2006-06-14 04:47:51 · 43 answers · asked by Help 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all, I am sorry...... I was married 22yrs. When you love someone with your heart and soul, its not as easy to move on. And you don't understand "why!"..... It's not that easy just to move on and forget.... Keep this in mind, If you did the best you could in the marriage you, keep that close to your heart! But don't blame yourself, it's just something that happens to ppl, they change.. If you "mother or father" them to much, and give them everything they want, they get bored easliy. And start losing interest!..It just might be something missin from her life, that she couldn't get by being married......... What i did, I started doing things that i was interested in, and finding myself and who i was... Believe me, it works..... "Start takin care of you"...... I know it hurts like hell!! But i come to realize this, "The only one you have in this life is yourself".. Because ppl are human, and you can't expect them, to do what you wish them to do. Cause they will fall short...... You were to be married 25yrs. God needs you somewhere else at this time.... That is the way i look at it.. Your special someone is out there, you needed to wait that long in order to meet her.... You never know, you could be the happest you ever been ......... Just keep that in mind, someone else needs you......... I understand what you mean when you love someone unconductional.... Just remember a love like that hurts the most but its the best way to love.............. Take care and i do wish you the best.......
2006-06-27 10:14:32 · answer #1 · answered by ladybug 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been married 27 years, I filed for divorce when we had finished 20 years of marriage...obviously we did get back together, and didn't get divorced...my husband wouldn't pick up his clothes, do laundry, parent the children unless it was his crap they wrecked, then he went overboard;saying crap like I hate those kids, they are brats, I am never doing anything for them again...etc. he never cooks, he still doesn't pick up his laundry or do the laundry, he is home more, he complains less than usual, he won't quit smoking after making a issue about my drinking early on in our marriage, we have buried 10+ of his relatives from smoking related illnesses...yes I did quit drinking altogether, and not had a cigarette in 26 years. I have saved money, over and over, he just spends it, even if he doesn't earn it. I take my lunch to work, eat leftovers, pinch and save where ever I can, I still don't have a decent car, I hung 20 sheets of drywall and stood on a ladder to finish our crappy house for five years; to refinance to pay all the bills he ran up while we were separated-ya he cheated-so I shouldn't have to pay those stupid bills, most of that went to the broad he cheated with-whom by the way when we got married was only six. Lets see do you fit in any of these catagories?????? I have more, but no one has that much time. I have to look at him when I am mad at him and remember why I loved him in the first place. We have two daughters, he is a GREAT father...that is mostly the reason we got back together. I could make in on my own, I would have been just fine without him. Maybe your xwife feels the same way. sometimes you grow apart, things have to be in place to make the other one want to stay in a dead end relationship. I have four years left and my youngest daughter is grown, I may stay if things get better and I start getting some of the rose garden crap I think I deserve after spending a lifetime with someone and them just living their life like I don't matter. He doesn't like my laugh, or the way I do dishes, (course he never does them either) he may on occasion take out the garbage, only if it is sitting by the front door. Lazy comes to mind, but he does work hard when he is at work. The rest of the time I just put up with him.
2006-06-14 05:06:00 · answer #2 · answered by kangaroo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's only one side of the story whats the other part?? There is always a reason for a divorce no one will divorce a good loving husband. I am a woman and take it from me i would not divorce a good loving guy cuz in today's world its difficult to find one like that!! You might have done something that your hiding!! Give the full story to get a better response!
2006-06-14 05:05:38 · answer #3 · answered by Pari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is not always a clear answer for everything. If you are a good loving person, focus that love on someone who wants it. Believe in yourself. It has been 2 years, remember the time you had together but move on.
2006-06-27 06:47:41 · answer #4 · answered by jodi M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people go through personality changes as they age. I think most people get the feeling they haven't done very much with their life,so they look for adventure many times with the opposite sex. I am a good loving person and was married for 28 years and my husband was constantly looking for more excitement in life until told him enough and gave him 4 hours to get moved out!!!!!!!!Enjoy your freedom and peace from an overbearing mate who only loves herself.
2006-06-14 05:01:37 · answer #5 · answered by Twinky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will be hard to see many, if any good answers come out of this question, because it is way too vague. 25 years? And she up and left? There was definitely something wrong somewhere. Have you asked her-more than likely, she is a book, full of the answers you are looking for.....
2006-06-14 04:55:41 · answer #6 · answered by Elly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She wouldn't leave a 25 yr marriage if something wasn't wrong. Maybe you haven't made the effort to understand and therefore did nothing to fix things. We all like to think we are good people and I'm sure you are but there had to have been things you overlooked.
2006-06-14 04:52:37 · answer #7 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things just happen sometimes. Maybe you shouldn't look at this as an ending but a beginning for you. If you're having a hard time dealing with it go to counseling or join a group, that helped me alot. GOOD LUCK!
2006-06-14 05:12:00 · answer #8 · answered by pebblesmom4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something must of been missing.
Maybe not on your part, but on hers. You might of been the best husband in the world and she had some personal issues that you will never know or understand. Time to move on.
Love and passion happens at all ages.
Move on and let go.
(I am working on that myself)
2006-06-25 19:57:25 · answer #9 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should ask her and actually listen to what she has to say. People don't just divorce their spouse without good reason. It sounds to me as though you believe you are the innocent party here who was wronged. That is rarely the case. If for no other reason than to learn from your mistakes, you should ask her and let her tell you everything she wants to say without interrupting her or arguing with her.
2006-06-22 08:59:41 · answer #10 · answered by Samba Queen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋