I didn't help her much, and now she says she needs to see if she still has feelings for me. She says she doesn't love me anymore and that we don't have what other couples have the closeness. She misses the hugging and kissing and cuddling and at one point even wondered if I really loved her. We slept in the same bed for 2 months before she finally moved out when her apartement was ready. Now that she is alone we share the kids boy 8 girl 10. She calls me for things that arent that important and we are like best friends when we talk. She requested that I let her make the first move, I want to respect that but how long should I wait. I think she is haveing a hard time being alone, because she is always hanging with her sister or her best friend and doesn't really go home except to sleep. We have been married 15 years but the last few its been all about the kids. She told her sister she knows Im a good guy and a great father but doesn't know why she feels this way. I love her and want her
2006-06-14 08:05:26 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ok people... I work a full time job and at home I help with the kids and I'm the one who cooks cause she hates cooking. However thats all I did and now I notice that she was doing alot more.
2006-06-14 08:16:13 · update #1
try sharing some of the household duties. If you care about her that much you'll do more than your share if you want to keep her.
2006-06-14 08:08:22 · answer #1 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well for starters, why should she come back if she does it all and you do nothing?
If you truely love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her. YOU need to make some permanat changes.
You are a couple, a team, raising a family, cooking, housework and all should be team work. It is not written in stone that housework is womans work, nor is the cooking, laundry and child raising.
If you want her back, you will need to share all of this, plus be willing to cuddle, laugh and have fun together. Once a week or once a month, make it date night, hire a sitter and take her out for a night of fun. But you will have to make the ultamate sacrafice to change to get her back.
Proof not words will work.
2006-06-14 08:13:15 · answer #2 · answered by LORI W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her if she wouldn't mind dating again. Maybe, have a night out without the kids and the two of you can focus on each other. She just wants to feel like a woman again, and saying you love her a thousand times a day is sweet but showing it is something totally different. As women, we need to be reassured and feel appreciated constantly. Can I offer a suggestion? Arrange to have her pampered ( maybe the hair done, pedicure, massage, etc.) by herself, while you spend time with the kids and take some of the weight of responsibility off of her. Then ask her out. Even if she's not ready at least she sees an effort on your part. She is guaranteed to tell her female peers who tend to help add when they see a good guy making the steps to fix his family. Good luck.
2006-06-14 08:23:15 · answer #3 · answered by va_tankz26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something very nice for her without letting her know in advance. Example: Buy her a day at a really nice spa with her sister. While she is out with her sister, clean for her and make an award winning dinner for her. At the end of the day, she will see all the hard work you put in for her and she will appreciate it. That was only an example. Hey it can only go up from here.
2006-06-14 08:17:23 · answer #4 · answered by Princess Buttercup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you admit you faults that's the first step. Your willing to understand how she feels and you are giving her, her space. Understand that before she left she was doing everything by herself now if she is working two jobs coming home taking care of the house her children and her lovely husband that cant help with one thing. That's start to feel like there really isn't any purpose in having a husband if all you contribute to was fun in the bed then maybe she started to feel that you two were losing the true factors in the relationship.
keep giving her the space if you feel you cant wait no more don't feel bad your human with feelings also just be strong and if its ment to be she'll be back home with you
2006-06-14 08:46:52 · answer #5 · answered by a_bug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how she feels she is a human and she gets frustrated doing all those things just taking care of the kids and working two jobs must be hard.Making her feel nice helping her with the chores will help and making her feel that she could trust and get plenty of your help and the love part i think you could do on your own.........
2006-06-14 09:07:40 · answer #6 · answered by lizeth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where have you been?? Why is she doing all the work? Leave her be and let her make up her mind. If you are lucky enough for her to come back, you should start helping her with the housework, kids and finances. There is absolutely no excuse for not. If she realizes that she deserves better, then good for her and you can just suck it up.
2006-06-14 08:10:41 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start dating her again like when you guys first meet. Take her out to the movies, go dancing, surprise her with roses to let her know you are thinking of her. Just do the things that you did in the beginning to try to win her back. Hope it works!
2006-06-14 08:12:58 · answer #8 · answered by confused 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably got tired of you being a lazy bastard. IF you REALLY love her, wait until she's comfortable enough to make the first move.
I know you're worried about her, she just needs time. So be there for her when you can. Plus, its only been a month.....GEEZ!!!
2006-06-14 08:11:56 · answer #9 · answered by shakia27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you do everything by yourself you begin to realize .. you obviously don't need that other person. they aren't doing anything to make your life any easier .... its like taking care of another child instead of having a adult to relieve you of some of lifes many responsibility's. whats the point of that? there is int one ...so why bother having them around? do you get my point? so i can totally see how and why she lost the right feelings for you. shes plain tired. i cant blame her ,and it sounds like the beginning of the end. i would be suprised if you could salvage this relationship to be quite honest. im sorry to have to be so honest- but ...." LOVE ISINT ALWAYS ENOUGH" ...... good luck
2006-06-14 08:12:53 · answer #10 · answered by pinksgirlfriend 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you.
You have got to show her what you are and that you are what she thinks.
Many times, we guys do things we think they (females) want and they do not.
You have got to change to be with her. This is hard. In my own situation, I did all of the changing and she still dumped me. so, I had little chance of success. This might be the same for you.
Good Luck
2006-06-14 08:10:52 · answer #11 · answered by javarick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋