I agree with him that we are not ready for marriage yet and we are still too young, but shouldn't I at least have a ring on my finger?Should I leave a great guy and a loving relationship for the fear that we will never get married?
2006-06-14 05:25:28 · 31 answers · asked by ♫ ♫ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Having a ring on your finger doesn't mean anything if he doesn't want to marry you than you can keep that ring on your finger for the next decade! You just said that your too young to marry than why should you worry yourself for having a ring? All that matter is that he is loving you and your relationship is healthy!! Why do you want to leave a guy whom you call great and loving!! Do not put this 4 yrs of relationship down the drain do not make that mistake than you may regret it later!!! Give him time he probably wants to make himself secure enough financially and career wise before to ask your hand in marriage!! And if its really bothering you than you should sit down with him and have a nice talk get it out of your system you will feel much better!!
2006-06-14 05:33:31 · answer #1 · answered by Pari 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I would think about leaving. If he has made no hint whatsoever about marrying you I would be shopping around definitely. Men know about 1-2 years into the relationship if they are going to marry you or not. If he hasn't asked you yet he may never ask you. There are a lot of times when a guy will stay with a girl for a long time, like years, then dump her for someone else they like and marry the other girl almost immediately. Like within a year or months after meeting her. I have heard stories of this happening at least about 5 or 6 times in my lifetime. He may just be a slow bloomer, but if you want marriage and he loves you he should make you his wife. It's now or never.
I hope I don't disappoint you or make you worry but it's only fair to let you know this. Men can be complete creeps and a**holes. They don't feel or think the same way as women do therefore they are more self-centered....they usually do what's good for #1. If someone is not committed to giving you what you deserve in life move on.
2006-06-14 17:44:45 · answer #2 · answered by Blah Blah Blah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. Please focus on the relationship, if he's a great guy. Why are we women so focused on getting the ring and getting married? Many marriages fail partly because some unready; unwilling guy felt forced into it. That's not the marriage base u should get.
Should u leave him? Well, maybe not. It depends. If u live together, then get a separate place because, as my generation says, "Why buy the cow when he can get the milk for free?" If ur doing "wifely/wifey" things, rethink ur choices. C if he's w/ u for u and not for what u do 4 him.
If u 2 aren't ready for marriage, why agonize about it? Why want a shaky marriage?
Hey, these r just views 2 consider. In the end, the choice is urs. Take care.
2006-06-14 05:40:47 · answer #3 · answered by karaokecatlady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should stay with him .. you've already talked to him about marriage and it sounds like he wants to marry you down the road but he's just not ready...
You said it yourself you're not ready ! A ring on the finger doesn't mean anything but a ring on your finger. It shouldn't change your relationship in any way ( other then one more bill to pay for while you're planning to start a new life together )
If you love him - he loves you - and you're both happy in your relationship I would leave things alone .. unless you can't handle not being married ..
In that case you should go find a guy who wants to marry you right away .. instead of marring somebody who loves you and wants to make sure it's perfect and exactly what you both want.
2006-06-14 05:35:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you shouldnt leave him if you both agreed you are too young that is good i think because nothing more miserable than being married too young enjoy and love him and let your relationship grow and if you are truly met to be with this guy honey you will be i know you dont feel this way now but believe me i know i married really young it lasted about 4 yrs and now im older and im single and as far as marriage goes i would have waited until i was ready 4 years is really not very long give it a couple more and see where it goes i think a good age for marriage is 25 to 30 years of age but tell your honey you at least want a ring he should know that you are a woman so good luck to you
2006-06-14 05:34:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really need a ring to validate your love? I've been with my guy for 5 years and we're not engaged. One day, I'm sure we'll get married...but as for now, we can't afford it. How are the two of you standing financially? Maybe you don't have a ring, because he doesn't want to go broke so you can have a new piece of jewelery. And if you want to leave him because you don't have a ring, then you really don't deserve him anyways. And besides, if you think you are too young for marriage, then what's your rush to get engaged? Isn't it enough you found a great guy who loves you? And you want to wreck it by saying "Oh, I think I'll leave him, because he won't propose..." Buy yourself a new ring and get over the fact that you're not engaged. Besides, if you force the idea of marriage onto him, there's a pretty good chance HE'll leave YOU!!! Enjoy being single, and don't rush into marriage. Divorce is expensive.
2006-06-14 05:36:47 · answer #6 · answered by kendrafer25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the reason for not getting married now is that you are not ready, then make a plan with him how the two of you will get ready and when you will get married. And of course getting engaged with him should be a part of that plan.
If he is afraid of committment and refuses to discuss any such plans with you, then he is probably the wrong guy for you. You'll end up wasting many years with him only to find out that he is not interested in marriage, or he doesn't want to have kids, or some other woman all of a sudden catches his fancy when you insist on marriage too much.
2006-06-14 05:36:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No first of al you should just be patient. You shouldn't be thinking about leaving him because he hasn't proposed after 4 years. He could just be trying to get himself ready. And also it takes a man a lot of time and thought and guts to propose to a woman in the fear that she would say no. Or after they get married she changes, in a bad way. Don't worry about it, he might propose soon. But don't leave him. You would be loosing aa four year love. Plus if y'all both agreed that y'all are not ready for marriage yet, don't worry about the ring. It seems that right now that you are really just worried about the appearance. Don't worry about it, it will come when the time is just right. Just DONT leave him.
HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-06-14 05:34:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats your hurry? A ring is just a material thing. You can belong to each other without the piece of jewelry. I think if you have a great guy and you both have been together for 4 years, then obviously you have something good going on. Dont let a symbol (ring) stand in your way to being happy or not. Just live life and enjoy each day you both have together. Good guys are hard to find. Also talk to him. Ask him if someday he wants to get married and listen to what he is saying. You guys have been together for 4 years.. you should be able to communicate future plans. Good luck!!
2006-06-14 05:32:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't leave him. I wouldn't worry about him proposing unless you're both ready for marriage and he doesn't. You'll know you're ready when you're confident he's the one man you want to be with for the rest of your life and that you're emotionally ready to handle your life as a wife and possibly (future) mother.
Just be patient. Maybe you could propose. Guys like a girl who makes the first move. And you can tell him how the ring symbolizes your loving commitment, and it doesn't mean you have to get married immediately afterward.
2006-06-14 05:29:21 · answer #10 · answered by lookdontlook 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋