I worked with this guy for about a year, he was dating this girl for about 5-6 years and all he did was complain about her, well him and I would hang out, and he would come over and stuff, and well things happend if you know what I mean. So I told him how I felt and he said that he felt the same way, but with his g/f living right across the street from him it would be hard for him to be with me, so we just remained friends. Well 5 months ago I got married and I'm not very happy with my decision, than a few days ago I received a phone call from that guy I worked with and now he's single and I really want to be with him, we are perfect for each other, and I don't know what I should do. Please help me with mature answers.
2006-06-14 06:03:48 · 21 answers · asked by dolphin_0117 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You weren't very serious about your marriage vows, were you? Five months married, and you are ready to ditch the minute some has been rings you. Divorce your husband. He doesn't deserve to be married to you.
2006-06-14 06:07:10 · answer #1 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not trying to be insensitive to your feelings, but why did you marry someone else when you still had feelings for this other guy? Marriage is a lifetime commitment. When you say those vows it is supposed to mean something. Did you not know your husband very long before getting married? Is that why you are now unhappy with your decision? I hope he isn't hurting or neglecting you.
The guy you used to work with should've broken up with the gf and chosen you. But he didn't. Do you know why?
The significant others in our lives should always be first. I'm concerned about this guy because he had a gf and showed interest in you. Not signs of a faithful guy. I wonder if she knows what he was doing. And, he knew you were interested in him, complained about her, and still chose her over you. Again, not a great sign of commitment to either of you.
If I was you, I'd run away from this guy as fast as I could. I'd try to make my marriage work. Try counseling. I'm not sure what the issues are in your marriage, but if you sincerely try and there's no hope, then of course you have decisions to make.
But just remember this...trust, honesty, and communication are critical in a successful relationship.
2006-06-14 06:15:36 · answer #2 · answered by DMarie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about your husband? Is he happy he married you?
You are in a relationship and all you can think about is your own gratification.
This other guy, made you wait. Said you could not be together because the other girl lived across the street??? If he wanted you bad enough, he could have moved. You waited long enough, moved on, and married someone else. If you had deep feelings for this other person, you had no right to marry someone else and ruin their life.
Is that a mature enough response for you?
2006-06-14 06:11:15 · answer #3 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the guy you married is in for a huge letdown. Why would you marry someone if you weren't genuine? If you have doubts, than think about wether it's worth it or not to consider trying your marraige. If you know for sure you aren't committed, than you should get an annullment. (spelling?) You don't want to give up on a marraige and then have your relationship with this guy fail as well. Do you know if he's even interested? You took the vows of marraige, and it seems like it was just a joke for you. Sit down with your husband and express your feelings. If you are honest, things will either get better, or you'll split.
2006-06-14 06:10:51 · answer #4 · answered by mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish people would take marriage a little more serious. It sounds like you married for the wrong reasons. Desperation? Loneliness? Getting older? You should let your Husband know that you are not happy or tell the 'worker guy' to not call. You have to be a big girl and make a decision so you don't ruin hubby's life as well. If you are not happy with hubby regardless of 'worker guy' in the picture or not, you should end the marriage so he can be with someone who wants to be with him and is happy with her decision.
2006-06-14 06:11:02 · answer #5 · answered by teetee's mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My question is why did you get married to someone else, if you still have feelings for this guy?
Marriage is a serious commitment to another person and it would not be recommnded for you break up your marriage now. But if you are not happy then staying with your husband makes no sense at all.
In the end, the decision is yours. Follow your heart, and make the choice that will make you HAPPY! Because unhappiness causes STRESS!
All the best with the decision you make!
2006-06-14 06:10:37 · answer #6 · answered by sassy_sexy_honey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should stick with your marriage. You made a commitment, do you remember the "til death do us part" vow? Why not be a mature adult, and make your relationship with your husband better. Tell the other guy to bug off. After all, he cheated with you when he was with a girl for 5-6 years, and I would almost bet money you weren't the first girl he cheated with. So if you left your husband for this guy, do you honestly believe he won't do the same to you?
2006-06-14 06:08:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all when he had the girlfriend what you and him did is called cheating. So not only did that make him a cheat but you one as well. Now that you are married you are thinking of getting back with him. Well if he cheated on his girlfriend with you, what makes you think he won't do the same thing? Also, you took vows to your husband, family and friends, and before God to love, honor, and cherish your husband. Are you now willing to throw all of that away? This guy is no good for you and you need to stay with your husband and keep your vows to him and God. If you break those vows and go back to the guy, not only are you a cheat, but it shows everyone that you had no intention of keeping your vows, which makes you also a liar and someone who cannot be trusted.
2006-06-14 06:12:02 · answer #8 · answered by Julie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made a decision in life to be married. As long as the man isn't abusive, etc. you should've thought about this before hand. You can't "have your cake and eat it to". You chose a certain man to spend the rest of your life with, stick by it. If you really feel that other guy is the one, discuss it with your husband before making any hastey moves. Just remember the "grass isn't always greener on the other side".
2006-06-14 06:09:09 · answer #9 · answered by peacefreak2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the first thing you should dois talk to your husband about why your happy in your marriage. you got maried for a reason, find out what's wrong there first before doing something you may end up regreting....As for this other guy, sometimes things work out that way. you get three chances at true love and if this guy is what you say he is, then maybe it is possible you are suppose to be with him. You need to sort out your feelings and think about what you really want before jumping into something with your eyes closed!!!!!!!!!
2006-06-14 06:09:01 · answer #10 · answered by shawny2623 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you better hurry and get an annulment before you get too deep into it, all though I think your past that, but you know what I'm saying. We all ways settle for the wrong ones. I find my self in a similar situation, the difference is that I'm not married and I'm not looking for any one but this one guy, even tho he's got a live in gf. I want to wait for him and he wants to be with me when he breaks up with his girl. But hearing your story it gives me the will to wait as long as I can so I don't end up in the same situation
2006-06-14 06:53:41 · answer #11 · answered by sexzbich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋