Why does CA law favor the mother/woman in divorce proceedngs, especially when she is at fault or to blame? It is NOT fair!
2006-06-14 07:45:36 · 24 answers · asked by adq65 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Most of answerers have no idea.
In most states the cause of the divorce doesn't make any difference. Cause is so subjective, the courts don't want to deal with it. A lawyer may make a difference in a complicated case but usually it comes down to the numbers.
How long you were married.
How much money do you both make.
How many children do you have.
Based on this information the judge uses a standard calculation to determine the amount of child support and/or alimony.
I have been through the system and pay both child support and alimony. The alimony is usually for a defined period on time depending on the duration of the marriage and difference in earning power.
No system is perfect.
If you think it is unfair for you, go to see a couple of lawyers for a quick consultation about modification of the court orders.
My experience is often the costs associated with the proceedings are not worth any gain you may get.
You could do it yourself but be aware that your ex maybe get you to pay her attorney fees if the judge believes your case was not reasonable.
I suggest you ask yourself if you are comfortable at the moment financially, if you are, it's probably better to do nothing. If not, then at least talk to a couple of lawyers.
Goodluck.
2006-06-14 08:12:48 · answer #1 · answered by northwestguy45 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anyone here who said you had a bad lawyer is ill-informed. Your lawyer could not have prevented her from getting alimony because she committed adultery. In the very vast majority of the USA, that is the case. There are no financial penalties for adultery, you just get to obtain a divorce, even if she contests it. When you marry and you take vows of loyalty, no where does it say that you shall be punished financially if you break those vows. The relationship is destroyed, that is all. She depended on you financially, took a back seat professionally, foregone making an income equal to yours, was entitled and used to a lifestyle by being your wife, faithful or not, therefore she is entitled to financial security for what she passed for the marriage. For what you gave up, other women, you are entitled freedom from her, now that she betrayed you, and to go after other women freely. You don't punish disloyalty with money. Only if she did not rely on you, did not pass up opportunities, and is making more than you, would you not have to pay alimony and would your lawyer have been bad. You're mixing apples with oranges. Money for money, exclusivity for exclusivity, is how it is in this country, and we should be proud of it.
2006-06-14 08:00:13 · answer #2 · answered by browneyedgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CA law may have been a factor. Waht was the income ddifference between yours and hers? That could have also intered inot it. Was the divorce officially for cause wiht adultery as the gorunds or was it "no fault/irreconcilable diffrences" divorce? Also, was your attorney sleeeping through the whole thing? Too bad you weren't here in TN. Adultery wasn't involved but she tried to get alimony from me. One problem, she earned 3 times what I do. LOL
2006-06-14 08:37:11 · answer #3 · answered by orangevike 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way I understand it, it depends on the grounds for divorce. If it is was no-fault, then you pretty much legally waived your complaint about her cheating and the alimony kicks in so she can maintain the same lifestyle til she finds a job or new husband (what a poor soul he would be).
It could be that your attorney wasn't good enough or that all things considered this wasn't as bad (depends who got what I suppose). I imagine a new attorney couldn't do much and would charge you more than you pay her so sounds like you gotta bend over and take one in the keester on this one.
2006-06-14 08:01:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has no training and her main role in the marriage was taking care of the house and kids then you will have to pay her alimony til she gets married or the two years. CA Divorce laws suck.
2006-06-14 07:52:30 · answer #5 · answered by Bobbi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all...ask yourself the question...why did she commit adultery...remember, it takes two! Even though she did something wrong, she is still entitled to her portion of marital assets. The family court system is not in place to make a moral judgment against someone, they are there to divide assets equitably. She's been in this relationship for 13 years and has helped to gain equity in this marriage. It has nothing to do with a good or bad lawyer.
2006-06-14 08:00:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the Justice System for you. She can get a job and support herself like men do. What ever happened to "you reap what you sow?" She was willing to play so she should pay. Paying support for children is different because what parents do isn't their fault. But ADULTS should be able to suffer the consequences of their own actions. So I have to agree with you ---IT IS NOT FAIR. And hey this is coming from a woman.
2006-06-14 07:56:40 · answer #7 · answered by Tears-4Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not alone. I did not have to pay alimony, but I did have to pay everything else. It is not right and I do believe there is a group of men that is trying to change the situation in this country.
2006-06-14 07:49:18 · answer #8 · answered by icemountian8 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This hire a better lawyer is a bunch of crap. All states are biased to men when it comes to Alimony and children. This really sucks!
2006-06-14 07:55:06 · answer #9 · answered by Scott C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hire a better lawyer, if she was the adulter you should have custody of the children with her paying alimony to you.
2006-06-14 07:48:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋