Do Bisexuals hurt the gay and lesbian fight for understanding and equality?

Question

My lesbian friend tells me that she feels very strongly that bisexuals hurt the gay and lesbian cause because straight people "percieve" bisexuals as making a choice and since they can - then all gays and lesbians must also be making a "choice" to live in a world where they are hated and abused, which of course, is ridiculous that anyone would choose to be this way. She feels that bisexuals hurt us and have no place in the gay and lesbian community. How do you feel about this? Where do you think that bisexuals fit into the community? Are bisexuals really just trying to conform and not being true to themselves? I don't know how I feel about this issue of bisexuals hurting the overall gay cause.

Answer 1

That is just ignorance, a simple lack of education on the issue. Bisexauls do not have a choice anymore then a lesbian/gay or straight person does. Bi people have feeling for both girls and guys, but they one stay with one (marry either a girl or guy.) But whoever that bi person ends up with she/he is still bisexaul. The girl that marries a man is still bi, she doesn't try straight. Or if the girl marries another woman she is still bi, not a lesbian!! Kicking people out of your "gay" club is just dumb. It's like nether side wants to own them because they are scared of them, people fear what they don't understand. It's sad really. Not only do many bi people have to "prove" themselves to the straight community but now to the gay/lesbian community too, and they should know the about the "your not real" lie.

Bialogue tells about the fight bisexauls must face just to love who they love. Link: http://www.bialogue.org/index.html

Edit: I found a web-page your lesbian friend should look at giving many myths and realities about bisexuals, please have her read it. http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Coming_Out_as_Bi&Template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=32351

Also please read the myths page too and tell me what you think now. Thanks.

Answer 2

Although I do understand the point your friend is making, and how some people might perceive it that way. However, what is important is that, they bisexuals have the choice of who to ldate, they never had the choice of being attracted to both sexes. Bisexuality is as much of natural, born-in, not chosen trait as hetero, or homosexuality. They just have a wider variety to choose from. But there are people who will see it that way your friend suggested, but those people will always try to find an excuse to make it seem like it's a choice .

I think bisexuals still help the gay and lesbian cause because it is still an :"alternative" lifestyle. Plus, a bisexual person has a greater chance of befriending a heterosexual person while they are in a male-female relationship. The more people who meet anyone who likes the same sex, the better chance a heterosexual has of accepting these lifestyles. Does that make sense or am I not explaining it well?

Answer 3

I'll be the first one to admit that I'm not the most politically motivated lesbian around. As pessimistic as this may sound I think that the gay community has a LOOOOOONG way to go before we'll be recognized as equals and have the same rights as the heterosexual community. The world just isn't ready for us yet. With that being said, I do not feel like that any of us has much of a choice WHO we fall in love with. I had NO intention of falling for my partner at all. But I did. Gay, straight, bi....we're equals in the eyes of God.

Answer 4

I feel ( as being bi ) I do have a choice. Why must I choice between a man or a woman if I like both? I will not conform to anyone but me. That is why I have the choice between a man or woman. If the gays and les have a problem tough sh*t. I stand up for they right just as much as they do. i think the last thing they would want to do is piss off people who are on their side.

Answer 5

I think that if gay people need to oppress bisexuals in order to get equality, that is extremely f*cked up. If they can't win their rights on the basis of reality (a reality that includes bisexuals) and merit, then they don't deserve it. Becuase it is not acceptable to drag down others in order to pull yourself up, as an oppressed group, gay people should understand this.

The fact is that bisexuals are here, we're bi, get over it. Gay rights are my rights. It's not like I get special perks for being bi. I still can't get health insurance for my girl, I still can't adopt my kids, I still have to file seperate tax returns. I still get beer bottles thrown at me when I walk down the street holding her hand or cantelopes thrown at my windows (strange but true). I fail to see how I'm "trying to conform" here. And I'm extremely offended at the idea that me and my girlfriend shouldn't be accepted in the community because we're both bi.

You know what hurts the gay cause? Division. Seperatism. Biphobia. Stupid a$$ prejudice. The desire to step all over others to get what you want aka being a selfish b*tch. Everyone, gays, lesbians, transpeople, bisexuals, queers, gender queers, and straight people can and should be a part of the gay rights movement. And anyone who thinks that I shouldn't be there just because I also like dick can kiss my a$$.

Answer 6

I was born a man at around 14 years of age I gave my friend a b j after I dressed as a girl. Iam 54 now all that time anytime that I went to bed,had sex with a man I was dressed as a woman. I would never have sex or go to bed with a man as a man. I think act and dress as a woman Now if that makes me gay well so be it. I belive that I am a woman traped in a man body. Nancy Blow

one more thing if I were a girl I would still be bisexual because I love men as a woman and I still want to have sex with a woman too.

Answer 7

Gays and lesibans were born the way they were, and bi-sexuals were aswell. Why can't people see this? If lesibans and gays want to be accepted for being born this way, they must accept that other people are born other ways too. I can't help the way I feel, and it would make my life a hell of a lot easier to be one or the other, but I've accepted myself, and wish that other people would get down off the pedestal they have put themselves on, and accept us too. It's all down to not understanding, some straight people don't understand gays/lesibans, and some gays/lesibans don't understand bi-sexuals. It's about time we dropped all this not understanding cr*p and just accepted people for what they are.

P.S A lot of straight people also believe that gays and lesibans make the 'choice' too.

Answer 8

Just because us bisexuals have a choice of who we may think is hot or what ever doesn't mean much. Gay people 'choose' who they like too. I don't mean men and women either. It bothers me when some gay people put bi-sexuals down because I didn't choose to be this way.

Answer 9

As a bisexual I am more persecuted than simple GLT peeps. because GLT's all accept each other for who they are but I am constantly told that Bi is just a road stop on the way to Gay-ville. I am sick of it. I like women I like men I want to do both get over it you fu

Answer 10

Your girlfriend is right, Bi's can always deny about their "gay" side when confronted in a negitive way.