Single Dad?

Question

I'm a single father to a 1 year old. I have full custody. It has been hard to date... so is that the problem?

My guess is that there are many girls willing to date me but not date me with a son.

Possibly the scare is in the realization of loosing some freedoms... does it make sense? I like the changing diapers comment.

Yeah there is possible hostility towards the opposite sex but its been more than 2 years since that relationship. I'm starting to think that the reasons for lack of dating are exposure and the reality check for girls when they realize there is some commitment beyond one person.

Answer 1

With a one-year old, you will undoubtedly be visiting a good family-oriented, Bible Church home, I'm sure. "Raise up a child in the way he should go, and he will not depart from it." You don't give any details about you previous marriage. You did that one YOUR way....and how did that work for you? You, as the man and the father, are the head of your household. The hierarchy of a healthy, happy, well-functioning home is GOD, The Husband/The Wife (As One), then the children. Without the foundation of the family being formed on a solid, faith-built marriage, the children will not grow up whole.

Unfortunately, you do not have a helpmate at the moment. I'm sorry. But God has one ready for you if you now choose to follow His leading. Church activities are a good place to meet good women. Also, many churches now have "Singles" nights where other singles can meet, get to know each other, etc.

You will be the primary model of how your son will grow to know how to treat others, how to respect, how to be compassionate, giving, and responsible. He will watch you and mirror your actions and reactions. How you treat women, relationships, and challenges will be the way your son will treat women, relationships, and challenges. You have a daunting task ahead of you, but one that's the most rewarding.

My son met a lady in a group at Church; she had three children, and he was taken with her and the children almost immediately. He'd only been back from Iraq for about 6 months--Army 82nd Airborne Rangers. He askedk her out to Sunday lunch and I got to watch the kids. They went out on evening dinner dates a several times, and they sat together at church whenever they were both there. I asked him whether or not he'd had sex with her. He told me, very bluntly: "Mom, I've done that stuff in the past---I know it was wrong. But this woman is far too precious for me to treat like some dirty pair of underwear." I never asked him again.

Then one day, my son came to me almost frightened about how he would be with this lady and these children. He was always such a wonderful kid, and as a teenager he worked, got good grades, was in basketball, football, track, and was focused. But he feared that his experiences in Iraq had taken away some of his "human" side. He said, "I love her, Mom, but I don't want to take all my baggage into this relationship." He went on to tell me that he wanted to be a good husband and father for all of them.

I told him this: You were in hell for a time, but you're back now. You are not the same boy you were when you entered the Army; but you're the man who grew from the boy, stronger, with your eyes are open to the good and evil in the world. You know what a good father is---because you had one. You know what a good husband is---because you knew mine. But most importantly, you know God and you know that a family must be grounded on faith to live and grow. As long as you know and keep in daily contact with "your boss," then you can be a good head of the family, teacher, partner, communicator, and friend.

About four months later, he asked this young woman to marry him. He also asked the children if he could be their father. All of them said, "Yes." They've been married for almost two years, and have another child on he way. They have their challenges, too; they have their rough roads, rough patches, but nothing is ever bigger than their faith in God, and in each other.

I pray that you take the time to learn what a good husband and a good father is supposed to do from "your boss". Then HE will send you the woman he has planned for your life partner.

God bless you and you child.

Answer 2

I agree that many women love babies, and that alone should have ladies lining up around the block to spend time with you. Maybe the problem is where you are going. Take a stroller and go to the park. Put your little one on a blanket and play with him. Make sure there are lots of people around. Go to the beach and do the same. Dress your little one in really cute outfits. Many ladies love cute little outfits, and are drawn like magnets. A dad playing with his little one...what could be cuter? You'll just have to put the both of you out into circulation a little more. Have patience. Some gal may already be watching you, checking you out whether you're the real deal or not. Us ladies have to guard ourselves too. We know that some guys purposely do that stuff to get dates, not wanting to really settle down with a family. So, just be yourself. Don't play games...with the ladies that is! I'm confident that something great will happen for you and your little one. <*)))><

Answer 3

It might be. 1-year-olds need every little bit of attention from their parents. I know I have a 1 year old and I'm a single Mom. But really try to find an awesome babysitter and go out at least once a week. Don't feel bad about have some time to yourself. And if you're going to date please make sure the other person is OK with you being a full time Dad.

Answer 4

I have dated and married a guy that had a child...We are currently divorced after 8 years and now I am a single mom...So i know exactly what you are going through....It is very hard to date....some advise: dont bring every girl you meet around your child...wait until you know they are going to stick around....you can talk about your child, just dont let them meet him at least right away...

i have dated 5 people since i left my ex and only the 1 i am currently seeing has met my daughter....it is less confusing that way for the child....if you brought everyone around and they all leave the child will begin to think its them...

Good Luck....

Answer 5

Naw my father raised me as a single father for about 7 years and when women saw how much he put into raising his son the right way they were all over him. Don't even trip on the dating scene just rais you're child and make him/her the focal point, women will flock to you. Any woman wants a man who is a good father and has family values. Just put youre child first.

Answer 6

one million. A telephone mobilephone if she does not have one. If that is no longer an alternative, no longer realizing what she likes, I might advise a sexy necklace or anything like that. You might even take her with you to choose one out that she'll be capable to put on plenty and say "Thanks, my dad gave it to me." whilst individuals praise it. But then, I love jewellery and he or she could no longer. You might simply present to take her searching one weekend and purchase her a few garments or books or anything it's she likes. That approach you get to spend time in combination too. two. I actually simply had an extended dialog with my manager and a few different coworkers approximately this :P Most of the men with daughters stated sixteen. I say 15 and even 14 (your name, you are her father... while you feel she's mature adequate). But in case you go away it too lengthy she'll do it besides after which she may not think like she will speak to you if she demands to and also you most likely do not desire that. three. What time does she rise up within the morning? Curfew will have to be no less than nine hours earlier than that so she will get dwelling, get to mattress and get a well sleep for the period of the university week. At thirteen I might say nine for the period of the week, 10 on weekends is lovely fair. General recommendation: Don't ever freak out approximately boy stuff. You most likely, most likely desire her to be capable to return speak to you and he or she may not if she's involved you'll be able to get fairly disappointed. Be open together with her and he or she'll be open with you.

Answer 7

You need to focus on your child right now and not so much on your personel life.

Take your child to the park, meet other single parents. Someone that you have something in common with you.

Just so you know, I think it is a wonderful thing when a dad gets custody. It says alot about your character.

Don't blame your child for you not dating.

Answer 8

It shouldn't be. Lots of women find that attractive that you take such full responsibility of your child. Well, unless you are taking the baby out on dates with you. That may pose a problem. Maybe you are trying to date the wrong girls?

Answer 9

No! Woman love the fact that a man can be a dad to his child. You just are not meeting the right woman. Hey- I'm sure a lot of woman would love to date you on here!lol. No but seriously, just give it time. it will happen. Good Luck!

Answer 10

I know how you feel...... I have been that way for a long time.. But there are people out there in all time sweetie..

I have to admire you for stepping up..

I have two kids and I could care less so I say take care of the ones close to you. When you ready she will come.....

Have a great day.