not virgin before marriage .i just had one boyfriend before and he ditched me .Now I feel guilty that i did not tell my husband.Should i tell him now?i was scared to tell my husband before marriage asumming that if he come to know the same he will never marry me.i want to live with him forever and i love him to the core. but i feel guilty by not telling this truth to him .He asked me once and i lied to him.
pls help me to know wheather i should tell him now ?This thought is haunting me.
2006-06-14 06:31:26 · 11 answers · asked by pinku 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Does he think you’re a virgin? I think you should tell he just what you told all of us. If he really loves you this should not be the determining factor to whether or not the two of you’ll get married. He really should be understanding about this small “oversight”.
2006-06-14 06:35:16 · answer #1 · answered by Ray-Ray 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's tricky. I'm not encouraging you deceive him by any stretch. Was your husband a virgin when you two got married? Or had he been with someone else, too? Depending on what the answers were to these two questions would be how I determined to answer the question. If he HAD been with someone else then really he has no room to get too upset with you. If he had NOT been with someone else then maybe the thing to ask yourself is how much of an impact this information could have on your marriage? If he's going to up and leave you because of it then I would not risk my marriage over something that he would probably never be able to find out about anyway. If you think he would be understanding then it may be worth getting this off your chest. That's a hard call.
2006-06-14 06:40:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had a friend who had the a similar problem although she's not married. This is just my opinion.
If a guy really loves you, you don't really have to worry whether if you're a virgin or not. The mere fact that you feel bad about it describes your own values. It personally matters to me if the woman i marry is a virgin or not, BUT I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. What matters to me is I KNOW and that she is honest about it. It'll also test whether I really love her. True love is unconditional. Virginity is not what/who i am marrying, it's the whole person/soul I'm marrying.
If he really loves you, he should understand how you feel. If you can't let go of the past and it bothers you so much, tell him your feelings honestly. Transparency is critical in marriage. Don't let dishonesty add up in your marriage. Communication is key.
Good luck!
2006-06-14 06:43:43 · answer #3 · answered by Jivan S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is good to tell the truth. But, are U prepared to face the disaster. It is only U feeling guilty conscious of what had happened in the past. But, Why bring up the subject now? If your partner is not particular who U are and what had happened to U before, Why must U disclose. Be optimistic. Look forward in building your loving and caring relationship with your partner Don't offend your partner by telling him who U are or what had happened to U in the past. Some people don't even bother about someones status. The most important thing is both of U are happy with one another.For your feeling guilty conscious , do your prayer and beg for forgiveness. Your prayer will be answered. Don"t do it or else your hubby will feel he is being cheated.
2006-06-14 06:59:50 · answer #4 · answered by abta 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you should have told him before marriage cuz thats call trust and now if you do tell him you will hurt him but its better now than never! He needs to know this! Be honest with him and he may be mad and not talking etc but now you will have to take the blow from him cuz you lied to him. Telling you from my experience i told my husband EVERYTHING before we got married it wasn't a nice feeling to tell and also ask him the same stuff hurts a bit but now we joke about it once in a while etc he trust the way trust him!! These things are very important in a marriage to be honest with each other cuz he is suppose to be your best friend whom you can share anything with.... you laugh, joke, yell, cry and in the end kiss and make up! You should be open and honest with each other to talk of any and everything with each other!!
Go for it tell him cuz a virgin does bleed on her first time and that's why he probably did ask you if you lied to him cuz he already has figured it out and he needs it to come from you!!
2006-06-14 06:42:47 · answer #5 · answered by Pari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it bothers you that much you should tell him. Its really not that big a deal in this day and age. If you CAN just forget about it then that what you should do, it would be easier on both right now. But if the idea of the secret and the lie is gonna tear you up inside then you better tell him. If he loves you which im sure he does it will be much better in the long run. If he is basing all his love on the fact that he thought you were a virgin then he's a looser anyway.
2006-06-14 06:39:58 · answer #6 · answered by Grin Reeper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not worry about it. DId you tell him every kiss you had? Every person you held hands with. Does this have anything with the religon you are? I know when I was a certian religon sex before marriage was a bad thing. The only reason I would tell him is if it making you drift apart. If it is then spill otherwise forget about it. It's in the past. it's not like you slept with someone while you were married.
2006-06-14 06:37:39 · answer #7 · answered by La Dee Da 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you already lied .. now you are going to turn around and tell him you slept with some one else before him and that you lied to him about it .. just let it go .. it not like it will change the person you are .. I think you are making to big of a deal out of it .. put it out of your mind and move on with your life..he might think you are lieing about other things if you would lie about that .. I think you should leave that aunt hill alone , or it could turn into a mountain
2006-06-14 06:41:22 · answer #8 · answered by blueflowerscs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think he will be upset, don't tell him. If you tell him now, he will feel trapped and maybe even go out and "punish" you in a passive-aggressive way.
It's not as if you cheated on him, so I do not think that keeping your secret would be a betrayal.
2006-06-14 06:59:56 · answer #9 · answered by angry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that u were a tennis player
Sports women loose their virginity during their playing days
2006-06-14 06:36:29 · answer #10 · answered by jitu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋