We have been together for about 6 years now and at the start of our relationship she said she wanted to wait until we got married so I respected her wishes and waited. Well we have been married for almost 2 years and we still have not had sex. What should I do? I try talking to her but she just gets mad about it. The next day she acts like everything's ok. I don't know what to do, I love her and want to be with her. Am I just being selfish or is this something that needs to be addressed? Someone please help!
2006-06-14 05:46:24 · 28 answers · asked by Adam S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i believe it is kinda of an issue and u should address it. r u sure she might not had had some traumatic experience with sex that u don't know about (like being raped or something like that). what is her attitute towards sex in general?maybe she's been raised to believe that sex is a bad dirty thing and that what inflences her now. i think u should try talking to her in a calm matter. sit down, and tell her that u just wanna talk about it and wanna understand her better. u probably wanna have kids some day. ask her how is that gonna happen if u do not have sex. don't get defensive and trying to show her ur point. just listen. reassure her how much u love her. if she gets too stressed about it, tell her that u can stop talking about it now, but u would like to continue discussing the issue later.
if u think u can't talk abut it on ur own, maybe u can look for help from a psychologist. he/she can make ur wife feel more secure and find out the underlying problems.
good luck
2006-06-14 06:03:59 · answer #1 · answered by Unicorn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should try couples counseling if after 6 years you guys haven't had sex then there are some major issues to be addressed. I admire your respect and patience for this issues and i guess I'm quite shocked. I'm sure you love her but this is something that needs to be talked about. Maybe there are just deeper issues which your not aware of. Whatever the case may be you need to have a counselor or a therapist talk to you guys and figure something out. And no your not being selfish! Good luck buddy!
2006-06-14 12:52:21 · answer #2 · answered by Mia A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your one of a kind a guy you know! You have been patience for 8 yrs wow!!! As everyone has said that your wife need professionally help you need to talk to her about going for counseling etc! There has to be a reason for her behavior, i mean she wouldn't be saying no to sex just because, try talking to her and see if some thing has happened to her sexually, molesting etc. If she refuses to see a counselor than you have bigger problems.... she should respect your for how much patience you have but enough is enough.... she told you after marriage you guys will have sex in a way she lied to you, she gave you false hope!!
If you love her a lot to keep up with this no sexual marriage than good luck and if you do want to have kids in the future and have your name be carried on than its time to say good bye! 8 yrs is long time and why she doesn't want kids that's why she is avoiding sex? Talk to her, sorry not a big help but wish you all the best!
2006-06-14 13:08:52 · answer #3 · answered by Pari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She definately has a issue or afraid of something maybe something happened in her life and thats the reason but shes your wife and you should be together in every way. Tell her you will take is slow and have her experience I don't understand why if she does love you with all her heart why its been this long. My guess is something in the past. Maybe having her see someone to talk to about the problem might help but you waited this long until you get her help she probably won't ever have sex.
2006-06-14 12:53:49 · answer #4 · answered by wildrose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Home girl has some major issues! Two years of marriage without sex? Holy hell, id be bangin holes in the wall!! You need to go to her and br brutal, she needs to tell you why this is happening, was she molested as a child? Is it painful? There must be a problem. This is not normal behavior, she needs to see a counselor, doctor or something. You need to be supportive, but she also needs to know that you have needs, wants, and desires. She should want to fulfill those things for you if she loves you. I am surprised you havent gone elsewhere in search of some luvin after 6 long years, wow, you are a great husband. Good Luck Bro!!!!
2006-06-14 12:52:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure she's a woman?
I mean who knows? Why would she not want to have sex if you're married? And married for 2 years and still no sex? I would be nuts after 2 years and I'm sure you're at least getting there.
You should just get an annulment since the marriage hasn't even be consummated.
2006-06-14 14:20:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Totally needs to be addressed! You're a better man than most, waiting around for 6 years without getting any. Your wife is being totally unreasonable and unfair to you. She needs some major help! Hope you're able to work things out, but if not, you have every right to leave and NEVER look back!
2006-06-14 12:51:14 · answer #7 · answered by thersa33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you ever been in the bathroom with her or took a leak while shes taken a shower if not u might want to. you may have ended up with a husband instead of a wife. if it is actualy a wife you need to seek professional help because obviously she has had some sort of tramatic expierence as a child or young adult that has caused her to turn away from the thought of sex.such as rape or child molestation that would explain why she gets angry at the mention of sex. as husband and wife we expect certain things in the marriage sex is one of them. if theres no psychological problem. then shes takeing the words playin hard to get at a hole other level. and its grounds for an anulment but I would say that she was either molested or raped as a child and doesnt feel like talking about it.
2006-06-14 13:15:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sure is not normal at all. Either she is not sexually able physically or something really terrible happened to her. First she needs to have a real good exam by a good doctor. If everything seems as it should be then it is time for a concealer. How you Can get her to do this is another matter. She may be afraid to know the truth. Not a normal state of affairs at all.
2006-06-14 13:01:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont understand why ur still married to her because thats what marriage and love is about, if u respected her wishes and waited till u guys were married then i dont see why she wont have sex with u, after u get married u are supposed to consummate ur marriage by having sex i believe its a law that says if u dont consummate ur marriage within a certain amount of time then u are able to divorce her. go to google and look it up.
2006-06-14 12:54:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous16 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋