My sex drive is non-existent,afraid boyfriend is going look else where,what can i do to please him?????

Question

I am a 30 year old female and have been with my boyfriend for 10 years now,at first we were having sex daily sometimes twice a day, i was into it maybe even more then him at the time but now he's lucky if i gives it up once a week and when i do i am not into it,just lays there and lets him get pleasure,sure it's not all that enjoyable for him either with me lying there like a board!!!I really wants to please him and make him happy but my sex drive has reached an all time low and no matter what i does it won''t go no higher,i am so afriad that our boring sex life is going to drive my boyfriend into the arms of a more exciting,sex-craved female! i don't really know what is wrong with me or what i can do to fix it! I use to eat,drink and sleep sex,i loved it and enjoyed it ,now just the talk of it makes me sick to the stomach! Many nights i will go to sleep on the sofa in fear of him touching me if i go to bed! He thinks i don't want sex with him cause i am getting it somewhere else!

Answer 1

See a doctor.

You may have a hormonal problem or there may be psychological issues in your relationship. Did he or you lose a job? Is money tight? Did he or you gain weight?

If you do not want to see a doctor, take 4 gms of arginine 2X a day, on an empty stomach (before bed and in the morning - dont eat for at least 45 minutes) and take DHEA. This will increase your testosterone levels which may increase your sex drive.

Answer 2

Girl, i feel your pain, I am in the same situation as you.....I am also 30years old..I thought my sex drive may increase in my 30's as that is what I heard..so far no SUCH luck. I go to bed before my boyfriend so taht I am sleeping when he gets to bed(or I least pretend to be asleep so he won't want sex!)Talking to him is the best thing I can say for now, my man and I are going to try a sex therapist.......if it works I will let you know! Good luck, and if he leaves you cause of the sex issue you are better off with out him, love is more then just sex............when you are 85 yrs old sex is not going to keep you together so you better have a better relationship bulid on something other then just sex!!

Answer 3

This is a common problem. I suggest that you see your doctor to rule out any medical issues you may be having. If you find that it isn't a medical issue, then maybe adding a little variety in the bedroom is the answer. Open up the lines of communication, get intimacy without sex by participating in senual activities like massages or giving each other baths.
After talking with your man, let him know that all contact doesn't need to lead to sex. Let him know with touches that you still find him attractive, stop him dead in his tracks, lock your eyes and kiss his neck for example.
Another idea is to add toys or movies, or make your own movie! You dont need to actually video tape it if you're embarassed or scared that it will turn up in the wrong hands later. The idea here is to role play and come together to think of erotic plots.
My belief is that if you tease yourself with these actions, you may reawaken your sexual desires! Good luck!

Answer 4

Hmmm...what exactly scares u about sex? Does ur boyfriend hurt u? Have u had any unpleasant experiences with men lately? i don mean affairs! Like,has anyone been sexually harassing u? Or did u suffer from child abuse as a kid? It'll do u well if u see a psychologist . The thing is.. i think u r under too much pressure. Stop all thoughts about sex! Go on a trip with ur beau..somewhere nice..and just get to know each othher more...

Answer 5

First of all, you should talk to him about it. See what he thinks is a good resolution. But if that doesn't work, buy some porno and watch it with him. Give him hand jobs, bj's or just let him play himself. A lot of men don't mind not having sex all the time. Your relationship shouldn't be based on sex even if it was all the time in the begining and not at all in the future.

Answer 6

It sounds to me like your just in a rut. The best thing to do is spice it up a bit. Use some toys, lingerie, candles, anything you can come up with that would make it exciting to you. Make dinner together, eat by candle light. You gotta set the mood for yourself. Have a talk about what your fantasies are and maybe he can create them for you. Also, I don't know if you have talked to your doctor but sometimes women go through early menapause and that can cause your sex drive to diminsh into thin air for no apperant reason.

Answer 7

You are right. No one likes having sex with a dead fish. And the attitude "oh well, lets get this over with ..." how exciting for anyone.

What do you think the two of you could do to spice things up a bit? what turns you on? do you get hornier when drunk or watching porn?

ok, here's an idea that is outside the box. do you have a girlfriend that is bitching about not getting any? is she clean and DD free? maybe invite her over to help take care of him once in a while. He won't leave you for her if you join in too. He will love you more.

I would

Answer 8

i'd say you need to remember the things that turn you on, ON YOUR OWN FIRST, and then share that with you boyfriend and show him how to do it. i think u lack of excitement because for the last couple of years the sex has become boring and single headed. you guys need to try new stuff and tricks for sex. watch some movies or real some sexual books (very cheap and helpful) and try these. you know you wanna have sex, but what pisses you off is that sex with ur boyfriend has become so boring that you blame yourself and get scared.
Just try new stuff and you'll see it come back again...
good luck !

Answer 9

Is there something wrong with you physically? You need to try to do different things so sex doesnt get boring, dress up in a sexy lingurie, watch a porno movie, or start out realllly slow and just work things from there. Is there something you are hiding that you feel is wrong or you need to tell him something? Sit down and break down your answers, that helps alot. Maybe its just you are tired or stressed out.

Answer 10

You need to talk to your doctor. Sex drive problems are usually either physical or mental in nature. You may have a chemical imbalance that the doctor can identify and fix.