. Love.

Answer 7

Never mind the 2nd problem, it's moot.
The fact that he has already stopped paying attention to you is not healthy. It usually takes a few years of marriage for that to happen. lol.
Really though, there should be a lot of passion in your relationship at this point, and if there isn't, I'm not sure the two of you are right for each other. You need to let him know how you feel, if you still love him.
Good luck.

Answer 8

If you plan on marrying this person, three months is too soon! Even a year is too soon!

You're boyfriend is having second thoughts. I advise that you two cool it down by postponing the engagement, and getting to know him better. If his family disapproves of you and agrees he agrees with them mostly, then this GUY has no back bone and will not be a very reliable husband!

That's too much baggage in your life! And you cannot change a person unless they are willing too!

Answer 9

Girl, you need to reconsider.
This guy WILL choose his family over you or anybody else, because he has already shown his faithfullness to them,even when they are wrong..so that is obvious. The second thing is that he already changed. palin and simple...meaning that the guy YOU actually fell in love with is fading away...in less than a year! imagine a lifetime together..when children may come, and lows of life will arrive. My advice......dont do this.You can ask anyone for advice..they will all tell you tha same thing. Good luck and move on!

Answer 10

well, you kinda answered the first question, I would say if the time you spend together is greatly reduced that could be a problem. The second question can mean two different things. 1. he's a loyal person which is a benefit for you. 2. if it ever cam down to choosing, you might not win that one. Go with with what your heart tells you and have no regrets.