i was married 6 months back. everything was running smooth until one day my father who is very aggeresive started absuing me and my wife. He now does not speaks to my in laws, to us. we dont know what does he wants. he says that we donot respect him but thats not true. he is very very aggerisive and egoistic. earlier my brother and mother were with me now they also have to give their favour to him as they are afraid of his anger. now my wife is pregnent also and then also he is not listening anything. we dont know what should we do. we donot want to leave them either. i m trying that any misunderstanding should not be created between me and my wife due to these circumstances.
2006-06-14 06:15:02 · 7 answers · asked by nick 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You committed your life to your partnership with your wife when you married. Do not allow your father to believe that he is the head of your household now. Abuse cannot be tolerated. Tell him gently and kindly of the boundaries that you and your wife require. If he cannot abide by them sadly, this may be the start of a hiatus in your relationship. Maybe in the future you can welcome him back into your life but remember that this needs to be done on your own terms. If your father is in need of medical help--you might assist him in acquiring it. Remember though, it is not your responsibility to get it for him. Your responsibility goes first to your family (which is your wife, you and your soon to be little one.)
Peace!
2006-06-14 06:21:03 · answer #1 · answered by bortiepie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am trying to figure out whats happening here, but without additional questions answered I will just have to do my best and generalize a bit. Hopefully this will help. I am not sure what is the cause of your father's anger. Did something happen or did someone say something to turn him around so much? Is it a sudden change after he was a completely wonderful father before? Let's just say for the record, that the man now has a problem. If he abuses you and your wife, he propably does the same to your mom and the brother. That is why they appear to be on their side... because they are affraid of him. It is illegal and he needs to be treated. Two; No One Has the Right to Disrespecet You in Any Way and Fashion! EVER! If he gets angry or abusive, try to stay away from him and for goodness sake.. keep your wife away from him. Best would be to completely separate yourself and your wife from his company. You will have a much better life if there were just the two, well soon three, of you. And speaking of the third one. If he is an abuser, I would absolutely never let him anywhere near your child. Life is about choices and he is making the wrong ones. You sound like a good husband and caring father. Stay that way and show your strength an support to your wife by keeping your family safe and happy. Remember the old saying "With family, you look best on the picture"? Well, just lead your life the way you and your wife want, not your abusive father. At the end I have to say, that because I don't know the full situation, your father may have gotten a prescription that doesn't work for him or something drammatic happen that we don't know about... All I know, he has no right to mistreat or disrespect you. Remeber that. However if he was a loving father before, he deserves a chance and that would be you trying to help him with some medical help. He needs to recognize the problem that IT EXISTS and get help. There are organizations out there that wil help you with your situation. You can consult your doctor or call a local shelter and ask for their resources on how to get help for someone like your father. Good luck!
2006-06-14 13:58:56 · answer #2 · answered by Growing Millionaire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you are married you and your wife are suppose to be one, cleave into each other. That does not mean you have to disrespect your father. But it does mean you have to make a life of your own, as your father did when he married your mother. Now in response to the abuse, you should not expose your wife to your fathers behavior. This is disrespectful to her. She is suppose to be the most important person in your life now, not your father.
You do not need to allow your father to come between you and your wife. Be a man and he will respect that. Maybe not right now..but eventually....make your own way...your own life. I sincerely wish you the very best.
2006-06-14 13:23:32 · answer #3 · answered by Pammie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to move on. Those in your life that you love will not always understand and maybe not even for good reasons but you can't let them hold you back or block your blessings. Let him know you love him but don't let him take up to much of your time and energy. You have a child on the way focus on that blessing.
2006-06-14 13:19:03 · answer #4 · answered by kiki_t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that your father has problems, get him some help nd keep him away from your wife.
2006-06-14 13:19:17 · answer #5 · answered by baby_luv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
children are meant to leave their parents. it is our nature, even the birds know this. if your father is abusing your wife then you definately should know that it is time to leave.
2006-06-14 13:20:25 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
remove that from your life that causes pain...it is not up to you to fix his issues, it is up to you to love your wife and grow your family in a healthy environment...stand up to him and let him know you will not allow him into your life until he respects you and treats your accordingly
2006-06-14 13:23:11 · answer #7 · answered by twentythree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋