Does it matter that a baby has to share a room with his parents?

Question

A friend of mine lives in a small one bedroom apartment with her new husband. They have a lot of debt so they cannot afford a two bedroom apartment.

Their apartment is 500 square feet and they have two cats living there too.

The husband wants to wait another year until they pay off their $5,000 credit card debt and stop living pay check to pay check. The wife (my friend) wants to get pregnant NOW.

She said she will have the baby's crib and toys in her room and may move in a few years to a place with two rooms. So their child will share their room along with two cats.

I think its unfair to the baby. Yes the kid won't need his or her own room for about a year, but I think its irresponsible to not wait and give the child more in life and pay off debt before you have a child.

I didn't tell her how I felt, I support her regardless, but I don't think she will be able to pay off any debt for a long time with a newborn child!

Do you think this is fair?

Answer 1

Sometimes you don't have a choice. look I have a 2 bedroom and my son is 17 months old, you know how may times he has slept in his own room? 0!! he sleep sin the room with us. i don't think it really matters, at least it doesn't at first once the child is about3 then you should have their own room.
Now about the Debit, the Husband is right!! you need to wait until you financially ready!! babies cost ALOT of money!!!! and if you have no money you cant support your baby!!

Answer 2

I think your question isn't worded the best way. What I mean is I think it sounds like you think it's not right to get pregnant if they are in debt - maybe having a baby would be too much of a financial strain. I do think they should get all their financial "ducks in a row" before they think about having a baby because it is expensive. But as for sharing a room I think that part is fine and really no one else’s business. I have two children and live in a 3 bedroom house. My husband and I do not plan to move for another two years but are trying to have a baby now. In nine months or however long it takes us we too will share a room with our new baby and I think that it is perfectly fine. After a while year or so we will move that child into one the other kids room to share until we get another house.

I personally think sharing is fine. For one you are able to better keep an eye on your child during the time when they are most susceptible to SIDS.

As a friend I think you need to just support and be careful about being to judgmental it may cause hurt feelings and distrust.

Answer 3

Everyone has their own version of fairness . I somewhat agree with you . When I was pregnant my boyfriend and I moved in together . We signed a one year lease for a one bedroom apartment , knowing that our lease would be up just before our soon to be baby would turn one year old . It was a larger apartment I beleive 800 sq. ft. We ended up moving out by the time she was only 3 months old . There is just not enough room , newborns , have and need soooo very much . However if your friends are truly in love and want to have a baby tell them your concerns and explain why you feel the way they do . Hopefully for the babys sake they will listen . Also there is a law in most states that forbids a child to be in the same room as its paretns after its first birthday , and I wouldnt be crazy about cats being sooo close with newborns . They have smothered sooo many babies . That is a definate concern to consider .

Answer 4

I was a young mom when I had my first child and I had to share my room with her. I split it in two. Now I know that it is nice to have the whole white picket fence no debt and a nice house first but it doesnt always happen. I am now 26 w 4 kids however I have a nice hom and my daughter has her own room and my three boys share the master bedroom, just becasue they dont have a room doesnt mean you or your child isnt as good as the kids n parents that do have it. love is most important and I dont think there is any right time to have a baby.

Answer 5

No, it doesn't matter that a baby shares a room with his/her parents. In fact, co-sleeping has been around for generations and has been making a comeback for some time. The only drawback is that it takes a huge amount of effort to train the child to sleep in their own bed/bedroom (they get used to the noises in the parent's room).

The one alarm that is really going off in my head is the cat issue. Young children, especially babies, can get seriously ill when exposed to cat feces, called toxoplasmosis. Cats don't smother babies, that's an old wives' tale, but they do like to cuddle and this could cause allergies to pet dander. Babies are very susceptible to airborn allergens and, since the baby isn't even in utero, let alone here in the world, it's difficult to determine how the baby will be born (jaundice, breathing problems, premature, etc.).

I think it's wise for them to pay down their financial burdens and get into a bigger place and find an alternative to having the cats indoors if they are serious about getting pregnant. Even while mom is pregnant, exposure to cat feces is dangerous.

Answer 6

I recently gave birth to my daughter who is now 5 months old...she has a nursery but for about the first 3-4 months she slept in a bassinet in our bedroom...As far as your friend being in debt and wanting to get pregnant I think it would be a good idea for them to try and get in a better situation financially before having a baby for the baby's sake but I can't preach cause my husband and I are still trying to get financially stable..As for the cats eeewww I don't like cats and with two around a baby I would make sure the baby is safe from them.

Answer 7

it is more common place no and days where the couple is keeping the baby even closer to their bedside but on the other hand it is not fair to what they are trying to achieve. last time i checked baby's come with a nice little expense package. from delivery down to the diapers.

it is their own business but if ur a true friend you would try and get her to see all the negatives about this idea. it sounds like the hubby is the only bread winner in the household so i imagine he is taking it kind of hard but of course he's not gonna say anything because that sounds like it is making her happy. have a nice day and god bless u my friend

Answer 8

I agree with you and I think that you should share your thoughts with her. . . She should wait until she is financially prepared to have her child., she will be able to provide more and also the fact that they are newly weds, they should take that year to spend time with one another and do couple things . . . But, all you can do is share your feelings with her and if she does not agree, then, if you are a friend, either way support her...

Answer 9

it really is totally sweet that you may grant to percentage a room with the toddler, yet i desire your doorstep-mom gained't anticipate it. you may no longer could manage the commonly used jobs of sharing a room with the toddler, because no matter in case your doorstep-mom is the single feeding her, it really is going to wake you in the evening at the same time as the toddler cries for a diaper replace or a feeding. And ideally, it will be better appropriate on your doorstep-mom to have her closer in this time and not could get up and are available into your room, and also on your doorstep-mom to have yet another area to attempt this so she would not could agonize about demanding you in the course of the time it takes to get the toddler treated. by ability of the time the toddler is sufficiently previous to no longer be reliably snoozing in the course of the evening, she can also be toddling round and waiting to detect so that you're going to desire your own area that you do not could agonize about always holding "toddler info." My husband and that i have a three-bedroom domicile and merely had our first baby - yet the different 2 bedrooms are on the different aspect of the domicile from our bedroom. We had determined to save our little female in our room with us in the beginning, even though it were given to be too a lot for my husband to take. So we are installation the toddler's area partly of our residing room/eating room area until eventually she receives older so as that she's no longer up to now far off from us. in the adventure that they are unable to have the toddler of their room, perchance your doorstep-moms and dads would also workout consultation some arrangements to apply yet another area of the domicile quickly, as well.

Answer 10

It is irresponsible of your friend. She should want her child to have the best, not bring it into the world living in cramped quarters with no financial stability.